Bah Freaking Humbug!!

Another year, and another candle added to the cake...woohooo *rolls eyes*

Someone wake me up when the holidays are over!!

Checking the old, stale and burned pizza

Good Lord,

where the hell is everyone? LOL

This posting hopes that everyone is doing well with their respective jobs and/or school! Life here isn't so bad, but can be grueling at times, especially when it's that time to add yet another candle to the old cake...errr pizza. LOL Anyhow....

Here's to another Christmas season, which will hopefully be over soon.... if you care to know, shoot me an email! If not, will catch you on the flipside!

Matt

Blank

Life Blows.

Well, it sucks.

O.k., so life blows and sucks!

Sucks and blows!

hum...maybe I should use different adjectives on this blog since the majority of you are male and might get the wrong idea!

Suck and blows I say!

Just "Checking"

I checked the pizza but didn't find anything. Just some old chest hairs; a tube of lip gloss, & a half-eaten pepperoni. That's like sittin' down on the couch to a game & finding a nickel buried beneath your cushion. The nickel may be all worn out & it may smell like crusty @$$, but at least you're 5 cents richer! :-D

I currently have a head ache, this sharp pain in my a-double-s; yet, life could be worse. My name could be Richard Simmons & I could be sweatin' to the Ice Age. But that ain't the case...thankfully.

It seems like everytime I get on this thing, I've got nothing to say. All this crap going on in my mind; all the sheeyat I'm going through & undertaking in MundoTribe...but, blah. Tell me, Dr. Phil, am I really crazy like they say?...am I having another pre-menapausal episode? Even on MySpace, I'm not that active. Oh well...

Wouldn't it be ironic if someone blogged up a suicide note?

I got put down by an old lady at HEB, just the other day. I was on the phone with a vocalist & I hear this "So cryptic!" whispered behind me in the line. I was inclined to do one of my Tekken-style Dragon Kicks but...I reminded myself she was just an old fart & kept on with my conversation with the vocalist.

I think we're about to be on KPFT. Last I heard, they've wanted us for an interview for over a month, now. It sucks that my bro's out of the country or we could tackle that like yesterday. He's down in Guatemala assisting in the production of that movie, "La Llarona". It's an expensive indie-flick one of our industry friends is producing & directing. We were graciously asked to write & compose the score (awesome $hit!). My boy, though- he'll be back on the 14th of November, then we got that Via Colori gig in the 18th at downtown's Sam Houston Park. I think after that's when we can get a final mastering date for the CD. Yay!

Aside from holding the fort down for my friend & co-partner & training a new crew for the project, I really ain't doin' much of anything. I get out almost every other weekend to get drunk with my cousins, or to catch a flick...but with work, these new developments in the band, & all these holidays coming up, ain't really much time for much else.

I should call my brother & see if I can reserve a weekend at his in-laws' Deer lease. I don't like to hunt but I DAYUM sure love the scenery, especially with my Cannon AE-1 fully-manual camera with telephoto lens! I need to buy a tripod for that crap, though. Thing is, they don't sell Tripods like they used to. These days, they're all mostly made of cheap, breakable plastic- nothing like how they were made 20 year or so ago. Ah, well...make due, I guess.

If you're a guy, maybe you can answer this. If you're sittin' at a bar havin' yourself a beer & this Hindu chick with one of them red dots on her forehead comes up & starts to hit on you, what do you say when she asks you "Looking at anything in particular?"?

One of these days, I'm gonna load up on Enchilada's & milk; take a drive to the tallest downtown office building, & spend the whole morning & mid-afternoon riding the elevators.

Okay, I'm done with my crap. Have fun, y'all!


Mista' Hand

Stress

202 Toppings, one crust

Late night, most of you are asleep. I'mu missing the blog and wandering where everyone is. I miss the blog. But we reached 200 blogs!

Hi to all: Brian, Jess, Susie, Jay, Bri, Craig, Bo, Alva, Jason, and Matt!

Have a good weekend.

Very Funny Ads

OK, since I've been lazy on the weekly site links, here''s some to make up.

Did anyone watch this? It was okay. There were some good ones. I am still on a search for the funniest commercial I have ever seen. When I find it, you'll know. In the mean time, here are a few of my favs from the show on TBS last night!

http://veryfunnyads.com/ads/24753.html

http://veryfunnyads.com/ads/24678.html

http://veryfunnyads.com/ads/24745.html

http://veryfunnyads.com/ads/24738.html

http://veryfunnyads.com/ads/24752.html

http://veryfunnyads.com/ads/24739.html

http://veryfunnyads.com/ads/24820.html

http://veryfunnyads.com/ads/24736.html

http://veryfunnyads.com/ads/24876.html

http://veryfunnyads.com/ads/24742.html

Anyway, there's others. Browse through the site. It'd be interesting to know others favorites are. since mine all (mostly) have somethiing perveted or sex-related in them. Somebody needs to get laid!!!

Blog # 200! woohoo...

Ok, so I get # 200, since noone else has written anything!

I survived my lil excursion down to the Guadalupe this weekend. The trip was slightly delayed since someone's boyfriend couldn't get out of work on Friday....but that turned out for the better. I'll post more about it later today, but I have to get ready for work right now.

I will leave you with a picture from the other night....a perfect moon.....

Car issues, resolutions, getting/feeling old and vacation....

Hi everyone!!

Anyone miss me? :p Didn't think so...lol

So, here's a little venting .....

For those who don't know, I work for a local home owners association. Ok, get all the booing, hissing and shit out of the way now....I'll wait............................................................................................


ok, so now that you got that out of your system...I'll continue. Friday afternoon, I was driving around with my own vehicle to check up on a few problem houses. After completing one section, I decide to go get some lunch for myself and a co-worker. Upon getting to Quiznos, my oil light comes on. So, being used to that, I grab a spare bottle of oil out of the trunk, put it in, then proceed to get lunch. Heading back to the office, in the heat w/o a/c in the car, i head out of the parking lot and onto the main road. My car, which had been making some noise (i thought due to dirty fuel injectors), starts acting up. I turn left onto the main road and get to the next light which is read, and the car stops....completely!! Mind you, it's about 1:30 in the afternoon....I attempt to restart my car....about 10 times......it tried to turn over, but never did. So, I turn on my hazards, get out of the car and pop the hood. No steam...so, I'm thinking, it can't be THAT bad....

Meanwhile, being stuck in the middle lane of a road at an intersection suckes ass. Dumbasses driving up behind me are paying absolutely NO attention to me...until they get up on my ass...and start wondering why the f*** I'm standing in the middle of the road behind my car. So, I call my boss, and she sends 2 of my other coworkers to come get me. We end up using the other vehicle, a Jeep Cherokee, I think, to push my car to the nearest side road to get my car out of the way.

When I get back to the office, my wonderful GM, which, I do need to do something nice for her....called up a local mechanic to tow my car to his shop to look at it, all for free!! (yeah!). When they pick the car up, I tag along to find out what is wrong with the damn car. They get it back to the shop and try to start it up. While doing so, a little boy of about 10 years old whips his head around and says, "Hey dad, I think they're starting up that motorcycle out there!!" (that's how loud and horrible my car sounded). I looked at the boy and said, "I wish it were that, but nope, it's my car!!" The boy looked crushed.......but not as bad as I would be looking in a few....

The owner of the shop comes in and says, "I got some bad news for you!"

At this point, I'm thinking it's the alternator or something really bad......

He turns to me and says, "By the way it sounds, I think you may have thrown a couple of rods in the engine. We can't be sure unless we start taking the engine apart!!"

****!!

So, they take me back to work, and I"m just absolutely useless....I can't concentrate on a damn thing and wondering how in the world I'm going to be able to afford a new car.....

So, I call my brother up. I tell him the situation, only to vent and so that I wouldn't have to call my mother to have to ask her for help. My brother tells me that he knows someone who buys cars, rebuilds them and resells them. He told me he'd call the guy and see what kind of deal he could work out.

So, in the meantime, I'm calling my insurace company to tell them what happened so that I could try to get my money back, since I had just paid the bill Thursday night.....and just got my new EZ Tag, AND just had filled up gas in my car....(but don't think I'm bitter bout any of this, ok?) lol

My brother calls back, I guess my 30 mins to an hour later...I have no concept of time at this point either. He tells me that since he and his wife are expecting (yes, I'm going to be an uncle for the 4th time.....first time on my brother's side), that he needs to sell his car so they can get a new one. He follows that up with, "Hey, I know you don't me to make it look like a charity case or taking pity on you, so I'll sell you my car for $100!!"

I was flabbergasted, not b/c of his comment about being a pity case, but b/c he actually thought about GIVING me his car.....(there are stories behind that, but y'all will have to ask me bout it in person...assuming I want to talk bout that). So, of course, I say ok!!

So, after that, I actually get a little bit of work done and end up leaving work at 6. With the work day FINALLY over, I again attempt to contact Suzy to come out. After much text messaging, she agrees to come out. We end up going out to eat, then watch the Astros game. During that time, we decide to do the Extreme bowling at a local AMF. We end up bowling for 2 hours or so. Now, when I was 5 years younger, I could probably do that and not feel a thing. Saturday, I felt pretty good....until the evening, when all the pain decided to show up in my left leg. Sunday, I could walk, but with a very bad limp. I felt like I needed a walker....ugh.....

So, I have survived the weekend...and dreading having to go back to work tomorrow. It's going to be pretty hectic and add in the fact that I have to rush home so I can meet suzy to go to the game tomorrow night. That's going to be fun.....(the game, not the rushing to downtown from Katy.....) In the meantime, I'm trying to get pack for Thurday, when I'll be heading out to Canyon Lake, TX, to go floating down the river.....with a beautiful woman (and unfortunately) her boyfriend and a few others. I also need to buy a few other things, like suntan lotion (ask suzy bout the last time I came back from the river). Another thing I need to buy is a tube for the river. The place we're going to is expensive as heck!! $20 deposit for a tube, plus I think another $15 for the day....assuming you float the entire trek of the river. I tried to go out and buy a tube, but most of the tubes I have seen around town, from Academy to Walmart, are all those colorful tubes, that are called 'towable tubes' cost a bare minimum of $50!! WHAT THE FUCK?? When I was a kid, we could buy big ass black rubber tubes for like $5. If any of you know where to find those, PLEASE let me know.

Anyhow, that's my rant. I hope everyone else is doing well. Brad, I'm thinking that maybe we'll try to bowl again in a few weeks. Maybe the weekend of the 25th?? Get with suzy and/or me. E-mail me or send something through myspace. It'll depend on her schedule and if I decide to go visit my buddy and his wife in college station. Brian and Jess, how's the weather up there? Hotter than hell here. Hi to everyone else!! :-)

This is the "soon to be tanned" Asian cowboy signing off for now!

Detour

Welcome to Houston, we hope you enjoy our Texas hospitality. Did you know Houston, "Space City", is considered one of the countries most diverse populations? Home to the Astros, Texans, Rockets, Comets, Aeros, and a few inter-league and minor league and other sports associations; Houston builds stadiums for it's top three teams, ... and other teams, they go to Rice, U of H, or some hidden small stadium around Houston. But enough about that, let's take a tour.

Docking in the bay, drivers can find their way to Interstate 45 and head into the real heart of Texas. But: wait, 45 is closed at the Galveston bridge for construction, so visitors from the Gulf should push their vehicles to their some type of ferry over the east side and come up to Interstate 10 , come up through Baytown and get in through the east side. Right after the San-Jacinto river, however there is some exciting expansions to I-10 to be completed in the fall of 2035, so drivers will have to either travel north to Dayton, and Northwest to Liberty, through to Conroe, back south on the Hardy Toll Road feeder to loop 610, east on 610 and back around to I-10. Once vehicles get on the Eastex, they must take the first exit and turn left and make their way to Airline to 45 and down to the last exit before 610. right before 610, detours will lead visitors through the Historic Heights district to Allen Parkway. Construction re-directs Vehicles to Westheimer to FM1093 down to Hwy 6, and up to I-10. Congratulations, your are on a Houston Freeway. But you can only get to downtown by going west to the Grand Parkway and towards Hwy 90 . Take a left through the Historical Sugarland, past the closed factory and hang right on Dairy Ashford up to State Highway 59 and int own to the Sam Houston Pkwy. Take the beltway to I-10 and head in east to 610. Take 610 to Hwy 225 and on into your destination downtown. (Beware that every eight street is temporary one way lanes due to construction. On your departure from Houston, be noticed that weekly, and randomly, we close down outbound freeways and practice contra-flow drills with the incoming traffic, (usually between 7 am and 10 am, or 4 pm to 7 pm. We hope you enjoy your stay in Houston, Texas. Once we get all of our construction done by 2036, this place is gonna be great!! (That is if we're not overrun by New Orleans "Refugees"!!)

bh creative updated

bh creative went through a quick update tonight. some unused links and bad projects were removed. new projects were added. check out the print gallery. all of the previous non-prfessional samples have been replaced. after the cpletion of Admo, I will be redesigning the whole site.

Deleting Blogs

That bastard administrator deleted my last blog!

I guess he wants to live in fantasy where there is only happy things!

Nightmare on Elmside

It was a Saturday. I had a long day in the sun. I went to a tee-ball game. I mowed and edged my sisters yard. I went swimming.

By 4 pm I had a headache that wouldn't go away. A storm was rolling through, though I had no idea how it would end.

I layed down on the couch to rest off my headache. I have no idea when I fell asleep. I should have listened when they told me, ... "NEVER CLOSE YOUR EYES."

I watched movie after movie and my head still pounded. It was storming and most times, the heavy rain would relax me. This time, it was like each drop stung my forehead. I turned away from that glowing tv light for a second and closed my eyes. No light. Darkness. Relief. The tv turned off. Did I have it on a timer. I'd keep it off for awhile. Next thing I knew, I had got a few winks nodding off, but was awaken to, "Hey,.... hey you." It was coming from the tv, I turned around. The TV was on. It was a commercial. I must have dozed off and the tv turning off before was part of a dream. I flipped the channel. I don't need any stupid ass commercial freaking me out. I watched another movie. Night fell. The headache still lasting. My body and eyes were getting tired. I lay on the couch with the lights off and the tv on staring at the roof, thinking about I had just got my hair trimmed and I should shave tomorrow to clean up for the weak. Then I heard a loud noise. A clang. i wondered if it was from outside. I got up and nothing was outside, So before I lay down for another spell, I'd take a piss. And in the sink, was my shaving can. That's what the noise was. But there is no way it could have dropped in there. It was sitting in the same place since that morning.

Alright, if it was a ghost, I could accept that. So I began another movie and spell on the couch. The phone rang. It was my friend Steve.

"Hey man, what's going on with you today?"
"Nothing, just sitting here on the couch."
"Sounds like a relaxing day."
"Something like that, where's my smokes? - Anyway, what's up with you?"
"Driving home on this long stretch of a bridge back to Baton Rouge"
"Hey can you hold on a second man? I left my smokes in my room. I'm gonna through on a shirt and go out for a smoke."
"Sure man,"

I walked in my room, grabbed a shirt froom earlier that day, tossed it on and walked back to the couch to grab my phone. Only it was on a different table. I picked it up. There was noone there. So I wnet out for my smoke and came back in. As I layed on the couch, the phone rang. It was Steve again.

"Hey man, what happened?" I asked.
"Hey man, what's going on with you today?"
"Nothing, just sitting here on the couch."
"Sounds like a relaxing day."
"Something like that - " I cut myself off, I was eniding this de ja vu experience, so I was thinking of how to change the conversation.
"How far is your drive?"
"Forever. To hell. What's it matter."

That was kind of morbid I thought.

"I gotta go man, I'll give you a call back." I said.
"Sure. Talk to you later."

As soon as I hung up, the phone rang again. Steve again. Must have been a missed connection, so I didn't answer. I smoked another Marlboro and came back inside.

The phone rang again. Steve again.

"What's up man?", I asked.
"Have you woken up yet?" He asked real strange and morbidly.
"Huh?"
"From your nightmare, have you woekn up yet?"
"Steve?"
"Anwser me have you woken up yet?"

He was freaking me out. So I hung up.

Then a knock on the door. As I slowly approached the peekhole, the phone rang again. I let it ring a few times as I looked through the door. A stranger stood at the door in a sweater and tan jeans, but I couldn't see a face, they where so close to the door. It surely wasn't anyone I knew. I went back and grabbed the phone, and answered it.

"Hey man," I whispered, "I gotta keep you on the phone, but not say anything. someones at the door."
"Sure man", Steve said quietly.
"You haven't woken up yet have you?", he said quietly ansd solemnly, "that's why he's at the door."
"Your fucking freaking me out man."
"You haven't woken up yet man. I'm in the water"
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"Your asleep"
"What the fuck are you talking about man?" I yelled in anger.

Three booming knocks on the door. And then chills went up my spiine as a strnage voice yelled through the door,

"He said you're asleep!"

My body lunged up from the couch and sweat poured from my forehead. I woke up.

(All of this was a fiction except for the shaving can thing: - whih sent m imagination on this whole story. That and seeing Nightmare on Elmstreet the night before on TV. Hope you enjoyed)

Oh Little Piggy O' Mine

"This Little Piggy

Had None, and

Squealed

WeeWeeWee

all the Way Home!"

(my bank account)
donations accepted

Dear Whoever the F##k cares,

Why do things,(life, love, and laughter) have to be so....my apologies for the vulgarity, Bo...GD F**k'n, over ridiculously, unbelievably, and intolerably frickn' complicated!? And don't even answer my cynically connotated rhetorical question with: 'life wouldn't be interesting without challenges' or 'it's not that bad, it could be worse, you should be grateful, look on the bright side...' Here is the bright side of my big fat white shining ASS!!!

Don't mess with me.

I am from Texas.

And I believe in the right to complain, and have a bad day.

So bite me and the horse I rode out on!

Signed,

The Princess


Post Script: I will explain the balloons later, which is a great tale, but now I have to go wash my hair.

Well, so much for a productive hour...

(this photo has nothing to do with this article)
The Devil wears Prada, I do not. I never have been a fashion guru, nor do I care to become one. Why should I advertise a label on my butt to promote a product for free? They should pay me to wear their clothes. Now, this does not mean I have given an ultimatum of never wearing labels or using brand names; I do live in the real world, ya know. But I am not exactly attracted to them either.

Labels, as we all know, are not exclusive to clothing lines. They apply to everything like cars, bars, stores, toys, candy, coffee, soda, soaps, deodarant, toothpaste, toilet paper, frozen pizzas, delivery pizzas, stereos, TV's, game systems, fast food, and everything else we consume with a brand name.

My dilemma is that I have fallen prey to the consumer driven society that we all live in and have developed a sense of preference for a few certain items, some of which include: Mazda, Side Pockets, Wal-Mart *sigh*, Tide (thanks Brad), Marlboro, Hasbro gummi bears, Blue Bell the best ice cream in the country, Hershey's, Altoids, Coke, Dr.Pepper, Folger's, Secret, Crest, Charmin, Digorno's -its not delivery, PapaJohn's, Sony, Play Station, Sketchers, Levis, T-Mobile, Jack-in-the-Box, Wendy's, and What-A-Burger. To name a few.

So, my day begins by drinking a cup of Folger's, putting on Secret, brushing with Crest, then driving to work in the Mazda, and answering my T-mobile when I get there. Lunch happens at Wendy's, all the while I'm wishing they had a JackintheBox or Whataburger in this part of the midwest, but they do not, so I sip on my Dr. Pepper while walking into the Wal-Mart to by some more Tide to do laundry tonight. After lunch, I pop an Altoid, the strongest mint and think of what to make for dinner. PapaJohn's sounds good with Bluebell for dessert, we can play play station tonight while waiting for the pizza, and man I can't wait to get out of these heels and hose and into my Levis and Sketchers. I think I'll have a gummi bear. A Hasbro gummi bear. We should meet at Sidepockets for a beer, I say to my spouse, and don't forget the Camels.

I am doomed. We all are. We are consumers of the Brand Name. Our brains are washed. Our money is spent. I need a Marlboro and a Corona with lime please. And Thank you.

Happy Belated to Suzy!!!!

And Happy Birthday to Suzy!

Where's this cake!

Suzy - 29 and 1 left!

Have all the fun you can; one more year and your boobs start dropping!!

Glad I got the opportunity to work with you!!

How it all began

Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers.
They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer & would go to the
coast and live on fish and lobster in winter.

The 2 most important events in all of history were the invention of beer
and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the
beer.

These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the
catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2 distinct subgroups:

Liberals and Conservatives

Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the beginning of
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented
yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for
them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how
villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night
while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known
as "the Conservative movement."

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live
off
the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the
sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the The
Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became
known as girliemen. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the
domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs and
the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and
beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by
the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.
Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have
higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal
injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group
therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule
because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide
for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officers, corporate executives, Marines, athletes and generally anyone
who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other
conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers
and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans
are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the Liberals
remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept
in after the Wild West was tame and created a business of trying to get
MORE for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to respond
to the above before simply laughing and forwarding it.

A Conservative will be so convinced of the absolute truth of this
history that it will be forwarded immediately

................

nothing really going on here....just dropping a line to you guys to say hi and stuff. Happy belated bday Jess!! Wish we coulda thrown you a bash.

Anyhow...hope everyone's well.....will talk to y'all later

Happy Belated Birthday!!!!!

From the worst, cheapest and forgetful friend in the world!!

To the best, hottest best friend I have - (sorry Craig) !!!

Happy, happy 30th B-day to Ms Kitty KC!!!!


Happy Belated Jess! I know on July 9th, 1976 something great came in to this world! I am very happy to have you as a friend and glad that you, Brian, and I all found each other again. I miss yall, but you're exactly where you're supposed to be. I was happy to be best man for you two - regardless of the crappy/sappy toast!

30! Damn girl. Getting Old! That's cool though - most on this blog have already been there and are older. I still haven't gotten a card up there, but I wanted to tell you happy birthday.

Also, Congrats on the New Job!!

So Many life changes. Almost makes ya have a nervous breakdown or panic attacks! J/J!

Happy Bday and Congrats!

bh11702

And she's back...

I would like to issue a formal apology to all of my fellow members of Check The Pizza for having fallen off the face of the planet for these last months or however long it has been. I would blame my absence on the self-centered introverted state of withdrawal resulting from the dark depression I have been suffering, but that would just be a pitifully lame excuse.
So, I am sorry.
I'm sure you have ALL just missed me something awful.

Seriously, if you can take anything I say seriously, I do regret having missed all of the wonderful posts....I've once again allowed myself to miss out on all the fun. Man, I need therapy.

Love to you and yo' mammas...

The story of Me, Myself, & I...

It stinks in here. I think Lindsay (my cat) farted.

Woops! Sorry 'bout that, was gettin' off into a tangent. ::chuckles::

There was this feller named Me, see? Me likes roses. Me likes'em 'cause they're so purrty. But one day, Me stepped in a puddle of water while walkin' the block around'er two & got all muddied up. So Me, then, went o'er yonder to the neighbor's house. Out walked ol' Myself...

Myself was in a bad mood. Apperently, the day wadn't right & Myself just had a chip on the ol' shoulder from it all so Myself came on out to try'n talk it over with Me.

"Son of a bitch, Me! Ya ain't gone guess what happened to yers truely today!", Myself'd expressed. "Had a talk with muh' lawyer & it seems I owe the bank damn near $500!"

"Ya don't say!", replied Me. "That cheeyit's funny 'cause I had to call a feller, today, from werk about his $500 he owed my bank! Recon that was you??!"

"Well, dudn't that beat all!!", Myself expressed, rather loudly.

Just two houses down, another neighbor heard the ruckuss & decided to throw an ear out the winder for a listen. But upon doin' so, the winder seal snapped & I fell through with a loud crash & a bang. About that time, Me & Myself looked up abruptly at the noise & was taken back by the grand adieur brought on by their talented 3rd-door neighbor.

"Hay, whatchy'all out here fussin' about!?", as I stood from the debris, shaking a leg to releases some minor shards from his new Ranglers. "Hot damn, I can hear y'all all the damned way to the kitchen, y'all so loud!"

"Oh nuthin', I, go back in the house!", yelled Me. As he'd done so, he'd grabbed Myself by the arm & darted off towards the front door of the house, gesturing to I a quirky brow.

As Me & Myself disappeared from sight, I went to get in the car to go to the store because this blog post makes no friggin' sense. Ha!

LOL! You mean you actually thought I was gonna type out a story? Seriously!? Do you honestly think I have the patience for that? LOLOL!!! But now that I've got you reading, I hope all of you are having good days & better nights. Check The Pizza's an awesome place to be so y'all give a big ol' well-rounded applause for the man that made it happen. You've got our support, Rightie!!

Err, I mean...Brad! Yeah... ;-)

The Day is Saved.

Ok, you may be saying what is he talking about.... Well, Jess and I are no longer faceing the down fall of our bank account. In simplier terms Jess got a job today that pays about 4$'s more an hour than she was making at Hobby Lobby. This couldn't have come at a better time. Supporting a family on my little hourly wage with 220.85 being taken out every week for child support was at it's end. Our savings was tapped and we owed way more than I was making. Jess is my hero!!!!
Jess, will be an office Asst/bookkeeper at a property management company here in Kansas City. I'm telling you this day saved us from ruin and Jess from having to take just any job that came along, she was about to accept a job at Home Depot for 7.00 per/hr. just so we could surive.
Now comes the fun part, finding a place to live and getting the hell out of mom and dad's. I just want you guys to know that Jess has been a real trooper here, it isn't easy living at my parents house. She can't walk around naked like she wants to, she can't cook like she want's to, she can't blast Bare Jr like she want's to, she can't f%*k me like she want's to....well you get the point. I'm joking about her walking around naked by the way. It's just not home for her or me, we need our own place and now we can really get started with our life here in KC.

SO HERE'S TO JESS, SHE SAVED THE DAY..........AGAIN.

I wrote this because no one else did...

Hope everyone had a good fourth of July. After trying to hang out, I felt sick and came home and watched the downtown H-town fireworks on tv.

Tonights entry has no point, so if you're life is that important, it's okay - carry on.

Ken Lay dead - what's your thought?

Things are kinda quiet around here these days!

New job is going good. They're keeping me busy. Between that and the freelance projects, keeping occupied. But not enough to totally rule out occasional crazy thinking. Been waking up in a wierd mood. I know it happens to all of us, but it sucks.

Did this pic in Adobe Illustrator a while ago. Mr. Hand commented on it, so I thought maybe it was worth posting up.

I warned you - no real point to this post.

New CTP Features
Have you looked around Check the Pizza lately? New links are posted up. Check Em Out!

Happy Holidays Fuckos' !!!!!

bh11702

A Night At Home; And something New To Do

Check Out This Site: http://www.psychostudio.tv/

You'll have to have more than dial-up.

Combine and rearrange clips from the movie "Psycho".

It's so fun, mom will love it.

City Serenity

Not usually words you think of together - city and serenity. I guess some people are city people and some are not. No doubt, the traffic and construction is constant and a pain in the ass. Today, or tonight, I was driving home a little after 8 pm. I was heading south on Gessner and was at Longpoint when I was drawn to the skyline. This image is catching, but not close to what I saw. Ahead in the distance towered the Memorial City office complex. The sky was fading into the rich drak colors and the buildings were reflecting a golden orange color. It was orange against a purple background. As I got closer, the reflections changed, and my mind drifted back to other things. But for a moment or so, I pondered on a few things.

A) I'm drawn to the big city lights. A man-made, man-lit skyline surely has nothing on a sunset Grand Canyon or December Rocky Mountain panaromic view. But it still catches me every time. The colors that are reflected or the geometric patterns of numerous blocks or lights that guide through the city.

B) I had a dream of working in those office buildings at one time. The downtown job with the gym and restaurants all within a few blocks. I though about my future. I've gone exactly where I needed to and ended up with a great deal on this job. Sure it's not the "Dallas" skyscraper office location. But the office location is near the apartment and my area of town.

C) I wanted to take a few more seconds to say thanks to everyone for all the support and encouragement. I can only think I have gotten here to put me in a position to better help someone else.

Cold Pizza

Check the Pizza has gotten cold at times oer the last months. Killjoy 101 went under months ago. Being Pickled is sitting in sour pickle juice, bottled up with a few pickles. Blogger.com is losing activity due to a few things these days.

The MySpace Movement

Damn MySpace. I gave in to it finally. more recently, Craig and Bo have added MySpace pages. MySpace is taking over blogs and chat rooms. With music, comments, bulletin boards, and colorful crowded pages that can scroll down for eternity. Don't forget when your adding all your friends and searching all the MySpace sites, to come back and Check The Pizza.

People Getting Busy in Life

People are getting busy these days. Matt has a new job. I have a new job. Jess and Brian are getting set in KC. People are doing thins, going places, getting lives. So if it does cool to a slower temp here, don't worry - I won't be shutting this blog down anytime soon.

Long Hot Summer Days

Damn these long hot summer days. After driving around in the heat all day, most times I'll come home just to veg on the couch for a few. Who's with me?! (No one? ... Well, that's how I feel, so ...)

I'm bored. And procrastinating. So, uh, ... no point to this really. Enjoy.

The PAX Era ends for one luck contestant!

So know everyone knows. The Pax era will officialy end for me on July 1st . After 6 years and 3 months of employment with PAX/ION, I will be moving on to better things. And I almost made it out with my dignity and pride. I have been going paychack to paycheck for a while now. Months. Kitty aand Killjoy know about that one. It came down to my paychecks running out after the first week, and having to work for or borrow the second week. I got one last loan to help me through this check and I was set. Then, this morning.

I was at the Krogers by my office at PAX/ION and I was pulling out to go to work. As I came around the parking lot, I surveyed the stores looking for a tobacco outlet store up by the office. Then, BAM!, I nailed some ladies car. What an idiot. I immediately parked and took blame for the accident. My truck is fucked up. Her Tauras was also a little fucked. If I can't bang this dent out by my tire, my truck will not be safe to drive. So, I am working on that tomorrow. Otherwise, I will be forking out, (borrowing from Mommy and Daddy - one last time), $200+ for rental car and $495 for deductable. Son of a bitch. I was so pissed, after recieving such good news about landing a new job this week, this shit rolls down. And I have no time to take care of it. For the next two weeks, I'll be working both jobs. Starting Monday. So all that shit sucks.

To cheer you up, there's the new job info, which most of you know. The company is Jenobi. They do web and multimedia design. The owners are two pretty cool british guys. Right off the back, they got me doing some good projects it sounds like. It's Mon-Fri, 9 to 5. WEEKENDS OFF!!!! So all you mothers who have been asking me to do stuff on Saturdays; I'm calling around starting July 8th. Jason and Suzy - not giving up on Mundotribe. Brian, Jess and Jay - Still going on with Admo. All other projects will still continue also. I'll find time somewhere. The job pays good, but no benefits. I'll live. Suzy, sorry to leave, but you're the top dog now - aside from Alex,... and Wendy, ..... and Bob, .... and Carol, .... and, well, Charles, so, uh, ... welcome to my world. But you can push aound the part timer. So give him/her hell!

All right, that's all. Had to bitch some. How about dem links?!

Good News

So, things are starting to look up.......

On friday, I got all my reports done on time, and without running around like a chicken with my head cut off!! Also on friday, my GM told me that I'm going to officially be hired with my company!

I also got a ticket to the Rascal Flatts concert on sunday....it's gonna cost me a few ...but it's going to be worth it....considering my friend got a limo!! :-) We gonna get DDDDDDDDDDDRRRRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNKKKKK!!

LOL

Now, if I could just get a date......

Fireman's revenge.....

Just thought everyone needed a laugh! :-)

Brad showing off his girlfriend. Nickname "rightie"

You got to click the pic to get the full effect

Can You Read This??????

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aucaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdring to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmoranttt!

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Links and read below...

1. Those of you who don't mind having links to your other blog pages, your my space sites, or your company sites, send me a link, BY EMAIL, to the site. I am going to be replacing the CTP Point Tally with CTP Member Links. My email is b_haines99@yahoo.com.

2. Read the post below. I enjoyed it. You can always read old posts by visitng the Archives.

3. I apologize to anyone I've ever been an asshole to and anyone I will be an asshole to in the future. (That covers that shit!)

I'm glad you're in my dash

I know some of you have seen this, but I wanted to post it. To those of you on here that I haven't had the pleasure of meeting personally, I want to say that for some reason you're in my life....you may not have intended on this, but some higher power (God, fate, destiny) led you here....Thank you for sharing your insights, laughs, and hardships......


I'm glad you're in my dash...

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning...to the end.

He noted that first came her date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.
(1934-1998)

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth...
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own;
The cars....the house...the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard...
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile..
Remembering that this special dash
May last only a little while.

So, when your eulogy's being read
With your life's actions to rehash...
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

If you have received this, it means that you are truly special to the one who sent this to you. I am glad that you\'re in and part of my dash. Send this on to the ones you care about even if it means sending it back to the one who sent it to you.

Funny Thought (mostly alone or late at night)

"With the arrival of Hurricane Season tomorrow, residents are finding out what they can do to take measures....", They said on the radio this afternoon a sI drove home. Meanwhile, my wiper blades are on their last legs and the rain had kept steady flow throughout the day.

"Damn!", I thought, "Hurricane Season starts tomorrow? They may be one day off."

The good thing was it was okay outside as far as the tempature. I mean, it is the last day of May, going into June, and we get to enjoy these rain storms as they break up the humid - hot, muggy days of summer in Texas.

In 2000 to 2001, I drove around in my Chevy Blazer, leather seats, no AC, and a smell of flooded carpet, old smoke, ashes, and beer mildew stains floating past my nostrils as I tried to gasp for a breathe of air from the tight selfish air. I remeber I had no AC in my Blazer for two or three summers, and as far as I remember, they seemed to be the hottest fucking summers I ever experienced in my life, Man, was it painful. Maybe that was the hangovers? Point aside.

That old Blazer almost died out on me. Although it had died a few times before, I always managed to revive it back to life. Well, not I, the mechanics,...whatever. The day I found the place that would give me cash for it, (a measley $600), It made a loud pop under the car as I pulled within a mile of the place I was selling it at. I thought, screw it, I'm taking the $600 before I get nothing for it.

I ended up with a new truck, 3000 miles on it, and it's what I'm driving today. Since the days of the hot summers in the Blazer, days where I actually threw up and got sick a few times from heat exhaustion, the heat has never seemed to be as overwhelming and as much of a challenge. Days like today, I welcome rain. "I love a rainy night." So, as they said this on the news, I laughed at the irony of it. I thought, they're a day late - or two, as far as the rainy part. And I remembered the days of the Blazer and thought - ..... eh.

So it's been awhile......So the hell what.

Hello everyone, I know it's been ahile since I've last posted anything, and I'm not sorry. Jessica and I are now moved up to Kansas City from Springfield (thank god). It went fairly well, we got everything but Jess's old beater car. Any of you want to buy a car for one dollar? I'm not joking one dollar and it's yours. Anyways, now we have a new goal and that is to get the hell out of the parents house as fast as we can. I'm about to start school after not being a student in about 11 years, and I'm not sure I even know how to be a student anymore.... I guess I need to learn, wait isn't that the point of school to learn? I read that some where. So, Jess is no longer working for Hobby Lobby after six years, and she is kind of stressed and doesn't know what to do with her self during the day. I'm working alot and trying to get things going for our life to start here in KC. Right now too much shit is up in the air, with Jess out of work, school starting, and living with my crazy parents. Yes I do mean crazy. Just ask Jess. So, what else is going on you may ask......NOTHING! So good night to all, and to hell with all the shit.

Happy Memorial Day!!

Happy Memorial Day!

Jess, Brian - hope yall are all moved out!

Evreryone else, have a good day!!!

That show everyone Loves to Hate - and why...

Dun-nuh, dnuh, dnuh.

AMERICAN IDOL!

If ya hate it don't read further.

But, please, REFRAIN, from commenting, unless you read this through.

But this is to bitch about it, not hold it on that pedastool like those people who like the outcome, who buy the CD's of the artists.

THE BIGGEST MISTAKE
A contestant on American Idol, Chris Daugherty, brought some cool vibes to the show. He was a rocker. He did good, sounded good - but he was voted off in the final four. Upon news he was going home - he even handled it like a rocker. where most contestants start cryingand hold this fake "I'm glad for the trip" shit, Chris actually looked like, for a few seconds, he was going to kick some ass or destroy something.

How great it would have been to see him, upon hearing American Idol "voters" are a bunch of fucking pansies, to see him elbow Ryan Seagull in the face. The he'd jump over and kick Randy Jackson in the face a few times - (he's a big guy). He'd givde Paula Abdul a mean rocker look, and she'd pass out. Then he'd tale two step forward, two steps back, before jumping off and giving Simon a choke hold; a sleeper hold. As American viewers watched, Simon would lose his energy and drop. Perfect Victory. Besides, who needs that sissy crap when you got a rock career laid out in front of you.

BUT WAIT!
So you're one of the rare Idol contestants who has talent and is not a girl or a really gay-ass guy. (Besides Ruben of course). You're the anti-Clay Aitken. People actually can watch ou and not cringe. You sing a band's song better than their own lead singer does as everyone notes. The single you aced was a top hit on the charts! Fuel offers you a job. So, you really have it set. Way to go, .... but wait, .... you turn it DOWN?? Whatta fuck! Oh my God, .... you're gay! Why the hell would you blow a chance like that, I mean sure, most Fuel fans would turnyou over like a slab of meat on the griller; burning you at both ends. And Fuel would see it's demise in coolness just from having an American Idol contestant in it's group. So how do you get to that point without going through the deathening career ending grip of American Idol ? Just do lots of drugs, lots of drinking, annual or bi-annual rehab and treatment centers like all the other altertantive rock bands - ... and cover you're body in tattoos. (I'm getting one that says, "I love you, Mom!").


So there it is. Chris Daughtery - may have a slim - slim chance of coming back from turning down a rock band. May! But, I doubt it. Chris, you might have to get used to years of touring with Idol flash in the pans and overblown celeberties like, Clay Aitken. And since his type of crowd will be in the audience, and you're rock will be too provocative, yu'll be forced to powderhis ass in the dressing room, and you may lose your mind. I'd say, we won't blame you, but we would. What a dumbass show.

Favorite quote this year...

Reba McEntire at the ACM (Academy of Country Music) awards tonight about hosting the ceremony:

"I don't know why I was so nervous about hosting tonight. I mean, if the Dixie Chicks can sing with their foot in their mouths, I think I should have no problem hosting this gig!"

The question

Who are you?

Rule #26-2483-63

Be Nice Damnit!!

muligan

Whoa
whats that you
got in your pocket... !!!! ?

------------------------


God, i hope she doesnt think its my lighter

Mount Jessmore

We'll leave that to Brian!!!

Actually, the play on words was unexpected.

No offense intended!

Miss Ya!

I MISS EVERYONE!!!

LOVE, JESS

EEK!

Photo Shop 'n' Crop me..I want to see some creative things here people, but play nice.

Since I will be unemployed as of May 26th, 2006, and my nerves are begining to become frayed, frazzeled, scarce, insaine...I will recite a song that I know and love that you might find amusing to your sensibilities as do I:

Ohhhh,

Why do I need a job?
Why do I need a job?

My girlfriend's a stripper from Abaline.
She likes me to stay home and watch TV.
She likes to be rude.
I eat all her food.
She undresses her friends for me.

Soooo,

Why do I need a job?
Why do I need a job?

Yellow and Red Light Superstitions

I was a freshman in high school when I was riding with my neighbor and my sister to school. On the way there, he went through a yellow light, and he lifted his hand, swiped it along his roof and on the way down, tapped the dashboard , and he put his hand back on his side, and proceeded to drive like nothing was off or wierd. I wondered, and asked my sister later on. I was new to high school and didn't want to ask someone who would later become the quarterback for the high school team, Mark Eldred, in case a few of you are wondering.

Anyway, my sister told me it was a superstition, a good luck thing. If you go through a yellow light, you swipe your hand and tap the board for good luck, "So what about a red light?", I asked her. "You kiss your hand and tap your behind." I laughed in confusion. "Why?" "You kiss your ass goodbye! Hope you don't get pulled over!"

Since that day, I eventually adopted the absurd gesture for luck purposes. Some of you have seen me do it. Why rely on luck and superstition? Did you not read the reply to Bo's post where I layed out my driving record?

So what would I do in the picture above?

Furtunate....

Ive lived in Houston for 5 years now and still haven't been pulled over for anything. I drive fast, I run yellow/red lights, I use to Litter and drive with open container all the time. My inspection sticker was out for almost a year at one time. And I over accerlerate when the lights turn green because my hemi is bad ass. So I have not had the opportunity to to help any cops pay for donuts. Knock on wuud .How about you guys....?

Happy Mother's Day

to all your Mother's people!

(And to me! I don't know if being a step-mother qualifies me for this holiday, but I will take it on a technicality.)

Love and happiness.

Slow ticking at Stonecrossing

1:16 am
Watching "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" on TBS, don't think I'll make it through the movie. Not tired, not sleepy. Hungry but too lazy to go get anything and nothing tempting my tastebuds here. Thinking about my lazt night and crazy day.

1:16 am - last night
Watching "Mischief" - it was on cable, and they showed nudity. Cable has changed. Working on files for Taste Your Emotion website, but intervenously - whatever that means. I really should be in bed.

3:10 am - I think I fell asleep around this time.

6 am to 8 am - normies waking up and going to work. I'm dreaming again. lotta dreams lately.

9:30 am - this morning
woke up. Gotta finish the site. Showered. Out of shampoo, out of soap. Got out the laptop and began working on the background on the site. trying to draw an original background that still looked semi-professional. Wanted the rosey type background below but settled for rain background.

Rosey






Rain






11:50 am - I'm leading the meeting, but there is a newcomer so I'm saved.

2 pm - Met client

6:30 pm - Left clients' apt. Turned down eating with him and his wife because I m stressed, I've been staring at a screen for the last four hours. Tried to make it to night meeting, after calling Bo multpile times, I avoided calling him one more time to ask the street address as I walked back and forth down the street in a daze. I'm too out of it, screw it, I went home.

7:30 pm -
Spaghetti noodles with out pasta suace - just used a little oil, some italian seasoning, and a lot of parmesan with four pieces of garlic toast.

8 pm - full and tired. cleaned house.

9 pm - tired aad losing focus. vision is blurry, I can't read the tv guide that well. gotta a lot of stuff to do these next days, I should crash early, maybe read some.

10 pm - screw reading. I'm hungry for something sweet. Screw it, I'm gonna crash by 11 pm.

11 pm - Oh, look, "That 70's show"! I'll watch this and crash!

12 am - Oh, look, "Seinfeld"! I'll watch this and crash. I hate 2nd wins. Why do they call it a win, if you're losing sleep?

1 am - Fast Times at Ridgemont High! Cool!, I'll watch this and crash.

1:05 am - (Smoking outside) I miss the blog, I write this blog and crash. God, I'm only the biggest procrastinator ever! Geez! Napolean Dynamite, what a classic!


1:44 am - SHIT! SLEEP, ASSHOLE, SLEEP!
I'll finish this, have a smoke, and crash!
Man, I can't believe I'm posting this shit up for people to read!

Y'all have days like this?


1:45 am - commiting to the smoke and crashing. 45 minutes into movie, and I haven't seen any tits, dissapointed. What the hells' the big deal with this flick anyway? Turning off TV.


Check out the new site, http://www.tasteyouremotions.com!

Latest Project Done

Hey everyone, been bust finishing my latest site.

Check it out!

http://www.tasteyouremotions.com

It is a re-design of the clients original site. If you want to see the type of prgress, go to his other site,

http://www.tasteyouremotions.net

Next I am finishing up some logo work, then who knows what.

Talk to yall later!!

I think there is a market for this.......

Tipos felices de cinco de mayo ..........

Blogless

Hello, Hello, Hello?....

Is there anybody in there?

Hey You....

Can you feel me?

Swimming in a fish bowl,

...What have we found?





(Waters)

29 on the 29th

Happy Birthday Brian!!! I hope its a good one, even though you didn't get any presents...I could break out the whipped cream I guess...but that's for discussion on another blog site. HaHa.

Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Temporarily Cell Phone Loss

Sorry folks, my cell phone was cut off. I hope to restore service sometime between Saturday and Monday. Brian, if I can't restore service by saturday, happy birthday man!

Everyone: here is my other contact info:

Home Phone: 713-952-1493
Work Phone: 281-820-4900

My schedule is somthing like this:
Wed - Work until 4:30 pm. At a meeting from 7 pm til 9 pm.
Thu/Fri - Home till 11 am, Work from 2 pm til 11 pm
Saturday - Work from 10 am til 11 pm

Hopefully my paycheck will be big enough to restore my phone and Sprint services will be avail at that time. If not, I'll let you know my hours etc on Sunday/Mond.

Anyone got a buck?

PS - All this is my doing, I'm learning my lessons the hard way.

dead cell

Is it just me or is Brad's cell phone dead??

Ehem. I can't frickn' sleep!

Why is it that when you open a box of macaroni, it's only half full? Yeah, yeah....it's like the bag of potator chips where they put air into the bago to keep them from being o'crushed and they settle down down. I get it with the whole spacial volume and physics thing, but like with all the technology they have today, you would think they would like figure out a way to fill the box of macaroni without it like settling into half a box by the time you like get it home...or maybe they want you to think you're getting a full box of macaroni, when it really, oh yes, is only half a box. Da da dahhhhh. It still bothers me a little when I like open a new box of macaronI and it's like half empty. (And yeses, I am the glass (or box in this case) is half empty kinda girl despite my earlier comment on the box of macaroni being only half full, thptttt!) Did any of you get that?! Then read it again you budonkadonks! Hellooo!?!

Check the Pizza then!


Thppttt!

Hey Brad....

Has anyone else noticed that when you post a comment now that it doesn't show them?

Rhetorical Ponderance About Things

I hate things. How is it that we, not that I mean to generalize and sterotypically lump sum us by using the preposition we, but how is it that we, rather I, tend to forget to be grateful? We, oh sorry, I meant to say I...I have this tendancy to forget how grateful that I should be, but life's struggle has a way of imposing itself upon my memory. Things could be worse for me and I know this, we all do, yet being thankful is hard work...who wants to work hard? O.K., so most people have the desire to work hard to be grateful...but the things I've seen in my life...the things that I've been through, horrible things. Things that most people who know me and love me do not know. It can make one tired. Tired of things. And life has a way of hurting all the time, leaving tiny cracks that slowly turn the foundation of hope and faith into ruin. Dramatic? Maybe. Nonetheless, it is my truth. The truth that I carry around with me in my heavy heart. I cannot escape. My burdens will not leave me alone so that I may repair the cracks to have peace, alas. The pain does not subside to allow the light I cannot see shine upon my face with warmth, caressing my brow with its tenderness, offering hope. And yet sometimes, somedays, I can feel that light, just as if a whisper of suggestion races by but is quickly forgotten again. A serene dream you can almost remember, but then fades ever so gently away into nothingness. How is it that I cannot find the strength or courage to let go of these truths, and find all the things in this world for which to be grateful?

Tic Toc Goes the Baby Clock

So I'm on the internet searching to find something interesting to read...and the question came across me as to why we, as women, want to have babies. I mean its obvious why, but I wanted to really know why. What happens in the brain that drives us toward reproduction and the emotional urge to have babies? What constitutes that biological clock that they say tics to create those urges? And why some women do not experience that desire at all. Why, why, why? So I began to Google it. Instead of finding a legitimate site to really answer any of my questions...I will have to go to the library I guess...I came across this link instead and thought it was kinda amusing enough to share with the masses. I know you boys don't want to hear about us girls wanting babies...But isn't the baby in the pot so cute? *emotional urge to have babies coming on* What is that?!

(The following link has little relevance, yet uncanningly a benevolent comminality to the above subject matter in comments posted. You have been advised. But be advised that I don't know what I just said. Thank you and good day. I said goodday!)

http://www.mwscomp.com/movies/brian/brian-07.htm

Mr. Smart Guy Strikes Again!

You know that guy...the one who has the biggest vocabulary in the room. He has theories about everything and knows more useless information than half the people on your block. This guy has something to say about everything. And anything you say, you are oh so wrong. He is what one might call smart people. (more like an arrogant, narsasistic, egomaniac)

You know, some people are smarter than others. That's fine. But when you walk around throwing what someone says back in their face and call them stupid, that's just mean. Constructive criticism is one thing, but being a know-it-all and flaunting it is another. I am not stupid. My friends are not stupid. I may lack aptitude for certain subjects and live with average intelligence. So I just want a little respect from the smart guy in the room. It is not your job to educate or correct me all the time smart guy!!! I can read.

I think that it takes a genuinely smart person to hang around with average intellects that may be below their own, and not make them feel uncomfortable or stupid. If you are smart and cannot do that, go find smart friends with brains your own size and leave the rest of us alone! Don't you have a seminar to go to or some club or something...geesh.

http://www.scottberkun.com/essays/essay40.htm

http://www.cafepress.com/chickenhead/447103

Stressed You Are?

Stress. A common theme in our lives. We are no stranger to it. Stress can even dominate our exsistance. It seems to have with me, so I have been reading up on what I can do to change my life. This is what I have learned recently:

Stressors induce either fight or flight reactions, but why?
The sympathetic nervous system in your body induces your fight or flight reactions. We focus our attention to react to the stressor or danger toward the outside world to protect ourselves. It is a survival mechanism. So what happens when we as individuals constantly engage our sympathetic nervous system into a fight or flight reaction so that we can survive this chaotic, busy, face paced world? We lose the balance of engaging our parasympathetic nervous system which releases natural endorphins and relaxing chemicals into the body. We become stressed, burntout. The consistant loss of this balance causes chronic headaches, anxiety, depression, addiction, sadness, fear, tension....equivically what we call stress.

Millions face this embalance, so we search to find it through medicating ourselves with antidepressants, painkillers, drugs, sex, food, ect...because these things engage the parasympathetic systems in our bodies and make us feel "better".
But what if we were to learn how to engage this side of our nervous system at a whim, and restore that balance naturally ?

When the sympathetic nervous system is engaged you are at the ready to fight off danger...the stressors in your life...hence, the mind or body cannot relax. Physically the mind chemically will not allow positive thoughts to penetrate because it is preparing you to flee the danger or fight it. For example, your mind says you will die, you will not survive, if you are not ready. So phrases of negativity are prevalent like 'I cannot' or 'I'll never be able..'. We become depressed. When we restore the balance of engaging our parasympathetic nervous system along with the sympathetic, our brains will naturally allow positive thoughts in, along with feelings of calm, hope, happiness, and harmony. We can then become reflective about life instead of constantly and solely being reactive.

So how do we engage the parasympathetic part of ourselves without that prescription for Xanax? Many techniques can be used like becoming aware of your breathing. Concious awareness of your breathing and posture will bring forth a concious awareness of self. This can lead toward engaging those parts of the nervous sytem that will bring balance to stress naturally. Meditating, prayer, excersice, relaxation away from stressors, and diet have been found to enhance engagement of the parasympathetic. What many of you are doing by using the twelve steps in AA are teaching your bodies how to engage your parasympathetic nervous systems naturally through things like prayer and reflection.

We cannot eliminate stress, but we can find a balance that will allow us to cope with that stress more effectively by learning about engaging that parasympathetic part of our nervous systems. And it may be as simple as learning how to breath properly. Look it up. I find this fascinating.

I have a theory.....

Why men don't hear our women talking even when they have our full attention. I know I have gotten in plenty of trouble because of this, and so have most men. Ok, here we go....the fact of the matter is this, men have loud lower pitch voices that carry. We guys like to listen to the radio in the car or always have some sort of back ground noise, most of the time it's music we can tune it out because we really don't care about it. Now, some women are going to say that we don't care about their ideas or thoughts, not true. Women have a higher pitch that are melodious to men like music. It's all about programming and the way men's hearing is programmed from birth. Guys like guns, fireworks, explosions, cars, sports with yelling, and loud stereos. So, the point is guys can, just by the way we were programmed we lose the higher tone voices, a women's voice is like music to a mans ear. So, ladies try to understand that we guys do care what you have to say, but sometimes it's out of our control that we lose your words, AND BY NO MEANS DOES IT MEAN THAT WE AREN'T INTRESTED IN YOUR THOUGHTS AND IDEAS.



Now, this is only a theory. So, don't take me as someone that is a typical man's, man. I am not a man's, man. I have had this problem and I don't have an answer for why, so this could be a reason, or I'm just as full of shit as Brad is.



I'm joking Brad isn't full of shit....but his golf game is.

Sabotage Yourself - Well,...Go ahead no ones looking.

One evening I was talking to my roommate about an honesty situation and he stated that to be honest is important, but to be so brutally honest as to sabotage yourself is another. That word stuck out - "sabotage".

Ladies and Gentlemen, Brad the Matyr.

I flash back thinking about how many times I have sabotaged myself in my "honesty", and also how my silence to avoid honesty has sabotaged myself too. But I think of a few generic realms of sabotage.

1. Women. All honesty or nothing. Know me fully or don't know me at all. That was my "game". My reasoning was how - no why continue a relationship based on lies. So let me drop this one on the ladies. "I'm a 30 year old alcoholic making X amount an hour, (where X=Less than Tolerable), I smoke, don't exercise, don't eat right. I'll date you when I feel like I have the time, but at this time in my life, I am working on my career, you know, something that works. If we start dating tomorrow, we may have to go Dutch, that is unless you want to pay for me? I'm here talking to you because my friends think I need to get laid, and frankly so do I. But you're cute though. In a humble way. I'm sure you smoke too. Those yellow teeth say so. It's not so much ow you look, but more or less, how much I want to get something going. I'll tell you the truth, I think you could be really hot tonight, but I am still a loser, so, uh, nevermind the whole thing. Alrighty now, take care!" - Too honest. Sabotaged. (And no, I don't think that, nor have I ever said anything like that - But you get the point.)

2. Jobs - "Am I qualified? Of course not. Merely. But given somepaid training, I could be in a matter of time. X amount will be good for me as far as paywise. I know you didn't ask, but I thought I should let you know. By the way, I won't be working any overtime, will I?"

Etc, Etc.

I ponder the word Sabotage. I ponder Honest. I ponder Humble. I ponder Success. And I come up with ...

I guess I come up with do the best I can, be as honest as I can, and be a part of something, rather than worry about everything while doing nothing.

Did that make sense? Yeah, I didn't think so either. It's 2 am. I am sabotaging my sleep.

Prayer for the Stressed

A Prayer for the Stressed!

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I cannot accept,
and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people
I had to kill today because they ticked me off.

Help me to always give 100% at work...
12% on Monday
23% on Tuesday
40% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday
5% on Fridays.

And also, help me to be careful
of the toes I step on today
as they may be connected to the butt
I may have to kiss tomorrow.

And help me to remember...

when I'm having a really bad day,
and it seems that people are really getting under my skin,
that it takes 42 muscles to frown
and only 4 to flip them off.

Amen

Roman Numerals....

So, I'm just going to take a quick poll,

who can write the #9 in Roman Numerals?

:-)

I'll explain later

Memories of Easter and a Questionable Tradition of Materialism

Happy Easter everyone!!!

Actually, today, I woke up thinking, "What's the big deal, anyway?" This birthday is celebrating the ... resuurection of Jesus Christ? .... I'm not sure. And before you stone me, let me inform you that some people do not know. Not all people where educated on Christian history. But I didn't write this to dicsuss religion and politics. Although I may hint on it later. Who else grew up hunting Easter Eggs?

Some of the best Easter Egg hunts, in my memory, occured in our house,, during our later childhood. By that time, we were old enough to reach everywhere, and smart enough, arguably, to look anywhere.

The most memorable spots came form my dad, who had the egg hunt down to a process, a comidic art even. Here are the most memorable places we found eggs on our hunts.

1. In the toilet - The first year it was classic! It became an occasional hiding place, but needless to say, that one went straight to the trash, after being fished out with a glove or net or hanger.

2. In the kitchen sink - I mean in the sink, in the disposal, not visible to the human eye. You had to put your hand in the disposal. Just don't turn it on. And don't forget about it either.

3. Under Mom's shirt. - Let's save that one for therapy.

(Man, I had better ones than these, but as soon as I started writing this, they vanished. So these last few might be weak.)

4. I dunno know - I quit.

I'm sure y'all got some classic places.

You're too old for That!!
I loved hunting for eggs. It was right there along with Christmas and Halloween. I knew, like Christmas and Halloween, it all changes once you get older. But I had a lot of that joy come back living with Brian and Jess, and hanging with the Sunday Night crew. Jess and Brian, remember the egg hunts? OK, before I end this, most of you have heard the Easter story, but a few have not. So, here it is.

Easter Eve, 2003 or 2004, and I worked that night because it was a Saturday. I came home and hung out some, I think I probably beat Brian at Tiger Woods golf or something. Anyway, Jess and Brian crashed out (AKA - gettin busy in the other room). It was around 2 am, and I got an itch to pull out some type of prank. I wanted to have Easter Baskets out for them when they woke up. I would get them some candy, and do something funny like put the Playgirl in Brians, and the Playboy is Jessica's. I drove around but everything was closed. So I gave up, tired. I wake up in the morning and opened my door. Damn! They did it.

In the basket at my door was a Playboy - Tori Wilson form WWE (Still have it) - and other stuff including, finger puppets, and a big bottle of Cocoa Butter. Classic! Before I go, let me remind you two, who were the ones used that bottle of Cocoa Butter!

Aah, Easter in immature land. Hey, I'm like a Toys-R-Us Kid, I don't want to grow up. So fuck off! Happy Easter you cocksuckers! Have fun!

What to write...

What could I write?

What could I write? - Even to follow up Bo's Box of Wheaties - A sure retalition of something I said.

I came home and I sit here in my chair and check the blog. I'm somewhat content because in the first time in a while, I came home not feeling sick.. For a month or so, it seemed like I always felt sick. I explored it and went to the doctor. Stress was a major factor. So today, i should feel reall sick, but for some reason, I feel okay. Even a little hungry

The last 36 hours, I've been stressing about some serious financial issues. Realizing I had brought all my problems about myself, I couldn't be too pissed at the bank for the $320 in overdraft charge recently. I was left with depression, realizing all my problems arise out of myself. Sometimes, that realization really sucks ass and depresses the crap out of me. I'm getting closer and closer to just trying to resolve the problem and move on becasue I have to. But inside, my gut tightens and I lose my appetitie, because - hey, gues what, I fucked up once again. You know how tired I am of a little success being followed by a little failure? By a catharsis of happiness, being followed by a pit of dispair? By a moment of recognition being followed by a feeling of isolation?

Today, I saw my sickness, took my medicine and swallowed my pride and self pity, and did the next right thing. My feelings of doing right, don't always come right away. But I'm sure they will.

So there it is folks. Brad finally opens up the opportunity for someone to yell, "Check The Pizza!!" And I know, some of you insensitive bastards will! Can't you see I'm in pain!!
Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo!!

(Runs off cryining like a ... a uh .... little gym girl! .... a balding, little gymnist ... girl ......?)

What's everyones' thought on this idea???

Before Brad decides to remove his pic: Should he or should he not; superimpose that picture over a box of Wheaties??? (**I would totally think that's the chit!)

Embrace something good or Fear the bad ?

So, things seem to be getting better in my life....Today, I rode around with my GM and she thinks I did a good job ( at least I hope she did). When we got back to the office, she gave me a key and the alarm code!

I know I should be happy and maybe HOPE that they will hire me . I'm paying on some of my bills and I've made a few new friends, so should I embrace that?

As I stated in an earlier blog post, whenever I do start feeling good, life seems to sit on my face and let out a big fat turd!! (Ok, i didn't say exactly that, but you get the gist of it). I'm scared that if I do embrace it, something will blow up in my face (i.e., my car). Yes, I know, I shouldn't think that and I shouldn't have chosen my car....but anways.......

What to do? *sigh*

... I'm to never work for a suicide hotline - So I'm told...

Monday afternoon started out normal; with the blue sky, slight breeze, and hot lunch as I arrived to work. Like clockwork, I hunt down the Houston Chronicle and flip through the pages to Sudoku (in training to defend my title with "Underwear" Haines). Not even five minutes within arriving to work I was pestered by the stomping of the left foot to the floor by my co-worker (**we'll call him Alfonso to protect his identity). Alfonso: "What's goin' on, woman?!" Suzy: "Not a damn thing. I heard you announced you lost your wedding band to your wife." Alfonso puts his head down as he shuffles back to his office. Meanwhile, I continued to complete Sudoku in about fifteen minutes, and thought to myself - "Man, that's bad. It's only a level one!" I took a moment to make sure things were squared away in master control, before stepping out to "toss the shit" with Alfonso in his office.
So there he was - slumped in his chair, with his legs kicked up on his TV stand watching "Divorce Court". Suzy: "So what's up dude, how are things going for you?" Alfonso: "Man, my life sucks. I'm broke and I ain't got a car." Suzy: "Dude, you own a house and your car's in the shop!" Alfonso: "Yeah." As I made my way through to his desk, I then asked to use his internet and logged on to whitepages.com. Alfonso continues, "Man, I can't wait for this life to get over with." I looked over to the left of his computer and spotted the photo of his wife. Suzy: "Yeah, I imagine the ol' lady was pissed..." Alfonso: "A good thing she was gone all weekend, so I didn't have to hear all that." Suzy: "Sooo... that ring costed something around 2 grand?" Alfonso: "You know something, Suzy? Don't you ever, EVER work for a suicide hotline!" I immediately put my hands to my face and burst into laughter. I went on the say in my early college years, and had considered it, but knew it just wouldn't work out. Alfonso: (as the hotline boss) "Umm... Suzy the suicide numbers have increased, we'd have to let you go..." Suzy: "Either that, or the assault charges would increase. Don't put up with abuse, man - get even!"

The end.

Lame, huh?

Who is your celebrity match?

Body: Go to this site http://www.jokesandhumor.com/tests/celebrity-love-match/love.html and take the quiz to find out which celebrity would be your best match. then post who your match is. try it out, it's fun.

Matt - Sheryl Swoopes (I'd rather take one of my alternates...nicole kidman or ashley judd)

The Art Of Monday

This morning- I woke up, see-sawed myself out of bed, stretched my legs for about 7 seconds & took the first step of my day. Upon making it to my bedroom door, I had a slight moment of feeling bloated but when I let out that first initial blast of manly perfume, I felt better. Hell, I found myself walking better! Anyway...

As I'm walking down the hall, I notice the aroma of something strange. I thought to myself, "That...can't be me". It wasn't, it was one of my Cats' just stepping out of the Cat box with one of those classic "WTF" looks on her face. "Lindsay?!", I said. "Light a match, why don't ya'!", & she replied by throwing her tail in the air as she'd walked away from me. By the time I was done with my early-morning routine of getting myself ready for work, I just knew this was gonna be a slow day. Even getting online to check mails & blogs had posed itself to be a challenge. Was I drained, already? I got plenty of sleep last night, I think...'specially since I'd been all alcohol'd up yesterday at my cousins. That shit was great, though!

Now, I'm home from work & although I find it harder to type the books I used to, I'm here creating this blog post, trying NOT to seem like the little man on a Totem Pole. Many thanks to the moderator or...whatever you call them, these days, for inviting me. But the point of my pointlessness is that I wanna find out if it's just me or if Monday's really ARE the worst days of the week. It seems like they go so slow, for me. Are there any others feeling the same way?