Posthumous Horoscope (Cancer) - February 2009

You will find February to be a month of emotional ups and downs. Not the smooth peaks and valleys of normal emotional wellness, but more like plummeting down steep jagged cliff lows complemented by hot air balloon rides where the air is so thin you can't breath highs. Simply put, your family will think you have lost your damn mind.

Valentine's Day will not bode well this year, as you will be at the bottom of that emotional cliff in a deep ravine with two broken legs, but fortunately your lover is there to kick your ass into gear and get you moving again. Also, a weekend marathon of eighties movies will calm your nerves.

Nurturing as you are Cancer, you find this to be a hard task this month. The child in your life will be lucky to escape alive.

Spend time this month being creative to celebrate someone you love who is far away...even though the green afro-wig, homemade pickle band-aid magnets, and handmade pop-up birthday card, featuring this certain loved one disco dancing on a giant cupcake with a bobbling head, will not be as funny to them as it was to you. This will send you back into the ravine....

On a high note, *gasp gasp*, your spouse will become blessed with a potentially lucrative career opportunity, and you will have desperate hope that this is the break you have been waiting for a very, very long time now...and all your happiness and all your dreams become hindged on whether or not this opportunity will pan out. As a Cancer, your need to put all your eggs in one hot air balloon will put cracking pressure on your loved one to succeed.

Good luck next month!

Definition of the day - Feb 27 2009

posthumous:
following or occurring after death

Fuuny events in life #1

The other night, I farted in bed and woke my dog up as she barked, I laughed. She went back to sleep. Then I farted again.

The Posthumous Horoscopes

So here's the deal with these - if anyone is alive and cares to contribute - write your own horoscope for the previous month. (For those anal-retentives out there - wait til March 1st - it'll calm your nerves)

Title it:
Posthumous Horoscope (Your astrological sign) - Last month and year.

Write the things you think your horoscope would have said to you based on the experience of last month or things you would have like to read or 'had a feeling' about before they happened.

For Example,

Posthumous Horoscope (Capricorn) - Feb. 2009

You will find a cold day of the month in the high mountains. As a Capricorn, you choose to ski on it of all things! Your friends may having nothing else to do, but write Posthumous Horoscopes. Humor them, they are hot-headed and egotistical.

Posthumous Horoscope (Aries) - Feb 2009

As an Aries, you are hot-headed and egotistical, don't let this get you in troubled waters in your workplace. Valentines Day brings you a horny older companion that may rub their breast on you for half an hour because you asked them to dance, go out for a cigarette and don't come back the same way. Your transportation troubles continue to bring you grief, misery, frustration and confusion. As an Aries, you are hot-headed and egotistical, once again, don't let this get you into troubled waters in your workplace - dumbass. Remember, an all day marathon of The Biggest Loser is not considered a constructive day. To drop you Aries' a little slack, you will find the month went by quicker. You are an adult child and an alcoholic - your acceptance comes form nowhere else but within yourself.

Check the Pizza finds a face-book

what up!

Good to see everyone on facebook!

For those not on it - check the pizza!

seriously - get on it - get linked in to us there!

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."
--Helen Keller

And so it is, the posting and the blogging fad has come and gone. How quickly we abandon what gives us pleasure no more. Is this a void of burnt crispiness in which I punch key after key after key in some small shred of hope for someone, somewhere to glance a glimpse into my thoughts written in desperation?

Pizza was good once, but no, we leave the uneaten piece alone in its box to dry up and congeal into a hard sauced mess. But such is the way of things in a world where our ever advancing technological manic addictions are overcoming us all and we move on to fresher, spiceier, tastier pizza than the stale ninety-nine cent cardboard boxed kinds we all used to think were so neat.

All I can say is, the burnt pizza has been checked...

Or has it?