Friday, March 31, 2006
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Happy birthday, old man!!
Hey Old man!! Where are ya hiding??? Be glad that you and Suzy couldn't get off from work the same day, otherwise, you'd probably be in troublethis evening!! Hope you have a good one!!
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Must Like Hotdogs
You can make alot of
money in the sport of competitive
eating through winning the
variety of competitions across
the country and even the world.
You should think about it Matt.
I was watching a show last
night on eating competition,
and these guys make big money.
You have to train and know
what your'e doing, but there are
numerous associations and
organizations you can join to
get into it like the one above.
Then instead of a plastic candy
machine belt, you could walk away
with thousands in prize
money and a real trophy.
Must like hotdogs though.
All quiet on the western front
But around there is a war going on. A war of ego and humility. Comparison and acceptance. Anger and tolerance. Love and hate.
On our own, we cannot survive as much as we hate to admit. The war is won by the army and not the general. In the game of Risk, it's all about the numbers. The army wins the war.
Throughout my life, I have been an army of one. At my destruction, in my desperation, I found the rest of the battle. Men and women; strangers; offered me a hand out of the trenches and carried me to safety. They loved me and had never seen my face. They knew what I could accomplish without looking at my accomplishments. They knew this, and loved me from what they learned.
What they learned is that they believed becuase others believed. And the others that believed seemed content, and at peace. They, themselves, even in moments of war, knew contentment and peace. Even in war, which I had always envisioned as every man, woman, and child for themselves, they overcame chaos and complexity and repeated, "Take my hand, I'll show you this safe place I found."
What choice did I have but to follow them. They didn't appear as the enemy, and I was in the trench with two choices, insanity or death. In our moments of loss, we may make our greatest decisions. When we got to a safe place, they said,"You have arrived. You'll be safe here until you continue on with your journey. " I asked them, "You're leaving me?" They replied, "That man over there is in trenches, we go to help him, because someone pulled us out in the same manner. We'll be back again."
I sat quietly and looked back to where I came from. I realized many of the battles I fought weren't real. I realized I did have some real battles to overcome. The war is not over, but I have ceased fighting my battles, and I am walking out on the battlefield to find others in their trenches, so I can help them as they helped me. If I leave you, I may be in the trenches again. I may be on the battlefield helping others. Or maybe you are in the trenches and I can't find you.
On our own, we cannot survive as much as we hate to admit. The war is won by the army and not the general. In the game of Risk, it's all about the numbers. The army wins the war.
Throughout my life, I have been an army of one. At my destruction, in my desperation, I found the rest of the battle. Men and women; strangers; offered me a hand out of the trenches and carried me to safety. They loved me and had never seen my face. They knew what I could accomplish without looking at my accomplishments. They knew this, and loved me from what they learned.
What they learned is that they believed becuase others believed. And the others that believed seemed content, and at peace. They, themselves, even in moments of war, knew contentment and peace. Even in war, which I had always envisioned as every man, woman, and child for themselves, they overcame chaos and complexity and repeated, "Take my hand, I'll show you this safe place I found."
What choice did I have but to follow them. They didn't appear as the enemy, and I was in the trench with two choices, insanity or death. In our moments of loss, we may make our greatest decisions. When we got to a safe place, they said,"You have arrived. You'll be safe here until you continue on with your journey. " I asked them, "You're leaving me?" They replied, "That man over there is in trenches, we go to help him, because someone pulled us out in the same manner. We'll be back again."
I sat quietly and looked back to where I came from. I realized many of the battles I fought weren't real. I realized I did have some real battles to overcome. The war is not over, but I have ceased fighting my battles, and I am walking out on the battlefield to find others in their trenches, so I can help them as they helped me. If I leave you, I may be in the trenches again. I may be on the battlefield helping others. Or maybe you are in the trenches and I can't find you.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Ticketmaster
So Kenny Chesney tix went on sale this morning at 10 a.m.. I was up and ready to go on my computer at 9:50 to get the first available tix. As soon as it hit 10 a.m., i got to the order screen and went through all the b.s. screens, only to come up to "Sorry, we cannot process your request at this time"
WHAT THE FUCK???
So, I try again. When I pass all the b.s. again, it says, your wait time is approx 2 mins....we will update your wait time...
your wait time is approx 3 mins
your wait time is approx 4 mins
your wait time is approx 5 mins
WTF?? It's only been 30 secs since the last time i tried.....
So, being the 'genious' I am, I go ahead and open up another browser and try again. So, I have wait times of 6 and 10 mins.
The first page with the 6 mins wait time finally counts down....
(next page) We're sorry, we have detected that you have multiple browsers open to buy tickets. We are unable to process this request....
FUCK!!!
So, I click on the other window...the time is still 10 mins....so, i go out to the kitchen and grab a drink. The wait time is now 8 mins....then 6, then 5.....then 6 again!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....................
Finally, I get through and get the tix....and have an extra $11.40 for each ticket.
What bastards....
WHAT THE FUCK???
So, I try again. When I pass all the b.s. again, it says, your wait time is approx 2 mins....we will update your wait time...
your wait time is approx 3 mins
your wait time is approx 4 mins
your wait time is approx 5 mins
WTF?? It's only been 30 secs since the last time i tried.....
So, being the 'genious' I am, I go ahead and open up another browser and try again. So, I have wait times of 6 and 10 mins.
The first page with the 6 mins wait time finally counts down....
(next page) We're sorry, we have detected that you have multiple browsers open to buy tickets. We are unable to process this request....
FUCK!!!
So, I click on the other window...the time is still 10 mins....so, i go out to the kitchen and grab a drink. The wait time is now 8 mins....then 6, then 5.....then 6 again!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....................
Finally, I get through and get the tix....and have an extra $11.40 for each ticket.
What bastards....
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Your Cup o' Joe - My Nestea and biscuit.
In response to the cup of joe story. Liked the story. I remember those days.
Tonight I came home, just now, and heated up a sausage biscuit and opened a Nestea - what else would I be drinking. I turned on the PC and got ready to do a few things before I got ready for my stressful day tomorrow.
I am meeting a website client on Monday morning to sell her on using my services. I got a lot to do to prepare for that in the next 36 hours. As I sat down, I remembered how a few nights ago, I sat down here with Coke on ice, in a glass and got in my pattern.
My thought was, this is my adult routine. Some people have coffee or tea. I have Coke on ice, Nestea out of a can, or orange juice in the morning as I read my emails and 28 blogs. I have finally accepted there are some good things about being an adult. My dad used to drink coke on ice, (or was that coke and scotch?), and he'd have his routine of doing his bills at his desk. Meanwhile, us kids would come in and bug him - anything to avoid homework or boredom. Every once in a while, we'd go in there and he'd shut the door. Crap, that's when we knew we did something wrong. But most times, it was cool to see him in his spot - organizing, working. I wanted to be that responsible some day. I wanted bills. Hey, I was a kid, and I said I "wanted" them. Don't now. Here I am doing my nightly routine, and I have responsibilities as I wanted. As I am sitting here, accepting my adulthood, thinking life can be okay when you're an adult, I read the Cup of Joe blog and what hit me the most, was the Saturday morning cartoons, and waking up at the butt crack of dawn. Man, did that bring me back instantly!
And kids, they are the best way to lighten up our serious minds. Lance has done a few things and Harrison has done a few things, and now Avery is doing a few things. I remember when I drank, a few times, those moments with kids, including Abby, would slap me in the face to sober up. A few times I'd be really hungover and wanting to either sleep, die or drink more, and I'd be on the couch, slouching. I'd see the innocence and happiness of a kid, and think, "What kind of person would I be if those smiles didn't affect me. I could continue destroying myself in self-centered sorrow and ignore the happiness of kids, dogs, couples, nature, ... life. Or I could sober up and maybe be willing to be happy, and care free for one day as they are. "
Thanks for the story, it reminded me that though I have finally come to accept my adulthood and responsibilities, there is still that 6 am innocence that lingers on somewhere inside of us. We wouldn't see so much warmth and joy in them if we didn't have it in ourselves somewhere. Kind of the, "It takes one to know one" philosphy. I think that applies to all of us. Even a KillJoy!
Tonight I came home, just now, and heated up a sausage biscuit and opened a Nestea - what else would I be drinking. I turned on the PC and got ready to do a few things before I got ready for my stressful day tomorrow.
I am meeting a website client on Monday morning to sell her on using my services. I got a lot to do to prepare for that in the next 36 hours. As I sat down, I remembered how a few nights ago, I sat down here with Coke on ice, in a glass and got in my pattern.
My thought was, this is my adult routine. Some people have coffee or tea. I have Coke on ice, Nestea out of a can, or orange juice in the morning as I read my emails and 28 blogs. I have finally accepted there are some good things about being an adult. My dad used to drink coke on ice, (or was that coke and scotch?), and he'd have his routine of doing his bills at his desk. Meanwhile, us kids would come in and bug him - anything to avoid homework or boredom. Every once in a while, we'd go in there and he'd shut the door. Crap, that's when we knew we did something wrong. But most times, it was cool to see him in his spot - organizing, working. I wanted to be that responsible some day. I wanted bills. Hey, I was a kid, and I said I "wanted" them. Don't now. Here I am doing my nightly routine, and I have responsibilities as I wanted. As I am sitting here, accepting my adulthood, thinking life can be okay when you're an adult, I read the Cup of Joe blog and what hit me the most, was the Saturday morning cartoons, and waking up at the butt crack of dawn. Man, did that bring me back instantly!
And kids, they are the best way to lighten up our serious minds. Lance has done a few things and Harrison has done a few things, and now Avery is doing a few things. I remember when I drank, a few times, those moments with kids, including Abby, would slap me in the face to sober up. A few times I'd be really hungover and wanting to either sleep, die or drink more, and I'd be on the couch, slouching. I'd see the innocence and happiness of a kid, and think, "What kind of person would I be if those smiles didn't affect me. I could continue destroying myself in self-centered sorrow and ignore the happiness of kids, dogs, couples, nature, ... life. Or I could sober up and maybe be willing to be happy, and care free for one day as they are. "
Thanks for the story, it reminded me that though I have finally come to accept my adulthood and responsibilities, there is still that 6 am innocence that lingers on somewhere inside of us. We wouldn't see so much warmth and joy in them if we didn't have it in ourselves somewhere. Kind of the, "It takes one to know one" philosphy. I think that applies to all of us. Even a KillJoy!
Bananas are the number one selling fruit.
Bananas were introduced to America in 1876.
Bananas grow on giant herbs rather than trees.
Banana leaves can extend up to 30 feet in length.
Beer can be made from bananas.
There are over 500 different types of bananas.
The average person consumes an estimated 33lbs of bananas annually.
Bananas are considered natures remedy for many illnesses.
Bananas have 4 times more protein than an apple.
The peel of a banana can be used to remove a splinter.
The peel of a banana peel can be thumbtacked to the underside of your bosses chair in hopes that a colony of giant green gnats form so every time he sits down, a cloud of bugs will swarm him in his office...is this unethical...should I take down the banana peel my co-workers put under his chair?
Cup O' Joe?
The stresses of everyday life are taking its toll upon me. My looks are showing the wear and tear of my age, my body is tired, and my head hurts... again. I have to move to a new city soon, pack this entire apartment by myself, start making 'mortgage' payments on my new car, oh and get a new job in the city. Not to mention, start a full semester at UMKC in the fall, yadayadayada. We all know these types of 'adult' stressors that plague the happiness in our hearts and crush our inner child into submission to eliminate all fun from our lives. That is why there are the so called sex addicts or any kind of addict for that matter...it's the only fun thing left to do after you 'grow' up.
That said, there is nothing like the heart of a child to lift these burdens and melt them away. My eight year old step-daughter managed, yet again, to awaken my inner child, warm my heart, and bring me back to the world of fun. Here is my story.
Think back to when you were young and would wake up at the butt crack of dawn while the rest of the house tried to stay in deep slumber. In your pj's, blissfully soaking in the Saturday morning cartoons, you await the day raring to go as any eight year old would. Just as my eight year old did last Saturday, only when she went to turn on the TV as usual, she hit the wrong button. Static, snow, ksshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....BORING! Hmmmm, what could she do to entertain her brain as the sun rises and before the rest of the house awakens?
I can hear the decision in her head playing itself out that would lead to the biggest mess that you could imagine in her Grandpa's kitchen...oh the mess.
Grandpa heard the comotion downstairs and decided to get out of bed to check it out. "Oh dear, what are you doing?" But all he could do was smile at this beautiful mess that his only grandaughter had made just for him.
As proud as she possibly could, she said,
"I made you coffee granpa!!!"
There were coffee grounds everywhere. Water spilled, muddy wet coffee grounds smeared all over the kitchen, no filter in the pot, and beans in the grinder ready to be flung to the ceiling as she pressed the button. Granpa arrived in time for that, but it was so sweet and funny, despite the enormous mess.
She smiled ear to ear, standing in the midst of the huge mess she was unaware she had made. The innocence of her deed warmed me. She had so honestly wanted to do something nice for her beloved Grandfather. That innocence is what I would like to retrieve for just one day and experience the kind of fun that children have everyday.
I will vicariously live through her adventures like this one and allow her to touch my world and bring fun to my inner child.
For you my dear girl, I will have fun and laugh at the coffee grounds on the ceiling.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
100 Posts, 43 Pizzas, 9 Members, and a Partridge in a Pear Tree
100 Posts!! First off, I'd like to thank the Academy! That would be the Academy in Katy, that employs my roommate, so he can bring home money, and help pay the rent, to afford DSL, because dail-up sucked, and I wouldn't have the patience to do this blogging stuff, with the uploading pictures and all, without DSL.
Of course, thank you to all of yall for joining. First Jay, then Brian and Jess, then Susie, then Bri, Matt, Craig, and finally Bo - who is the one who introduced me to Blogger.com in the first place. We've had some classics here on Check The Pizza. And we have had about 43 moments when anyone could have or did yell out "Check The Pizza!". By the Way, if still don't know what "Check The Pizza" means, make sure you're on the right blog, otherwise go back to the archives and read the article. (It's the long one ... with the diagram of a floor plan).
Some memberable posting sessions to me are - let's see;
- Jess's 'Igloos are fun too'
- Brian's Countdowns, Fridge, Fortune Cookie, etc.
- The Original Check The Pizza Story
- KillJoy Rhetoric
- Timmy's Dance Recital
- Peppermint Self Help
- Suzy's Professional Wha?
- This is Me
- Suzy, Suzy, BoBuzy - 20 comments on this one line post!
- The Check The Pizza Point Competition
- Sudoko Master
- Quarters and seaweed
- Jay's Too Much Porn Part I - (We are awaiting Part II!)
- Missouri Slang
- Peer Pressure and Betting: Matts Wagers and Eating Contests
- This Is A No Sex Zone and that related contest
Anyway, thanks for all the good times and good laughs. Check out some other blogs around like Being Pickled - (found off the personal profile of either Bo, Craig, or Brad) and Killjoy_101 (Found off the personal profile of Brian or Jess). Start your own Blog - a journal maybe. (I have one, but it's hidden. It really helps me process the weeks in my head.)
Good Times Yall. Miss Hanging Out as Much. Peace Out!
Eating Contest
So, last night was round 2 of this eating contest. We had to eat 10 wings, including all the side stuff (celery, etc) and also a full plate of chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes and texas toast within 30 mins. To make a long story short, I won by about a second. I haven't felt this sick for a while...of course, I had to be a dumbass a showboat....ended up adding a shot of Patron (which the loser bought) and a couple of cookies. Talk about being bloated!!! Two of the other regs watching this, ended up buying one of those plastic 'championship' belt. Sheesh.....they want to do ANOTHER contest and add yet MORE food, 'for the championship'. I say screw that!! I'll give up the belt. LOL
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Vacation for mua...
Taking a short vacation from the blog if anyone even cares! Ha! Be back soon...spending time with hubby...if you get my drift!
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
How would you react???
Ok, so the other day, someone who graduated from the same high school as me contacts me. This person, I do remember and did speak with from time to time. However, here's the thing, this person is gay. Now, I normally don't care if someone gay talks to me, as long as he's not hitting on me. This person states that 3 other people, also from the same high school and are rumored to be gay, have spoken about me. Should I be worried? Should I write the guy back? This is reallly freaking me out!! A lil help here!!!
This is a no Sex Zone
I won't mention any names here, *ahem* but to the participants of the "No Sex Zone [Contest]"... it's that time of year we dust off those condoms and check for expiration dates! Be sure to throw out the Trojan 2000-2005 series... now they have [for her pleasure Series] to please the special [invisible] lady of your life.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Take 5
Taking a reduction in my blogs, I think I need to be directing more energy into my freelance work. Having real excitement about all the opportunities life has provided me with this past year and this next year. Lot's of personal, professional, and spiritual growth.
The New CTP Point Tally
Again, held to my word and checked up, I missed points on the final score from last week. Even though I showed my hand, I am still awarding the 8 points to Killjoy. But Matt (AKA; Asian Cowboy) won the short contest we had this weekend on sex deprivation.
Love you guys and I'll be around. Looking forward to reading some goos stuff on my spare time.
The New CTP Point Tally
Again, held to my word and checked up, I missed points on the final score from last week. Even though I showed my hand, I am still awarding the 8 points to Killjoy. But Matt (AKA; Asian Cowboy) won the short contest we had this weekend on sex deprivation.
Love you guys and I'll be around. Looking forward to reading some goos stuff on my spare time.
Killjoy_101
The blog is up Killjoy_101. It'smine and I'm in charge come check it out. It's the bitch site where you can go and bitch about what ever is bothering you. Come see it
The next super bowl halftime show should be......
The half time show during the super bowl sucks ass and just about anything would be better than the crap thats been on it the last few years. I think we need to change it up a little. Wouldn't you much rather see something like.....
#1 A live excution of a death row inmate
#2 A super moto cross race
#3 A WWE steel cage title fight
#4 A Fight between Gorge W. Bush Vs. Bill Clinton
#5 A PeeWee football game
#6 A special epsiode of American Idol
#7 A UFC title fight
#8 A stunt show
#9 A firework display
#10 A bull riding contest
I think you get my point anything would be better than see has been groups sing like crap.
#1 A live excution of a death row inmate
#2 A super moto cross race
#3 A WWE steel cage title fight
#4 A Fight between Gorge W. Bush Vs. Bill Clinton
#5 A PeeWee football game
#6 A special epsiode of American Idol
#7 A UFC title fight
#8 A stunt show
#9 A firework display
#10 A bull riding contest
I think you get my point anything would be better than see has been groups sing like crap.
Excuse me Sir, This is a no Sex Zone
So We may have a new point tally game. This is open to everyone - who isn't getting any! Sorry, Jess, Brian, Susie, Bo! I think Everyone Else qualifies! Before you get mad, think: ..... do you qualify?
So who is the worst off? Is it the one with the less chance? Or the one with more failure? Let me sway the judges some. (And I guess the Judges would be all those Getting some - or have gotten any in lets say the last year!)
Last Time I had sex - all of it - Brian lived in KC, Jess lived somewhere in Houston.
Last Time I had sex - all of it - Astros had not yet went to the world series.
Last Time I had sex - all of it - MTV actually played some music videos.
Last Time I had sex - all of it - One color of M&M's had not yet been invented. - I think
Last Time I had sex - all of it - Low Carb Diets were not nearly as big as today.
Last Time I had sex - all of it - we had another president in office.
Last Time I had sex - all of it - 9/11 had not yet happened.
Last Time I had sex - all of it - You could buy gas for less than a $1.50.
Last Time I had sex - all of it - None of my nephews or nieces had been born.
Last Time I had sex - all of it - Survivor was in it's early seasons.
Last Time I had sex - all of it - Jeff Skilling, Ken Lay and Andrew Fastow were selling their employees on what a great company Enron is to work for, we even have 401K and retirement plans!
Next!
So who is the worst off? Is it the one with the less chance? Or the one with more failure? Let me sway the judges some. (And I guess the Judges would be all those Getting some - or have gotten any in lets say the last year!)
Last Time I had sex - all of it - Brian lived in KC, Jess lived somewhere in Houston.
Last Time I had sex - all of it - Astros had not yet went to the world series.
Last Time I had sex - all of it - MTV actually played some music videos.
Last Time I had sex - all of it - One color of M&M's had not yet been invented. - I think
Last Time I had sex - all of it - Low Carb Diets were not nearly as big as today.
Last Time I had sex - all of it - we had another president in office.
Last Time I had sex - all of it - 9/11 had not yet happened.
Last Time I had sex - all of it - You could buy gas for less than a $1.50.
Last Time I had sex - all of it - None of my nephews or nieces had been born.
Last Time I had sex - all of it - Survivor was in it's early seasons.
Last Time I had sex - all of it - Jeff Skilling, Ken Lay and Andrew Fastow were selling their employees on what a great company Enron is to work for, we even have 401K and retirement plans!
Next!
Saturday, March 18, 2006
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I want a recount of the points.
I think there should be a recount of the point total. In one of bh's comments I was promised 8 points if I didn't bring up a certian story, in which I didn't and I wasn't given my 8 points. I need them, I have to win, I win at everything just ask mskitty. Well, bh how about my points and the win for me? Are you going to be a man of your word? Yes I'm calling you out. You may force my hand to reveal the Blue Ball Story.
Fast Mock Flavored Rice
The fastest way to cook mock flavored rice.
1/2 part additions to 1 part rice
butter or oil
Put 1 part rice in pot.
Add enough butter or oil to coat.
Add 2 parts water.
Add 1/2 parts additions.
(You can add any spices, vegetables, or additions you want to make any kind of rice you want.
Bullion cubes add flavor. Fresh herbs do wonders. Tomatoes, onions, and garlic with a little cumin and pepper flakes mocks spanish rice. Frozen veggies like broccoli work with cheese added later. Try red kidney beans, bell pepper, and garlic.)
Once water begins a rolling boil, turn down to medium low heat (2-3) and cover.
Simmer for 15-18 min. (The more liquid you have in your additions go to 18 mins.)
KEEP COVERED AT ALL TIMES!
After timer goes off, remove from heat, and let stand for 5 minutes covered.
Fluff with fork and stuff your face!
Name calling.
I know what you weird people out there are thinking, "What in the hell is this post going to be about?" well, I'll tell you. I have a few names other than my birth name for example; Porn Star(insert joke here), Mr. Killjoy, Mr. Sunshine man, and few others along my life like dick nose, ass hole, and white trash( which I never unstood). So what's my point? Well, in certian company I have come to find out that being nasty and mean to your close friends has come more and more common. Why? Is it all done in jest? After all at least 50% of what you say in jest you really feel. So why is this trend coming about? Is it the product of "CRAP TV" and MTV? I have no idea. That isn't the way I would like to interact with my closest friends and love ones. Granted I do see more with the snot nosed kids these days than anywhere else. How in the world are they ever grow out of it and take their place in this ever decreasing golbal world of ours? I don't see it happening. It's not just the punk kids out there it's grown adults too. For god's sake have you seen how our elected officials act? If you haven't been living with your head in the sand for the last 6-8 months then you have probally heard the pharse "Culture of Corruption" all over the place. Here is my point we don't have a culture of corruption, what is happening is our culture is being corrupted by this anti social genera.
Sitting here as I am.
Sitting here as I am, I am bored. I'm at work for 8 hours and have to wait for 17 people to come and check in. As always, I got all my work done with in an hour of being here and now I have nothing. I'm stuck behind a counter with nothing to do. I check my emails, blog, BS with the van driver, and I don't know what else to do. I do enjoy people watching and I get alot of that done here. It makes me wonder who and what they do while they are here. Some I know about like the people that work with Sanyo and Sprint, they are from Japan and make cell phones. Other people I wonder why they would come here from places like Ca. and Hi., jobs I guess. If I lived in Hi. people would come see me not the other way around. Of course if I lived there i could afford to travel to see friends and family. But oh well. I also get to sit and think on what Jess and I are going to do with our lives. Both of us are going back to school this fall and I'm not sure how everything is going to work out with work, Abby, and school; but it's something I need to do to get ahead. Jess and I are going to be working to open our own B&B after we finish school and work in our fields for about 5-6 years. I love the idea and I have a good idea of how it would work. All of this I'm saying after only working for a hotel for 2 months, but Jess and I are going to research and visit other B&B's while we work and plan for our future together. You see Jess will be an accountant and I'm going to school for Hotel and restraunt management, she'll handle the money and I'll handle the sales and hotel part. While I sit here and soke up my hourly wage by doing nothing work related I often find myself thinking about how we can make this dream/goal come true. The first step is getting back and finishing school. The second would be to know the field by having hands on exp. Oh here is probally the bigest thing get out of debt, and don't go belly up. Anyways, These are a few of the things I ponder while I'm bored at work. I know it sounds so fun to work at a hotel but there is alot of down time, and it is fun to work here. I like people and I don't have to deal with food anymore so that's always a bounse. I really hated being a server. The guest here are nice and very buisness like, so it's great. The only problem I have here is just a small festering one named Audrey, but that's another story. Ok people you can wake up now I'm done. Hello, *CLAP* WAKE UP AND MOVE ON TO THE NEXT BLOG IT'S OK YOU ARE FREE TO GO.
Here have another Coke ... how about a smoke, too?
Pretty Cool Pic Too. It was an art piece that came up when I googled Coke and I plan to go back and check the link tomorrow.My stomach has been bothering me off and on since Sunday. Not that I have done anything to help it. Tuesday morning I did sit-ups and ever since, I have felt tightish in my stomach. Four days now and I'm gettin tired of it. But I'll let you in on my part of it.
Since my stomach has hurt, I have had about 10 sodas, 4 packs of smokes, 5 or 6 Slim Jims, Mexican Food, Pizza, Jack in the Box, and Quiznos. The Quiznos was supposed to be the healthy stuff. Wednesday morning, I walked to Krogers and bought some "healthier" food. I got two apples, two grapefruits, some bananas, and some raisin bread. Something got in my head that I needed fruit. I've eaten a few bananas and a few pieces of rasin bread and the round stuff rests in the fridge! I also have been trying to eat more cereal and drink Milk. Since I never would be caught drinking a straight glass of milk, I have to filter it with cereal (Grape-Nuts) and about 5 scoops of sugar. My stress levels are day to day. With all the free lance stuff and the AA stuff, I always have something I have to do. Then I stay up til 1 or 2 am blogging and push more real stuff to the next day. My pointless attempts at health are maybe amusing to you right-eaters. I'm trying, but I'm open to suggestions. Just like the shoelaces, proper health was something I never took on seriously either. Now that I feel like I'm learining how to live normally, I find it embarrasing to admit these things, but even more so to be this far in life and not know them. Thank God I have no humility anymore and I can ask.
Friday, March 17, 2006
In the car......
Today I woke up around 10am I showered, I ate, and I called the wife on the way to work. I know that doesn't sound like much, but any day I start off talking to the wife is going to be a good day (kisses). However, on the way to work I ran in to traffic. I know it's nothing like H-town but, at least they know how to drive there. But, I digress...as I drove and come up on the traffic slow down a car in the left lane goes flying by at 80mph while everyone else was putting along at a whole whopping 30mph because of construction. Needless to say that guy wasn't watching what was going on. He got about 20 feet before he noticed the car in front of him was stoped.
Now, was it wrong of me for hoping to see a 2 to 4 car pile up right in front of me? In my head I was saying hit it, this will hurt, damn!
Anyways, this car was a red 2002 Grand Am and white tire smoke was building up around the car and at the last second it misses the Benz in front of him by a foot and slams into the concret wall going about 55mph. I was a little bewildered at that. I mean wow, I thought he had no chance of not killing himself and others. My hats go off to the poor bastard for choosing the wall over a car, because you know that had to hurt. Ok so I was a little bumed that it wasn't what I thought would happen. Now, I did see the guy get out of his car on his own power, that's about all I say in my mirror.
However, the *killjoy* to this almost bloody tale is this one simple fact.
As I drove by the car that almost got destroyed I say two babies in car seats in the back of the Benz. My heart broke for my evil thoughts and I'm thankful that they were dashed when the car hit the wall instead. I couldn't imanage how I would feel now if that guy plowed into that car.
Now, was it wrong of me for hoping to see a 2 to 4 car pile up right in front of me? In my head I was saying hit it, this will hurt, damn!
Anyways, this car was a red 2002 Grand Am and white tire smoke was building up around the car and at the last second it misses the Benz in front of him by a foot and slams into the concret wall going about 55mph. I was a little bewildered at that. I mean wow, I thought he had no chance of not killing himself and others. My hats go off to the poor bastard for choosing the wall over a car, because you know that had to hurt. Ok so I was a little bumed that it wasn't what I thought would happen. Now, I did see the guy get out of his car on his own power, that's about all I say in my mirror.
However, the *killjoy* to this almost bloody tale is this one simple fact.
As I drove by the car that almost got destroyed I say two babies in car seats in the back of the Benz. My heart broke for my evil thoughts and I'm thankful that they were dashed when the car hit the wall instead. I couldn't imanage how I would feel now if that guy plowed into that car.
The Saint that Saved Ireland
Ah yes, a day of green beer and
puking in the streets...but just why
do we celebrate this day clad in green?
Saint Patrick...the man who brought
Christianity to Ireland to save the
souls of drunken Irishmen, ya. They
may still be drunk, but at least they
have Jesus. Here's a t-shirt slogan for
you to wear on this festive day:
St. Patrick's Irish drunkenmen for Jesus!
Happy st pats day,
Of all the holidays this is the only one you can count ongreen vomit being present in most citys around the nation,
now im sure you can find it on Xmas or Thanksgiving in a few households like maybe those damn english pees just didnt go down so good. But their is no doubt in my mind, if one of us was all seeing, and gazed into our great nation that every town with a pop of 10,000 or more green vomit
would be flowing freely, and even cheered on occasion.
Now this is only my opinion.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
And The Winner Is ......
Check The Pizza Final Point TallyWell, we jibbed, we jabbed, we put our reputations, our pride and our humility on the line! For one week, we checked the pizza for others with less consideration and we served it up. But only one person, could come out on top. It was close. Mr. Killjoy and Sublime Lust Rose came out with an early lead last week. Queen Briatch jumped out and above. Ms Kitty and Divarsity jibbed, jabbed and gave us a few thoughts. Bo came in late, Jay avoided the whole thing, and BH tried, but being administrator eliminated him from self awarding points. In the end, it was Asian cowboy who climbed up and held on by entertaining us with his food competition stories and making a few jabs. All of that while unemployed for the most part. So Matt, if you thought nothing good came out of unemployment, sleeping in and blogging to your own tune, at least you won - this. Whatever this was. A contest, of some kind. Yeah, good times! Well maybe we'll do it again sometime.
Congratulations Asian Cowboy!!
1st - AsnCwby - 7 1/2 pt
2nd - MsKitty - 6 1/2 pt
3rd - MrKilljoy - 5 pt
4th - QnBriatch - 4 1/2 pt
5th - SublimeLR - 4 pt
6th - Divarsity - 2 pt
7th - Vinny/Jay - 0 pt
8th - Bo - 0 pt
9th - bh11702 - (-3 1/2) pt
Final Update on03.16.2006 at 6:15 pm CST
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Lessons on Wagers
Matt, love the Wager posts. Would Love more to see picsw. Have someone bring a camera with you next time.
As many of you know, I once bet a guy on a hair match. We wrestled and the loser got his head shaved. Save you the suspense, I lost. But it was close. We wrestled for about 10 to 15 minutes on the ground. We had made a deal before with each other where if we got tired, we'd finish it in the pool. So when we got in the pool, we had to hold the other down for 3 seconds. Of course the down side of that is if you're under water you don't hear the count. I thought it was over, but everyone screamed "It's Not Over!!!" when I came up. Cocoa, (Raul was his real name), was leaned over the pool edge tired. I gave him a splash, not with water, the wrestling move - it hurts, especially against the side of the pool. He turned around and almost really got into it with me, but he told him sorry and I thought it was still on. So, I got my head shaved. Enjoy. (I'm submitting this at 9:53 pm - I want some points for this one!!)
I learned my lesson, and also saw what I'd be like when/if I start balding.
As many of you know, I once bet a guy on a hair match. We wrestled and the loser got his head shaved. Save you the suspense, I lost. But it was close. We wrestled for about 10 to 15 minutes on the ground. We had made a deal before with each other where if we got tired, we'd finish it in the pool. So when we got in the pool, we had to hold the other down for 3 seconds. Of course the down side of that is if you're under water you don't hear the count. I thought it was over, but everyone screamed "It's Not Over!!!" when I came up. Cocoa, (Raul was his real name), was leaned over the pool edge tired. I gave him a splash, not with water, the wrestling move - it hurts, especially against the side of the pool. He turned around and almost really got into it with me, but he told him sorry and I thought it was still on. So, I got my head shaved. Enjoy. (I'm submitting this at 9:53 pm - I want some points for this one!!)
I learned my lesson, and also saw what I'd be like when/if I start balding.
wager...
So, the guy that I bet a few weeks ago that I couldn't finish the chicken fried steak, has challenged me again!! I think I can do it again, tho, we're adding 10 wings for an appetizer!! I'm gonna be so full after that.....
So, if I win, he has to buy shots for the both of us!! Not just any shot, tequila shot. And not just any tequila shot, Patron. Yummy!! :-)
If I lose, I just have to buy him a beer!! Damn, I love messing around with kids (he's only 23) LOL
But speaking of wagers, MsKitty. What was our bet? I really don't remember. :-( Damn the senility!!!
So, if I win, he has to buy shots for the both of us!! Not just any shot, tequila shot. And not just any tequila shot, Patron. Yummy!! :-)
If I lose, I just have to buy him a beer!! Damn, I love messing around with kids (he's only 23) LOL
But speaking of wagers, MsKitty. What was our bet? I really don't remember. :-( Damn the senility!!!
Tony Soprano
Tony Soprano has some of the best curses and swears of all curses and swears. Season opens tonight, gotta go, gotta watch.
I know you are a killjoy, but come on!
Killjoy you just need some inspiration. So let's have it guys, what will inspire Mr. Killjoy to give us prose? I know it is in him, and I challenge him to give us something to read that will make us laugh, or cry, or think about the very reason that we exsist. You don't need to be creative to have fun talking to your friends. Here is your canvas, paint boy, paint. Your head isn't empty. Capture a single thought and begin. Be open, be honest, be sincere, and you will not go wrong. Try this...Write about why it is so hard to think of anything to write. Don't think about what to write, just start writing. Then re-read what you have written, correct your mistakes, and re-vise. Bam! It's that easy. Don't argue with me, I know what I'm talking about. Killjoy, just do it! OUP! Zipit! ZZZT! Write!
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
New job
So, I started this job today with the Cinco Ranch Home Owners Assoc.....nice people that work there, but I must say, they are some of the MOST strict people I have ever dealt with! Here's an example:
ALL properties within any Cinco Ranch community have to have at LEAST 2 trees. The size of your property, as well as where your property is located (i.e. corner lot) determines how many trees you must have. One property size states you must have 5 trees on them! Can you believe that?
ALL properties within any Cinco Ranch community have to have at LEAST 2 trees. The size of your property, as well as where your property is located (i.e. corner lot) determines how many trees you must have. One property size states you must have 5 trees on them! Can you believe that?
My problem
So, I'm sitting here in front of a blank screen.... after about 5min I say " Self think of something funny to write, think of something smart."
5 min = NOTHING
20 min = ZERO
40 min = Maybe
1 hour = Damn, what was I doing again?
1 hour 20 min = What the hell I'll just post coments to other people's posts and get my 2 cents worth in that way. Mean while everyone and their mothers come up with something to write at least 2 to 3 times a week, and I can hardly post 1 in 2 weeks so now I feel like my IQ is 50. Ok, so I may not be the most creative person on this blog, but at least I'm here. Screw you guys I'm going home.
5 min = NOTHING
20 min = ZERO
40 min = Maybe
1 hour = Damn, what was I doing again?
1 hour 20 min = What the hell I'll just post coments to other people's posts and get my 2 cents worth in that way. Mean while everyone and their mothers come up with something to write at least 2 to 3 times a week, and I can hardly post 1 in 2 weeks so now I feel like my IQ is 50. Ok, so I may not be the most creative person on this blog, but at least I'm here. Screw you guys I'm going home.
Missouri Slang
O.K., everyone knows that I am a native Texan to the bone, right? Well, aside from my adventurous vacation to Kansas City, MO before I moved to Springfield, I'm starting to really understand the slang. Let's review:
Boogin' -
Something really gross, like a disgusting salad recipie with cow brains in it; or a really skanky fat chick whose butt crack is peeking out behind the thong its swallowed. That bitch is boogin'.
Janky-
An event, situation, or thing that is so jacked up that is incomprehensible. For example, you move into an upstairs apartment, and the floors have pot holes underneath the carpet so deep you could twist an ankle and the wiring is so jacked up the light switch in your bedroom turns on the blender. This floor is janky! Briuzzzzzzzzzzzzlend.
Scketchy-
Although I have heard this before, they use this one here like they are saying 'dude' or something...flaky, wishywashy, questionable, ect...you get the point. Scketchy dude!
You-uns-
Short for you youngins'. This one irritates me all to hell. Thank you-uns. You-uns going' to the movies? You-uns give us a call, hear! Geesh. It's ya'll damnit!
Pop-
Damn yankees, no offense...but I'm sticking to soda...coke...ect...I'm not turning to , "Hey, let's go git a pop at thu Mac Donald's you-uns!"
For real-
I thought this one died in the eighties. Don't get me wrong, long live the eighties! But you should only have the right to use this one if you were out of diapers by the time the eighties rolled over you, for real ya'll! Get your own generational slang teenie boppin' slang stealers.
Motha' F#%ko's-
Enough said.
Lingo-
And Lingo...short for our generational slang termonology. "I've had it up to here with you teenage slang stealers using my lingo!"
Boogin' -
Something really gross, like a disgusting salad recipie with cow brains in it; or a really skanky fat chick whose butt crack is peeking out behind the thong its swallowed. That bitch is boogin'.
Janky-
An event, situation, or thing that is so jacked up that is incomprehensible. For example, you move into an upstairs apartment, and the floors have pot holes underneath the carpet so deep you could twist an ankle and the wiring is so jacked up the light switch in your bedroom turns on the blender. This floor is janky! Briuzzzzzzzzzzzzlend.
Scketchy-
Although I have heard this before, they use this one here like they are saying 'dude' or something...flaky, wishywashy, questionable, ect...you get the point. Scketchy dude!
You-uns-
Short for you youngins'. This one irritates me all to hell. Thank you-uns. You-uns going' to the movies? You-uns give us a call, hear! Geesh. It's ya'll damnit!
Pop-
Damn yankees, no offense...but I'm sticking to soda...coke...ect...I'm not turning to , "Hey, let's go git a pop at thu Mac Donald's you-uns!"
For real-
I thought this one died in the eighties. Don't get me wrong, long live the eighties! But you should only have the right to use this one if you were out of diapers by the time the eighties rolled over you, for real ya'll! Get your own generational slang teenie boppin' slang stealers.
Motha' F#%ko's-
Enough said.
Lingo-
And Lingo...short for our generational slang termonology. "I've had it up to here with you teenage slang stealers using my lingo!"
From Salad to Battle Station
Keeping in lou with the porn references, does this tickle your funny bones fellas...geezsus...you guys are boneheads sometimes. You be storkin' to the east, strokn' to the west, strokn' with the woman, you like best (even if she is the hotel maid, and Brian you had better not get any ideas, its called a ball and chain, honey)...moving on.So I'm searching for a good salad recipie...then I thought, oh wouldn't it be so funny if I could find an awful, repugnant, disgusting recipie to post and gross all ya'll out. Good luck with that! After about five minutes looking for something really gross, I came across this yahus blog titled, Iron Chef Boyardee. Give me a break. I borrowed this pic from the 'iron chef' . Thanks for the gross recipie dude, oh well...I'll make up my own and get back to youns later, skaters.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Woohooo
I probably won't be posting here as much as before, since I now have a job!! :-)
It's a contract position and HOPEFULLY I will be able to get hired on.....wish me luck and keep me in your prayers.
See y'all on the flip side!
It's a contract position and HOPEFULLY I will be able to get hired on.....wish me luck and keep me in your prayers.
See y'all on the flip side!
Where's Our Brave Survivors?!
Brian, Jess, come in. Dem dang tornadoes ripped right true my trailer? Hows' yall doing?
Living in the Midwest, that's gotta be fun. Tornado Alley. I always thought it would be kind of cool to experience a tornado. I think I have experienced a few in my lifetime.
The fist one I remember was when I was a kid and our family was visiting my uncle Around Northern Illinois. We went to some lakehouse. A storm came and we went inside. I remember looking outside the window and seeing the water from the lake rise up. I remember the rattling of the windows and howling winds. Everyone was hunkered down in the corner, watching the storm outside. Not very smart. But the key factor I don't remember is if this was real or a dream. I've asked people before, and they don't remember.
I also remember a few times here. One was when I was living in an apt by my sisters house back in 2002. I was on the NW side that day over by Willowbrook and I was picking up my computer from the PC shop. The skies turned a really dark color and then lots of hail. I camped out in the computer shop for about 15 miuntes waiting for it to lighten up. I recall the hail that day. But I more recall another moment when the skies were the wierdest colors or green. It was like a painting or something. Bizarre.
The last time I was driving home to this apt complex. I forgot which apt I lived in, but I think it was the one with Brian and Jess. My parents were in town, so it must have been eiother Christmas or when one of the kids was born. I was driving home and leaves were blowing around. I noticed they were blowing in circles, I was thinkoing "Oh Crap!". But I was fascinated by it and couldn't peel my eyes off the sights and was entranced in the wind and sounds. As I turned onto Meadowglen off Briarpark, I had a little resistance trying to control my truck. Then it got a littler scary. I made it back and thought about those leaves for a few hours afterward.
So, Jess, Brian? What's the 411?
Living in the Midwest, that's gotta be fun. Tornado Alley. I always thought it would be kind of cool to experience a tornado. I think I have experienced a few in my lifetime.
The fist one I remember was when I was a kid and our family was visiting my uncle Around Northern Illinois. We went to some lakehouse. A storm came and we went inside. I remember looking outside the window and seeing the water from the lake rise up. I remember the rattling of the windows and howling winds. Everyone was hunkered down in the corner, watching the storm outside. Not very smart. But the key factor I don't remember is if this was real or a dream. I've asked people before, and they don't remember.
I also remember a few times here. One was when I was living in an apt by my sisters house back in 2002. I was on the NW side that day over by Willowbrook and I was picking up my computer from the PC shop. The skies turned a really dark color and then lots of hail. I camped out in the computer shop for about 15 miuntes waiting for it to lighten up. I recall the hail that day. But I more recall another moment when the skies were the wierdest colors or green. It was like a painting or something. Bizarre.
The last time I was driving home to this apt complex. I forgot which apt I lived in, but I think it was the one with Brian and Jess. My parents were in town, so it must have been eiother Christmas or when one of the kids was born. I was driving home and leaves were blowing around. I noticed they were blowing in circles, I was thinkoing "Oh Crap!". But I was fascinated by it and couldn't peel my eyes off the sights and was entranced in the wind and sounds. As I turned onto Meadowglen off Briarpark, I had a little resistance trying to control my truck. Then it got a littler scary. I made it back and thought about those leaves for a few hours afterward.
So, Jess, Brian? What's the 411?
Another question
So, I went to a concert last night. It was pretty good, but it was one of those smaller club types that don't give you a chair to sit on if you're close to the stage. If some jackass plows right over you to get to a spot you were just in, is it ok to beat the snot out of him/her?
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Too much Porn? pt.1
So I've been staying at the hotel in Virginia for about three weeks now. As everyone's knows once a day the cleaning crew come around to clean the room and change out the linens. Well like I said before I've been here for a while now and the cleaning lady that comes by only speaks Spanish from what I can tell. You know...Trying to be polite and talk to her. Well, she comes by to clean the room and normally I'd leave go down to the gym or go outside. This time I'm doing some work on my laptop and decided to keep working. I figure that she not going to care and I'm gonna get some more work done.
So my desk is just a few feet from the bathroom door and she's in there grabbing old towels and spraying down the floor to mop it. So I'm working away and didn't realize that she watching me from the other room and like most men we scratch our selves. So she catches me taking care of bushiness and comes over to help me. Before I know it she reaching over to grab me and is brushing her chest across my face. Which is quite nice because she smell incredible and has zipped her uniform half way down with her other hand. She then reaches for my hand and places it inside her top. She's been working for a while so she's a bit warm and moist across her chest. By this point I'm getting a little worked up and starting to turn to stone down in my pants...So to speak. She's seeing this and gets a smile on her facing and pulls me up from the chair to walk into the bedroom...
So my desk is just a few feet from the bathroom door and she's in there grabbing old towels and spraying down the floor to mop it. So I'm working away and didn't realize that she watching me from the other room and like most men we scratch our selves. So she catches me taking care of bushiness and comes over to help me. Before I know it she reaching over to grab me and is brushing her chest across my face. Which is quite nice because she smell incredible and has zipped her uniform half way down with her other hand. She then reaches for my hand and places it inside her top. She's been working for a while so she's a bit warm and moist across her chest. By this point I'm getting a little worked up and starting to turn to stone down in my pants...So to speak. She's seeing this and gets a smile on her facing and pulls me up from the chair to walk into the bedroom...
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Quarters and Seaweed
I have a headache today, not to mention the tight pain wrenching tension spirialing from my neck to my kidney on the entire right side of my body. So maybe I am not exactly in the best of moods at this moment. It will explain my sarcastic cynical tone that I am about to forward in this commentary of my immediate surroundings and experiences of this day.
Sigh. The party jock upstairs neighbor of mine is playing quarters again, albeit not as loudly as usual, my head thanks him for that at least. The ting of quarters and WHOOAOAOAHAHAHAs of missing the liquor filled shot recepticals is really starting to annoy me. Drunken college dudes who have nothing to do at three in the afternoon, other than to annoy me by playing quarters for two hours straight, get on my ever last nerve. So help me if he yacks at two in the morning on the floor that sits on top of my bedroom ceiling one more time.
To drown out this ongoing annoyance of a game that even I have enjoyed drunken participation in many a night, I turn to the sedation of watching television. Nova. Educational, informative, interesting. Further into the program, I realize that the ping of quarters might be a necessary evil for people like jock strap upstairs to survive in a world with such cataclismic...pause...oh frickn' great, the tornado sirens are going off again. Screw it man, if I get sucked up into the sky, I'm not hiding out in the tub anymore. We are all going to die.
Back to Nova. Caulerpa taxifolia, a marine life killing dangerous algea, has been invading the costal waters of the Mediterranian for over a decade. Spreading to coasts around the world at an incredibly rapid rate, it is destroying the ecosystems of costal waters. Now, I am no backpack, sandal wearing enviromentalist by any means, but this problem of taxifolia infestation scares me.
And to top it off...I mean go figure...I should have known... that this killer algea was taken from the wild...harvested by man in labs...genetically mutated...and mass produced for decoration in fish tanks across the globe. A piece of it got into the ocean, and now the coastal regions of the world are in jeapordy. The U.S. has tried desperatly to keep this seaweed like algea from spreading off the coast of California by tarping large areas of growth and washing it with clorine so that it will die.
The questions that arise about genetically tampering with our evironment are worrisome. Should we be altering the genetic structure of living organisms? They do it all the time to food crops like wheat. Whose to say what the consequences will be, but geez, can they lay it on any more thick today.
Ting, hohohohahaha, ting, ting.
Sigh, I wish for inner peace and for this frikin' pain to leave my body.
Late Night Blog #64
Strolling into the weekend, I dragged along.
Another weekend, the same old song.
The same routine, the same old lunch,
The same cheap dinner, I have a hunch.
The same Saturday, the same clock in,
The same hours and clock out again.
Don't be too down,
I'll change it around.
Driving home, I wondered.
My restless mind pondered.
What do I do, what do I say,
What action will get me a different day?
So my friend called tonight, he had renewed some news last week,
A group of us were planning to go out soon and seek,
...Date, whatever.
Eight minute dating get toghether.
Held bi weekly somewhat to that extent,
We planned it before, but noone went.
A date, a companion, a woman, a friend,
Maybe that's what I'm missing again.
It hit me like a ton of bricks, I thought,
It's been years since the last I sought,
Since the last I tried, last I checked out.
Why not do this and check it out?
My mind is open, my expectations - gone.
8 minute dates, one on one.
Funny, just the other day I said I wasn't going to be dating.
And now I'm a little pumped, even anticipating.
A country girl? A brunette, a white, hispanic, a blond?
A black, a redhead, who will come on?
Short, tall, medium, thin?
As soon as I find out more, I'll tell yall when.
Boredom, makes a man poetic,
(So he thinks)
Anyone interested in joining up in this thing?
Primarily Matt and Bri.
Everyone else is hooked up,
Sorry.
Let me know, I gotta go.
Before I rhyme again.
F*ck, I stayed up too late again.
Another weekend, the same old song.
The same routine, the same old lunch,
The same cheap dinner, I have a hunch.
The same Saturday, the same clock in,
The same hours and clock out again.
Don't be too down,
I'll change it around.
Driving home, I wondered.
My restless mind pondered.
What do I do, what do I say,
What action will get me a different day?
So my friend called tonight, he had renewed some news last week,
A group of us were planning to go out soon and seek,
...Date, whatever.
Eight minute dating get toghether.
Held bi weekly somewhat to that extent,
We planned it before, but noone went.
A date, a companion, a woman, a friend,
Maybe that's what I'm missing again.
It hit me like a ton of bricks, I thought,
It's been years since the last I sought,
Since the last I tried, last I checked out.
Why not do this and check it out?
My mind is open, my expectations - gone.
8 minute dates, one on one.
Funny, just the other day I said I wasn't going to be dating.
And now I'm a little pumped, even anticipating.
A country girl? A brunette, a white, hispanic, a blond?
A black, a redhead, who will come on?
Short, tall, medium, thin?
As soon as I find out more, I'll tell yall when.
Boredom, makes a man poetic,
(So he thinks)
Anyone interested in joining up in this thing?
Primarily Matt and Bri.
Everyone else is hooked up,
Sorry.
Let me know, I gotta go.
Before I rhyme again.
F*ck, I stayed up too late again.
Friday, March 10, 2006
Just wonderin....
I'm not posting this just post another blog....I just wanted to make sure mskitty saw this...
So, did your boss throw a fit for his lil bday pj party or did he roll w/ the punches?
So, did your boss throw a fit for his lil bday pj party or did he roll w/ the punches?
Thursday, March 09, 2006
A Band Whose Energy Rocks Me Out!
'purple without red is how I feel'
a lyric by
Bobby Bare Jr.'s Young Criminals' Starvation League
If you ever get a chance to go
see this touring band live,
do it for me . I sure would
like to see them play again,
but they only tour in big cities,
and not so much in the midwest.
They like playing at the
Satellite Lounge downtown
and in Austin on occasion.
Yours truly, Sudoku Master - Insomniac
I don't know what the hell my problem is, in which I can't bring myself to sleep (must be in anticipation of the next 4 days off from work - BTW: THANKS BRAD)... But here I am in the Houston Chronicle's funnies section addicted to "Sudoku" in which I solved this week's 1-3 and found a difficulty level 5 (of 1-5) from last Friday's edition. By some act of Jesus, G/god(s), Buddha, Zeus, or whatever... I solved it in a little under 2 hours. I mean damn, I feel like I skipped a grade here - you know 1,2,3... and 5! That's right, I'm special =D My goofy ass never got my hands on a level 4. So here's to Brad and Matt, who ever solves the puzzle first gets one of Matt's cookies... ENJOY!
Peer pressure and betting.....
So, earlier this evening, I was out at Texas Borders hanging out and having a couple. When I get there, my buddies Sergio and Jim are having a few beers and Sergio brings an intern from his job, Tony, to hang out.
Now, all three are nurses at some hospital out here in Katy. Well, like I said, Tony's an intern. Sergio and Jim are both Hispanic. Sergio's a few weeks older than I am and Jim's in his 40's, I think. Tony is a young buck all of 23 yrs old. Tony is a black guy, young and buff.
When I walk in, Tony's eating a plate of chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes and some Texas toast. After getting a drink and settling on a bar stool, I notice that Tony still hasn't finished his food. Now, granted, he started loading up on carbs (bread n potatoes) before starting on the steak. So, Sergio and I start harrassing him, badly about how much of a wuss he is b/c it's taking him sooooooooooooooooooo long to finish his food. One of the waitresses walks by and she starts dogging him for not finishing. Of course, it's the one he has a crush on!! So, while looking VERY VERY dejected, he marches on like a good lil trooper and finishes all but 1 piece of toast.
Again, Sergio and I harrass him for not finishing ALL of his food. Tony, being fed up with this, looks at me and states, "Man, I don't see you doing this. I DON'T THINK YOU COULD DO THIS!!"
After looking to see what time it was, I accepted his challenge and made a wager (if i won, he'd buy me a drink, if I lost, I'd buy him a big beer glass) that i would not only match him eating (c.f.s., mashed potatoes, and 3 of 4 pieces of texas toast), I would clean the plate, including the extra breadding that fell off of the c.f.s.!!!
Upon hearing this, Sergio attempts to try to stop his young friend from completing the wager. The waitress that he likes comes by and catches wind of the bet. She TRIES to dog me by saying that I couldn't do it. I come back with a wager for her, but she declines and sulks away in shame. :)
I did end up finishing EVERYTHING, just to show off. I even ate a couple of cookies about 5 minues after finishing my food, and a crown n coke!!! That next drink tasted even better.
Of course, about 15 minutes after I finished, the food settled.....ugh....
The moral of the story???:
You should never bet an eating contest against an Asian. We will usually win. Don't believe me? Watch the food network and see how many Asians win!! (i.e. the hot dog eating contest!!)
(click the link below)
:)
Now, all three are nurses at some hospital out here in Katy. Well, like I said, Tony's an intern. Sergio and Jim are both Hispanic. Sergio's a few weeks older than I am and Jim's in his 40's, I think. Tony is a young buck all of 23 yrs old. Tony is a black guy, young and buff.
When I walk in, Tony's eating a plate of chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes and some Texas toast. After getting a drink and settling on a bar stool, I notice that Tony still hasn't finished his food. Now, granted, he started loading up on carbs (bread n potatoes) before starting on the steak. So, Sergio and I start harrassing him, badly about how much of a wuss he is b/c it's taking him sooooooooooooooooooo long to finish his food. One of the waitresses walks by and she starts dogging him for not finishing. Of course, it's the one he has a crush on!! So, while looking VERY VERY dejected, he marches on like a good lil trooper and finishes all but 1 piece of toast.
Again, Sergio and I harrass him for not finishing ALL of his food. Tony, being fed up with this, looks at me and states, "Man, I don't see you doing this. I DON'T THINK YOU COULD DO THIS!!"
After looking to see what time it was, I accepted his challenge and made a wager (if i won, he'd buy me a drink, if I lost, I'd buy him a big beer glass) that i would not only match him eating (c.f.s., mashed potatoes, and 3 of 4 pieces of texas toast), I would clean the plate, including the extra breadding that fell off of the c.f.s.!!!
Upon hearing this, Sergio attempts to try to stop his young friend from completing the wager. The waitress that he likes comes by and catches wind of the bet. She TRIES to dog me by saying that I couldn't do it. I come back with a wager for her, but she declines and sulks away in shame. :)
I did end up finishing EVERYTHING, just to show off. I even ate a couple of cookies about 5 minues after finishing my food, and a crown n coke!!! That next drink tasted even better.
Of course, about 15 minutes after I finished, the food settled.....ugh....
The moral of the story???:
You should never bet an eating contest against an Asian. We will usually win. Don't believe me? Watch the food network and see how many Asians win!! (i.e. the hot dog eating contest!!)
(click the link below)
http://www.kidzworld.com/img/upload/article/a885i0_zow.jpg
:)
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Good Day, Good Night ... Reflections of a Normal Day
Today was a good day as I allowed it to be. I woke up feeling sickish due to the JackInTheBox I had late last night. But as the day went on I got a little more tired but a little less sickish. Before leaving work, Suzy and I laughed at the point system on the blog. PS, Suzy, you should post your other artwork up here. Damn girls got skills. +1 Point for that.
Driving home, I enjoyed the cool breeze outside - perfect rush hour weather. I came home and plopped down on the couch to rest and talked to Alva on the phone. Fun conversation. She was trying to guess when my birthday was and I wouldn't tell her.
Joel came home in a good mood. We went to eat with some others at Wilcrest Cafeteria on Wilcrest and Westheimer. Another guy showed up there and I offered to buy his dinner since he had payed for my lunch about a month ago. The meeting was good. A few newcomers. Someone I had placed judgement on, suprised me - changed my opinion of them in a better way. The topic was - and I know this is my stuff and not yalls - but many of these topics are so beneficial to living life in general. Anyway, the topc was "Manufacturing your own misery".
Now how great is that, how often to we manufacture our own unhappiness, chaos, sexual problems, etc, ... Good thought for me to think about seeing as most of my life has been about manufacturing my own misery ... and blaming everyone from my parents to my ex-whatevers for my unhappiness. So much freedom comes out from knowing I am responsible for how I feel.
A short long day Yesterday
Wanted to give yall a quick input on yesterday because it was such a big day. After throwing my self into self pity on Monday, I recovered Monday night. So had an opportunity for a new day on Tuesday. Until about 3 pm on Monday, I thought there was no way I was going to lead the Tuesday meeting as scheduled. But I did, and honestly shared with others. Had lunch, didn't isolate or hold grudges and didn't procrastinate either. Got out and came home and procrastinated there. Went to a halfway house meeting at 6:30 pm. Good experience. Met a client at 8 pm. They liked the logos and I am working with the band - the duo - to improve on them and isolate some of the better features of the work. Came home tired. Could have been nicer - or more open - with my roommate. Not a perfect day. Still working on progress. I realized a while ago I am never going to have a perfect day, a perfect life, a perfect plan, a perfect career. I am always going to be facing hardships that give me an opportunity and hope to grow as a person.
Driving home, I enjoyed the cool breeze outside - perfect rush hour weather. I came home and plopped down on the couch to rest and talked to Alva on the phone. Fun conversation. She was trying to guess when my birthday was and I wouldn't tell her.
Joel came home in a good mood. We went to eat with some others at Wilcrest Cafeteria on Wilcrest and Westheimer. Another guy showed up there and I offered to buy his dinner since he had payed for my lunch about a month ago. The meeting was good. A few newcomers. Someone I had placed judgement on, suprised me - changed my opinion of them in a better way. The topic was - and I know this is my stuff and not yalls - but many of these topics are so beneficial to living life in general. Anyway, the topc was "Manufacturing your own misery".
Now how great is that, how often to we manufacture our own unhappiness, chaos, sexual problems, etc, ... Good thought for me to think about seeing as most of my life has been about manufacturing my own misery ... and blaming everyone from my parents to my ex-whatevers for my unhappiness. So much freedom comes out from knowing I am responsible for how I feel.
A short long day Yesterday
Wanted to give yall a quick input on yesterday because it was such a big day. After throwing my self into self pity on Monday, I recovered Monday night. So had an opportunity for a new day on Tuesday. Until about 3 pm on Monday, I thought there was no way I was going to lead the Tuesday meeting as scheduled. But I did, and honestly shared with others. Had lunch, didn't isolate or hold grudges and didn't procrastinate either. Got out and came home and procrastinated there. Went to a halfway house meeting at 6:30 pm. Good experience. Met a client at 8 pm. They liked the logos and I am working with the band - the duo - to improve on them and isolate some of the better features of the work. Came home tired. Could have been nicer - or more open - with my roommate. Not a perfect day. Still working on progress. I realized a while ago I am never going to have a perfect day, a perfect life, a perfect plan, a perfect career. I am always going to be facing hardships that give me an opportunity and hope to grow as a person.
The Masta' Plan
There is a distinct pleasure in tormenting and torturing your boss, especially when he is a boss of good character and is well liked by his employees. And what better day to roast your boss than on his birthday. So after tomorrow, if I do not have my job anymore, then you will all know why...because of the Masta' Plan.
Upon 7:30 a.m., my boss will casually stroll up to the store to begin his day, his birth-day. As he makes his way through the aisles to see if the night crew has done their jobs cleaning and straightening his store, he will open his office, flick on the light, and the Masta' Plan will be revealed.
I can see it now. We will hear the cussing down the hall as we approach his office. He'll be frantically ripping down the streamers hung with care the night before. Confetti poppers will be detinating one boobie trap at a time. All six members of the management team, myself included, will reveal ourselves to him in the doorway, cake in hand, serenading that dreaded song. Wearing nothing but our pajamas...
Wish me luck that he will take the Masta' Plan in stride, instead of sending us all home to think about how badly we want our jobs. We love you Crowder (that's my boss) oh yes, we love you.
Oh well, Carpe Diem! Especially on your boss's birthday. Muuhahahaha.
In other news....
So, my unemployed ass is still looking for jobs. I ended up signing up with another temp agency, thinking it was going to be a decent one. Because the app said to list any misdemeanors that you were arrested for on your record, I had to mention the b.s. from the checks from 1998. So, she tells me that everything seems ok and will be sending my resume to AIG for review for a job, but she still had to do a background check on me. She said the system was down and that she'd get back to me on Monday. Here it is, Wed, and she still doesn't have any freaking results. I'm thinking I should chalk this agency to crap and leave it. What do y'all think?
Relieved
The woman I needed to talk to about the stupid checks that I got arrested for calls me yesterday. Guess what? She doesn't have squat in her system either!! Ain't that a bitch? The good news is that she's going to write a letter that I can show the Sheriff's office and the DA's office so that they will get the hell off of my back!! :-)
A few last points.
Being the only one or first one to comment on your own post. - -1 pt.
Posting to follow a point to another blog -1 pt.
Damn I'm losing bad!
bh11702 just dropped 2 more points leaving him at (-6) pts.
Give up trying to keep up with the point system.
Posting to follow a point to another blog -1 pt.
Damn I'm losing bad!
bh11702 just dropped 2 more points leaving him at (-6) pts.
Give up trying to keep up with the point system.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Joy and Rose Lead the Pack ... Scores Tallied Sunday
Be nice everyone. I'm keeping score.
Killjoy and Sublime Lust Rose lead the pack with 1/2 a point each.
Matt follows with 1/3rd a point.
Ms Kitty with 1/4th a point.
Bri with 1/6th a point.
Brad has no points. (The same with his stories.)
Jay had -3 points and will decline by 1/6th of 1/8th of a point each 1/2 day unless a comment is posted.
Points are awarded by the following factors.
The FU Factors
Absence of a blog - the I'm special, I''m busy" factor. - -2 points.
Making points up - -1 point.
Not having a point to your blog -1 point
(comments not included - so comments can not have a clear point to them, but blogs or posts must have some rhyme or reason).
The "That's Just Wrong" and "That's Just Rude" Factors
Wrong - (-2 1/2 pts)
Rude - (-2 1/5th points)
Killjoy and Sublime Lust Rose lead the pack with 1/2 a point each.
Matt follows with 1/3rd a point.
Ms Kitty with 1/4th a point.
Bri with 1/6th a point.
Brad has no points. (The same with his stories.)
Jay had -3 points and will decline by 1/6th of 1/8th of a point each 1/2 day unless a comment is posted.
Points are awarded by the following factors.
The FU Factors
Absence of a blog - the I'm special, I''m busy" factor. - -2 points.
Making points up - -1 point.
Not having a point to your blog -1 point
(comments not included - so comments can not have a clear point to them, but blogs or posts must have some rhyme or reason).
The "That's Just Wrong" and "That's Just Rude" Factors
Wrong - (-2 1/2 pts)
Rude - (-2 1/5th points)
The F-Yeah, Damn!, Oh Sh*t!, Hah! and Sweet! Factors
Good Cut - 1 pt.
Good Point - 1 1/8 pt.
Good Call - 1 1/2 pt.
Good Post - 1 3/4th a point.
Good Lord - 2 1/4 point.
Good Grief - (Also referred to as The Easy Mac and Cheese Factor) 2 1/3rd a point.
Good Story - 3 1/4 point.
Good Night - 4 1/10th of a point.
Questions about the pointing system - (-1) point.
Morning Blog #51
There actually is a "Cat Lady".
Since we moved in our new apartment, I've noticed the cat lady that lives downstairs and across the way. In our new apartment, our patio faces another patio of another apartment. At first I thought it sucked, because there was no view. But we have these two trees outside I'm always looking at and we have the Cat Lady downstairs. She leaves her patio door open almost 24-7. Cats walk in and out of there and hang out in whatever you call a group of cats - packs? dens? Whatever, they hang in a group. One thing gauranteed, you will see a cat hanging outside around the patio every day. So far I have counted two white cats, a tan cat, and a dark grey cat. Ms. Kitty, you may actually know what type of cats these are. Not being a cat person, I don't know.
What about the Cat Lady herself? She seems reserved. And I don't think she lives alone. I think she has an adult daughter about our age and maybe some grandkids. I have never made any verbal contact with her. I have seen her come out, change laundry and go back in, and she may glance up, but she's no conversationalist, yet. So I wonder about this. She seems like she is a safe person to live by. She always has her door cracked, so she has some trust in the world - even if it is only with cats. (Unlike other gun-totting residents!). I also think it takes alot of trust to leave your door cracked 24-7. You don't see that anymore. I remember growing up, we never loked our front door except for at night. During the day, it was always unlocked. At some point, I look to see if the Cat Lady is out today, to make sure she's still around. So that brought me to my question and my subject for my morning blog. What kind of Lady is the Cat Lady?
Since we moved in our new apartment, I've noticed the cat lady that lives downstairs and across the way. In our new apartment, our patio faces another patio of another apartment. At first I thought it sucked, because there was no view. But we have these two trees outside I'm always looking at and we have the Cat Lady downstairs. She leaves her patio door open almost 24-7. Cats walk in and out of there and hang out in whatever you call a group of cats - packs? dens? Whatever, they hang in a group. One thing gauranteed, you will see a cat hanging outside around the patio every day. So far I have counted two white cats, a tan cat, and a dark grey cat. Ms. Kitty, you may actually know what type of cats these are. Not being a cat person, I don't know.
What about the Cat Lady herself? She seems reserved. And I don't think she lives alone. I think she has an adult daughter about our age and maybe some grandkids. I have never made any verbal contact with her. I have seen her come out, change laundry and go back in, and she may glance up, but she's no conversationalist, yet. So I wonder about this. She seems like she is a safe person to live by. She always has her door cracked, so she has some trust in the world - even if it is only with cats. (Unlike other gun-totting residents!). I also think it takes alot of trust to leave your door cracked 24-7. You don't see that anymore. I remember growing up, we never loked our front door except for at night. During the day, it was always unlocked. At some point, I look to see if the Cat Lady is out today, to make sure she's still around. So that brought me to my question and my subject for my morning blog. What kind of Lady is the Cat Lady?
Question....
Hey BH....is there an option to receive an email notice whenever someone posts a new blog and/or a new reply? Yes, I'm being lazy...sue me
Bitchfest
Ok....so, I think most of y'all have seen, heard or read of my arrest a few weeks ago...if not, get with the program!! So, I decided that today, I would try to resolve this issue with the oustanding checks, since I had to borrow some money to get this paid off. So, I call up Randall's, which is where the checks were written. They give me some 800# to some call center in Phoenix, AZ. It turns out that Safeway Inc bought Randall's in 2001. So, I give this guy on the phone my name and my DL #. The guy says there's nothing in his system. Then he figures out it's b/c they don't have the records b/c they didn't take over Randall's stuff until, 2001. *rolls eyes*
So, I end up calling Telecheck, another company called SCAN, then a third collections agency to see if they had any info. Telecheck said they had nothing, the third company said they had nothing. SCAN, apparently has since removed it's US operations and is now working out of the Middle East, India, I think. The woman, who I could barely understand, said they had nothing.
So, I call up two of the Randall's stores that I used to shop at....(I don't think I'll ever shop there again)....but I digress....
So, the first store, I try to explain what was going on. The dumbass chick just gives me the same 800#, and preceeded to hang up. The second store, the girl actually had a brain and got me another number. Unfortunately, it was another dead end.
So, I decided to call up Harris County Sheriff's dept. I end up driving from Katy all the freaking way down to downtown Houston. I finally get copies of the checks. Now get this....the checks were actually written between 11/5 and 11/20/1998. Technically, I shouldn't have to pay squat, since it's been OVER 7 years, which i believe is the limit on crap like this. But, just to cover my ass, I'm going to attempt to pay this....
So, finally I get another idea...back in mid to late 2004, I worked at the corporate/district office for Randall's in Houston. I contacted my 'boss' at the time, and she got me a number in Dallas for someone that will HOPEFULLY be able to finally help me put this to rest....
Cross your fingers.....if this woman can't find it, I'm gonna be back on here bitching yet again!!!
So, I end up calling Telecheck, another company called SCAN, then a third collections agency to see if they had any info. Telecheck said they had nothing, the third company said they had nothing. SCAN, apparently has since removed it's US operations and is now working out of the Middle East, India, I think. The woman, who I could barely understand, said they had nothing.
So, I call up two of the Randall's stores that I used to shop at....(I don't think I'll ever shop there again)....but I digress....
So, the first store, I try to explain what was going on. The dumbass chick just gives me the same 800#, and preceeded to hang up. The second store, the girl actually had a brain and got me another number. Unfortunately, it was another dead end.
So, I decided to call up Harris County Sheriff's dept. I end up driving from Katy all the freaking way down to downtown Houston. I finally get copies of the checks. Now get this....the checks were actually written between 11/5 and 11/20/1998. Technically, I shouldn't have to pay squat, since it's been OVER 7 years, which i believe is the limit on crap like this. But, just to cover my ass, I'm going to attempt to pay this....
So, finally I get another idea...back in mid to late 2004, I worked at the corporate/district office for Randall's in Houston. I contacted my 'boss' at the time, and she got me a number in Dallas for someone that will HOPEFULLY be able to finally help me put this to rest....
Cross your fingers.....if this woman can't find it, I'm gonna be back on here bitching yet again!!!
Monday, March 06, 2006
Boondock this into your video library!
Speaking of favorite movies...this one is great! Thank you BH for introducing me to this one! My favorite part is when they shoot the cat, and he says, "is it dead?" and later they cover the exploded cat on the wall with newspaper...frickn' hilarious. If you have not seen this one go get it today!
Sunday, March 05, 2006
A Story with False Information ... I Think They Call it B.S.
Ok, about ten minutes after I posted the MythBuster, I realized I was wrong about what happened in Ferris Buellers Day Off. As Jay stated, they didn't reverse the mileage, that's why Cameron kicked the car. Duh...
I told my roommate about the blog, and he corrected me. And that moment happened, "Oh, yeah, that's right!" But I had to go to a meeting, and ran out of time to pst my correction. So the blog stayed up there today. I know another thing that'll get people blogging is correcting others! (Joking!) All in all it made for an interesting blog and got ya 'membering.
And aside the mistake in recalling the events of this movie, sad fact is the myth was still put to the test. With that, and the mistaken recall, and my early onset of Alzhiemers, I am officially moving my self up to #2 on the list, kicking off Jeff Daniels and Jim Carrey, and declaring Goerge Bush still the dumbest MFer out there. (Killjoy, is that what you're referring to when you say I keep pushing it? ... Old GW?)
I told my roommate about the blog, and he corrected me. And that moment happened, "Oh, yeah, that's right!" But I had to go to a meeting, and ran out of time to pst my correction. So the blog stayed up there today. I know another thing that'll get people blogging is correcting others! (Joking!) All in all it made for an interesting blog and got ya 'membering.
And aside the mistake in recalling the events of this movie, sad fact is the myth was still put to the test. With that, and the mistaken recall, and my early onset of Alzhiemers, I am officially moving my self up to #2 on the list, kicking off Jeff Daniels and Jim Carrey, and declaring Goerge Bush still the dumbest MFer out there. (Killjoy, is that what you're referring to when you say I keep pushing it? ... Old GW?)
You know.....
#1 You know it's going to be shitty when...your dog won't come near you.
#2 You know it's going to be shitty when...you go to smoke it's your last one and you light the wrong end.
#3 You know it's going to be shitty when...you wake up and you have to be at work in 20 min and you live 40min away.
#4 You know it's going to be shitty when...you go to take a shit and your out of toilet paper.
#5 You know it's going to be shitty when...you go to buy a drink and the vendening machine at work takes your money and everything is sold out, and it won't give you back your money.
#6 You know it's going to be shitty when...you have to spend half the day with your ex-wife and ex-inlaw.
#7 You know it's going to be shitty when...you get writers block and can't come up with anything else.
#8 You know it's going to be shitty when...you have no tolerence for stupidity.
#9 You know it's going to be shitty when...you have to read shitty shit like this.
#10 You know it's going to be shitty when...(and here it is folks) you are alone.
#2 You know it's going to be shitty when...you go to smoke it's your last one and you light the wrong end.
#3 You know it's going to be shitty when...you wake up and you have to be at work in 20 min and you live 40min away.
#4 You know it's going to be shitty when...you go to take a shit and your out of toilet paper.
#5 You know it's going to be shitty when...you go to buy a drink and the vendening machine at work takes your money and everything is sold out, and it won't give you back your money.
#6 You know it's going to be shitty when...you have to spend half the day with your ex-wife and ex-inlaw.
#7 You know it's going to be shitty when...you get writers block and can't come up with anything else.
#8 You know it's going to be shitty when...you have no tolerence for stupidity.
#9 You know it's going to be shitty when...you have to read shitty shit like this.
#10 You know it's going to be shitty when...(and here it is folks) you are alone.
The Dumbest Mythbuster Ever
Perhaps the dumbest myth ever, may actually hold the belief of the dumbest people ever.In Ferris Buellers Day Off, who can forget that classic, and the scene we are refferring to is the scene where Ferris and Cameron are reversing the mileage on Camerons dad's car. They almost have it when the car goes flying through the back of the garage and into the hillside. And in high school, of course I wondered, "Could that really happen?" I mean the part about reversing the mileage. (Actually the whole movie - what a great flick. And to think I skipped all those days to stay at home and play Nintendo. Crap.)
The answer is no. Well the question, or hypothesis, turned out to be in the following scenerio.
After I took my walk this morning, I hopped in my truck because I wanted to take the mileage of my walking path. I clocked it at 1.1 miles around the block. Then my next question was, what about that day I walked all the way to my meeting across the Tollway and back? So I drove those out and clocked them, (the two different paths I took walking - one to and one back home), and they came out 1.3 miles to and 2.0 miles 
back estimated. So I came home to proceed with my errands. As I'm driving in the parking lot, I hit this last long, straight stretch before I park. And it came to me. Since we're clocking everything, let's see. So I reset my odometer and backed the truck up 0.1 miles. I looked down. The odometer read o.1 miles. Myth busted.
back estimated. So I came home to proceed with my errands. As I'm driving in the parking lot, I hit this last long, straight stretch before I park. And it came to me. Since we're clocking everything, let's see. So I reset my odometer and backed the truck up 0.1 miles. I looked down. The odometer read o.1 miles. Myth busted.(...And so am I. You all are finding out what a dumbf*ck I am these days. Mind you I laughed at myself before you did. I wondered what it must have looked like to someone around the apartment complex to see a truck pull up, stop, back up slowly, stop, pull up again and park. "Look, honey, it's the retard again!" "Just let him be Sugar, just let him be..." So I have busted a 14 yr old myth and risen myself above not being the dumbest ass in the world. Maybe the 4th dumbest, but not the dumbest. In fact here after those who could qualify above me as dumber. And my place in the lineup. Starting with me.
6. Me
5. The guy who still puts his belt on wrong - and believes if you go in reverse, you turn back your mileage.
4. The guy who still puts his belt on wrong, can't tie his shoes as an adult - and believes if you go in reverse, you turn back your mileage.
3. Jeff Daniels
2. Jim Carrey
1. Of course who else but Goerge W. Bush. Whatta' Putz!
Saturday, March 04, 2006
This is me.
This is me, a guy, with not much to say on anything. But then again, who needs anything to talk about. I've been floating down this little thing called life and what have I done it? Well, I have a daughter who turns eight on monday, I'm married to a wonderful woman, I have a job, we have a new car. Now of course the road that I took to get here is shall we say a little on the shady side. I wasn't what you would call a "Stand up guy" in my past. I know, I know, it's hard to belive, but it's true. I had come to a point in my life where I had to make a choice. Well, we see that I have made steps down the right path with that choice and that I have had a few missteps on the way as well. These are the things I fight with all the time; my past, my old life style ,and the place where I screwed up my life more than I have any where else on earth. So, what do I do? I don't think anyone here quite knows what it is like to live so far from home and from your future (except you Jess). Now, a problem that I see in myself, well, where to start, oh that is I don't tell my feelings till I'm to my limit. How is this important? How many have seen me explode? Anyone? Well? No? That's what I mean. Most of you guys haven't. I just don't lose it that often. I'm not saying that, that is a bad thing, but how do I really handles it? I'm not even sure of that one. How do I really handle stress? I'm not sure. I sure do like to pile it on though. New job, new car, new phones's, moving, find a place to live, live with my parents, live away from my wife, budget for two people living in diffrent places, less sex, more masterbateing, ex-wife, bitch at work, 45min drive to work one way, not knowing when I'll see my wife next, crap tv, adult ADHD, look for a part time job, being alone even when people are around, and quite smoking. Hell need I go on?
Now this isn't a cry for help or comfort(because I don't want it), this is me, just venting and letting go. I'm sorry that I am just blabering, but get over it. I'm in one of those moods. I'm tired, alone, and I had to be around my ex today. Now I was stupid for ever getting married to that. What in the hell was I thinking. I feel for her new or soon to be new husband(may he rest in peace). Anyways, That's a diffrent story. I thought birthday parties were fun. Or they were when I was 8. All I heard about was Michelle getting married and michelle that, and new baby this, and blah... blah... blah... puke! Oh and Abby's brthday party was on Michelle's birthday so I got to see that as well. Just a great time. Now I did enjoy being there and seeing Abby, but only seeing Abby. Anyways, this is me at my most peived.
Good day......
I SAID GOOD DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now this isn't a cry for help or comfort(because I don't want it), this is me, just venting and letting go. I'm sorry that I am just blabering, but get over it. I'm in one of those moods. I'm tired, alone, and I had to be around my ex today. Now I was stupid for ever getting married to that. What in the hell was I thinking. I feel for her new or soon to be new husband(may he rest in peace). Anyways, That's a diffrent story. I thought birthday parties were fun. Or they were when I was 8. All I heard about was Michelle getting married and michelle that, and new baby this, and blah... blah... blah... puke! Oh and Abby's brthday party was on Michelle's birthday so I got to see that as well. Just a great time. Now I did enjoy being there and seeing Abby, but only seeing Abby. Anyways, this is me at my most peived.
Good day......
I SAID GOOD DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#42
Just wanted to post another blog for the hell of it! LOL
Yes, I know i'm a dork.
and there's the full pic from my profile.
Friday, March 03, 2006
How to Stop Smoking in 4o Ways
1. Lie, and tell everyone you quit, and smoke in the closet.
2. Eat chocolate cake three times a day.
3. Drink lots of Kava-kava juice to chase down the antidepressants you'll need to take.
4. Pray for tobacco eating locusts to swarm the crops, so there will be no more PhillipsMorris.
5. Go to PhillipsMorris online to join their stop smoking support team of hypocrosy.
6. Knock yourself in the head into unconciousness with an anvil every time you go to light up.
7. Find a way to get put into a coma.
8. Have Mr. Smith sew your mouth shut like Mr. Anderson in The Matrix.
9. Unplug yourself from the Matrix and fall into the 'real world' where there are no cigarettes.
AND...
10 thru 40. Smoke until you die, I don't think they allow smoking in the afterlife.
How to Blog 40 Articles in 17 Days
Congrats Everyone, in 17 days, since Valentine's Day, 40 Articles/Posts, have been written. Each one with great value in content and archiving. Can't wait to look back on this at 100 Posts and see what great literature and life experience has been published.
For you statistical people, that's about 2.35 blogs per day.
For you statistical people, that's about 2.35 blogs per day.
Nobody cry or anything...Ansel just inspired me...
The weight of ice bows my branches
Isolation from sun and green limbs
Enslaved in time with the pain of cold air against me
Loneliness of winter settles within
To yearn to be as I once was
Swaying in warm breezes larger than life
Feeling the strength and power of freedom
Upon loneliness I found my heart
Jessica Adam
Your belt's on the wrong way! ... And tie your shoes!
Most who are reading this are wondering two things right off the back from the title.1) Is this some a-hole making fun of someone?
2) OR is this some dumbass, that can't do something.
"Ladies and Gents, make way for King Dumas (pronounced 'dew-maas')."
"All Hail the King!" I shout!
"All Hail the King!" They parade.
OK, for the second time, I have been told my belt is on the wrong way. Apparently, it is supposed to go in one way and come out the other. I said, "I'm left-handed". No luck.
"It doesn't matter! It's on the wrong way!"
"Who f*ckin writes these rules?!"
And better yet, when, and where do people learn them? I must have been absent the day of "Belts and Shoes". I know I was for shoes. I have always had these loose shoelaces dangilng around. "Tie your shoes! Tie your shoes!". OK, already. I get it. I'm 4. No, wait, let me check, ....(pulls out drivers licsense ... '76, carry the 1, ...'), no, I'm almost 30. So sad, so sad. Everyone together,
"Aaaawwwww"
"CHECK THE PIZZA!"
Check your own pizza! I'm trying to tell a story here! @?\*%!.
Anway, so, almost 30 and lifelong issues with belts and shoes. AND, and, (note this), ... no special education classes. Can you believe it!?
The Day I Finally Got the Shoe Thing
A lady came up to me a few months ago, no joke. A few months ago. "Come here." She knelt down, and tied my shoes, as she was talking, -
"Why don't you try a double knot, like this ...."
-my friend walks by laughing - oh man is this embarrasing - that's okay, he cries at movies! (LOL! At least I didn't reveal your name!)
". . . and then finish it like this."
Somehow, someway, I was able to finally get it. This time I actually did listen. Every other time was the same situation, embarrassment. My mother tried when I was a young spud. "Watch me, son!" Oh, God, how embarrasing, a 4 yr old getting his shoes tied! That's what I would think. (Not as embarrasing as a 29 year old getting his shoes tied.) "Mom! I get it! I get it!" I probably said. But I didn't. I didn't listen. Every single knot and double knot I ever tied came undone by an unknown act of God. What was this conspiracy against my laces and belts? What was it? Twenty nine years of embarrassment and pride. The older I got, the worse it got. The less chance I was to take a chance of asking someone, how. How do I tie my shoes? How do I put my belt on? How, how, how? Pride, image, embarrassment, ego. Sad, sad, sad. There's an extreme case of learning to ask for help if I ever knew one.
Now I tie my shoes in double knots. That is until I learn to tie them the right way. I think I'll have to go to confession or something and ask a priest. Learn to tie my shoes the right way in the sole confines of a priest and God. But for now, I'll go double knotted. They're a real bitch to get off or untied when you're tired or drunk, but if you're like me, you just want to get them tied and keep them tied. Anything to avoid one less embarrassment.
Back to the Belt IssueSo, last time I was approached with this belt issue, I don't remember what happened afterwards. I think I tried it "the right way" for awhile. I'm sure I argued - covered for myself - rationalized it all out to a unique style of my own. Whatever I did, it didn't last. I was back to my old ways in no time. It takes a whole lot of something for a man to break a habit.
And this time, well, who's to say? It just feels wierd. I'm left handed. Whatever the hell that means. I'm left handed.
Finally the Moral of the Story
For the most part, this isn't a very entertaining story. Or maybe it is, if you know me well. Maybe it's "just classic". I may experience great remorse for publisizing these experiences. I may humiliatied. But then, again, if you know me, I've often put myself on a ledge for entertainment value. That's part of my whole that I have accepted for the most part.
But if you have a 4 year old, an 8 year old, a 12 year old, a teenager, a special needs child, a drunk, a spaz, a great grandma, an alzheimers parent or relative, a moron, a putz, a dork, a dweeb, an idiot, a clutz, - especially a clutz, or whoever in your life, take a moment, observe them. Are thier shoelaces tied? Is their belt on the right way? Help them out. Especially the kids. Take that kid aside. Tell him or her to tie thier shoes. When they say, "I can't" - help them, they can't. When they ask, "But, why?" or they say, "I don't want to" - when they say "I got it! I got it!, GEEZ!" or "Leave me alone!", and then you see thier laces undone the next day, or thier belt the wrong way the next day - then tell them this story. Tell them they could be 30 and have to learn then, but it would be much easier now. Tell them, "You don't have to be embarrased, it's okay." Make sure they know, this is something they will always have to do. If they still don't believe you, well, tell the little genuises, "Cus if you don't you'll grow up to be an alcoholic." They may not get it, but you may get a laugh or two out of it . Or if that disturbs you deeply to say, or hear, give them the line that surpasses all time, fads and generations, - "Because I said so!". But they may not listen to that.
Great .... the gangs almost all here ... who's missing?
Wow! Welcome Matt, Susie and Brigdette .... It's Bradley here!
Jess, Brian ... Wassup!
So whose missing?
Let's see.... who is missing?
Jay! I thought if anything would get you to hop on, it would be the "Flanders" thing!
Log on! Comment! (I mean like more than once a month!)
OK, so here's the plan. Everyone call Jay on Saturday and tell him you miss him and want him to join us!
His number is (512) 484-5537.
If he says he's busy, you know what to tell him .... CHECK THE PIZZA!
(Ain't I a bastard?)
Thursday, March 02, 2006
ok....gotta bitch and rant...
Why is it so freaking hard for a guy to get a woman to talk ?? So, the last few nights, I've been a bum and checking out women on myspace.com. You know, nothing big, i'm not stalking anyone or anything, just trying to make a few new friends. And no, I'm not writing just, "hello, how are you?"
I make sure to write a few things off of their profile to let them know I'm paying attention to them, and not just looking to see if they have big boobs or anything.
So, I wait to see if they are nice enough to at least write back to say they aren't interested in talking....
but
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOO
they can't even do that. They just read my email and don't even bother being nice. WTF??? I'm not asking to marry them or anything...just to chat. Sheesh.
I make sure to write a few things off of their profile to let them know I'm paying attention to them, and not just looking to see if they have big boobs or anything.
So, I wait to see if they are nice enough to at least write back to say they aren't interested in talking....
but
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOO
they can't even do that. They just read my email and don't even bother being nice. WTF??? I'm not asking to marry them or anything...just to chat. Sheesh.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
The "I'm in a financial fishbowl" song...
"I'm in a financial fishbowl" from the musical 'I just financed a new car'
We are still working out the chords on this one...
(only a prospective accounting student could think this one up)
I'm in a financial fish bowl,
Swimming round n' round.
No where to run, no where to hide,
Ohwowo, I'm in a financial fishbowl now!
(grandiose)
Let me jump out and die on the ground,
I don't need water to breathe!
My scales will stick to the countertop,
But out of the bowl I'll beeee!
(tempo slows...)
I cannot jump out
In the bowl I will stay
In the jaws of financial shackles-
I cannot get out
In the bowl I will stay
In the circle of debt debaucles-
(sadly)
Mad circles I'll swim
Round the financial fish bowl I'm in
And then---And suddenly---(cresendo)
I could , I could be freeeee...(hands up)
Only if I stick to the countertop
and
do (pause)
not (pause)
aaaaaahh - BREEEEEEATHE--------!
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