A dire impetus to write something adoringly clever and overtly witty has come over me like the mustard being spread over my Mrs. Baird’s hamburger bun with its tangy neon brightness, (eat your heart out Mr. Robbins). Whether it’s the lack of societal interaction with other human beings, or a new found proclivity towards manipulating the written word inspired by my recent literary escapade with Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates, or just a desperate attempt to attract the attention of you yahoos, invariably I cannot say with absolute certainty which is responsible. So, for now, I will blame my motivation for this hooey prose on the 25 original jazz classics capturing the swing, sweat, and soul of Kansas City CD playing on my jukebox. What can I say? The music moves me. Rather than bombard you with examples to prove my points, I will just spit out my defense supporting the characteristics of LSE. And without further adieu, I bestow upon to you my intransigent theory of Low Self Esteem.
You are only as strong as you are weak, and one who has never experienced a dip in their esteem pool can't fully be trusted.
Does feeling powerless and demeaning your own talents = LSE? Most annoyingly, humility can be mistaken for self-loathing, for I always hope to still feel small by the ocean and triumph quietly in my successes without inflating my ego with hoity-toity self praise. Disgusting.
As part of the human condition, experiencing a full blown self esteem deficit can lead to a powerful source of strength and wisdom, and lavishly presents a bonified learning adventure. Needless to say, it is just good clean fun.
Then there are the experts who proclaim those with LSE express a narrow range of emotions. Posh! I blatantly disagree with this hogwash as the phenomenon of low self esteem has been correlated with low life satisfaction, defensiveness, easy frustration, loneliness, anxiety, resentment, irritability and depression. Quite a range if you ask me!
Avoiding situations that provoke anxiety is supposed to be a charachteristic of low self esteem and that, my friends, is what Paxil is for.
Nothing gets under the skin of a delusional optimist like a chigger in Texas better than a proficient, pessimistic cynic who knows how to face their own flaws with a blueberry mojito and a smile.
Being easily influenced by others is experienced by LSE'ers...not everyone can be a leader people.
A bout with LSE is the ultimate rejection of living in denial. Yes, the sun always rises, but it does not always warm the soul. To reiterate, I present time honored clichés: Mainly, the grass is truely greener on the other side of Dorthy's rainbow and hindsight still is 20/20, despite the development of the ever becoming popular lasik.
Finally, and I know you are all so sad this is coming to an end, feeling that others do not value you as a person...well, in all honesty no one really gives a damn! In all honestly, the world does not revolve around little ol' you.
The defense rests. And so I bid an insidious farewell and gooday...I said gooday!
*Discalimer* The values and beliefs presented herein notwithstanding hereby does not represent an invitation to take one ounce of anything I say, have said or will say with any one ounce of cottin' pickin' sincerity. Offense taken to any of the above provides that you are just plain dumb.
