Saturday, December 22, 2007
They go back in the spokes
I'm sure most of you on this blog may not be able to relate to this small feeling I get - this selfish feeling - when I think about baseball and the steroids scandals up to the recent Mitchell report.
In 1986 my family took a trip - a long expensive trip to the three major sports Hall of Fames. A trip filled with flat tires, bad transmissons, tense family moments and great family moments, and an excitement of a 10 year old on his quest to Cooperstown. I had just started began seriously collecting baseball cards, admiring the collection my brother had since he was my age. Cooperstown was my Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle! And indeed - I very well may shooot my eye out on this one later on.
Collecting cards I'd hear stories about our dumb parents putting baseball cards in the spokes of their tires becuse they liked the sound the cards made. It was no doubt they were without Dr. Mario and World of Warcraft and were easily entertained by things like the cards in the spokes in the tires, hula-hoops and vanilla ice-cream. But some parents - other kids parents - the smart ones - saved their cards and had an investment for their kids futures. I'd have to build my own investment - support myself with that Jose Canseco rookie card I knew I'd get opening that pack of 86 donruss. Flat tires and broken down RV's frustrated me as an interference to my baseball card dynasty I would soon create off of my fourteen dollars and twenty eight cents.
When we got there, I was overwhelmed. We walked the streets of Coopertown, going from store to store, and I was planning my financial future. No point in spending my money on one or two big cards. I could've sammed off a few 1984 rookie cards, but I invested in a box of 1986 Donruss cards. That way, I could have all the players of the future, and make hundreds off each one of them. I opened pack after pack and never got a Jose Canseco. I was naer tears as we left Cooperstown. I'd have to settle for a Mookie Wilson, a Howard Johnson, a Billy Doran, and other five to ten cent athletes. That damn conspiracy against me started at an early age.
Over the next six years, I would spend alot of money on baseball cards. At times, I put my juvenile freedom on the line as my friend Steve and I stole 54 Deion Sanders Upper Deck baseball cards. In my own admittance, I was a little criminal, stealing other cards along the way from trade shows and a friend in junior high who I thought was so rich, he'd never know the difference. I feel bad about that now, and would at times in my future life experience the karma of what it was like to have things stolen from me. The only thing I can do about that past is be honest about it. Admit it and be accountable for it. (Hear that Mark McGwire? - Be accountable).
I lost interest in cards when I got a drivers licsense and a few more hairs on my chest. (The hairs actually came way later!) But I kept those cards neatly arranged in a closet along with my childish dream I've carried in my pocket. And eventually, the dream was forgotten, too. But the cards remained.
As I came into adulthood - with less money - I pondered at times to sell my cards. Each time I had abandoned that idea, with an assurance to myself that investments gain even more value ocer time. I reminded myself not to be so passive about my future investments. But in reality, I was a baseball card pinch penny. I very well could have made a few quid to help out, but that childish dream, convinced me I could make more quid at a later date. I would never make mistakes I mad like trading all of my Ken Griffey Jr cards for this superstar Bo Jackson. I'd be smarter.
Four or so years ago, I gained possession of my collection from my parents. I took possession of the most valauble cards and 50% of my collection, leaving a few boxes of hidden treasures in their attic. I withheld making quick money to let my investment grow. Some point during that year, I believe I spent a night very similair to my chhildhood nights at home. I was in my apartment witha Beckett price guide and cards sprawled around the carpet floor. I was somewhat content, but with my short attention span - still, as an adult - I forgot about them.
A few weeks ago, I was brought to the realization, that the golden boys of the late 80's and early 90's were among many of those leading the steroid scandals. The Barry Bonds (87 Topps), Mark McGwire (84 Topps), Jose Canseco (86 Donruss), and now possibly Roger Clemens (85 Topps), were practically plummeting in value. I had already given up on the other like Daryl Strawberry and Dwight Gooden, the Rafael Palmero (87 Donruss) was worthless now. The Sammy Sosa (90 Topps) was worthless. And the Mitchell report isn't to blame. Neither are the players listed. I blame myself for being a pinch penny. I learn from this lesson, but get an irritation everytime I read more about it.
I still have my collection. Now seems the time when I would get the least for it. I could wait for the season to begin in April and try to unload what I can for what hopefully help make a payment on one of my lower credit cards - the interest at least. But what then. I suspect, if history repeats itslef and the laws of Darwin and Haines prevail - I will be bitching - I mean - blogging about this sometime in the future and possibly in greater length of less importance.
I'll let you fine people know how things turn out. I may just sell all of them except for the Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens rookie cards. Take that money to Wal-Mart and invest in a bicycle to get myself back in shape once I quit smoking, and take those two cards and put them back in the spokes of my tires.
As I ride the trails and laugh at the face of defeat,
I will listen to the sounds of the cards in the spokes,
And think, "Golly Gee, that sounds neat!!"
In 1986 my family took a trip - a long expensive trip to the three major sports Hall of Fames. A trip filled with flat tires, bad transmissons, tense family moments and great family moments, and an excitement of a 10 year old on his quest to Cooperstown. I had just started began seriously collecting baseball cards, admiring the collection my brother had since he was my age. Cooperstown was my Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle! And indeed - I very well may shooot my eye out on this one later on.
Collecting cards I'd hear stories about our dumb parents putting baseball cards in the spokes of their tires becuse they liked the sound the cards made. It was no doubt they were without Dr. Mario and World of Warcraft and were easily entertained by things like the cards in the spokes in the tires, hula-hoops and vanilla ice-cream. But some parents - other kids parents - the smart ones - saved their cards and had an investment for their kids futures. I'd have to build my own investment - support myself with that Jose Canseco rookie card I knew I'd get opening that pack of 86 donruss. Flat tires and broken down RV's frustrated me as an interference to my baseball card dynasty I would soon create off of my fourteen dollars and twenty eight cents.
When we got there, I was overwhelmed. We walked the streets of Coopertown, going from store to store, and I was planning my financial future. No point in spending my money on one or two big cards. I could've sammed off a few 1984 rookie cards, but I invested in a box of 1986 Donruss cards. That way, I could have all the players of the future, and make hundreds off each one of them. I opened pack after pack and never got a Jose Canseco. I was naer tears as we left Cooperstown. I'd have to settle for a Mookie Wilson, a Howard Johnson, a Billy Doran, and other five to ten cent athletes. That damn conspiracy against me started at an early age.
Over the next six years, I would spend alot of money on baseball cards. At times, I put my juvenile freedom on the line as my friend Steve and I stole 54 Deion Sanders Upper Deck baseball cards. In my own admittance, I was a little criminal, stealing other cards along the way from trade shows and a friend in junior high who I thought was so rich, he'd never know the difference. I feel bad about that now, and would at times in my future life experience the karma of what it was like to have things stolen from me. The only thing I can do about that past is be honest about it. Admit it and be accountable for it. (Hear that Mark McGwire? - Be accountable).
I lost interest in cards when I got a drivers licsense and a few more hairs on my chest. (The hairs actually came way later!) But I kept those cards neatly arranged in a closet along with my childish dream I've carried in my pocket. And eventually, the dream was forgotten, too. But the cards remained.
As I came into adulthood - with less money - I pondered at times to sell my cards. Each time I had abandoned that idea, with an assurance to myself that investments gain even more value ocer time. I reminded myself not to be so passive about my future investments. But in reality, I was a baseball card pinch penny. I very well could have made a few quid to help out, but that childish dream, convinced me I could make more quid at a later date. I would never make mistakes I mad like trading all of my Ken Griffey Jr cards for this superstar Bo Jackson. I'd be smarter.
Four or so years ago, I gained possession of my collection from my parents. I took possession of the most valauble cards and 50% of my collection, leaving a few boxes of hidden treasures in their attic. I withheld making quick money to let my investment grow. Some point during that year, I believe I spent a night very similair to my chhildhood nights at home. I was in my apartment witha Beckett price guide and cards sprawled around the carpet floor. I was somewhat content, but with my short attention span - still, as an adult - I forgot about them.
A few weeks ago, I was brought to the realization, that the golden boys of the late 80's and early 90's were among many of those leading the steroid scandals. The Barry Bonds (87 Topps), Mark McGwire (84 Topps), Jose Canseco (86 Donruss), and now possibly Roger Clemens (85 Topps), were practically plummeting in value. I had already given up on the other like Daryl Strawberry and Dwight Gooden, the Rafael Palmero (87 Donruss) was worthless now. The Sammy Sosa (90 Topps) was worthless. And the Mitchell report isn't to blame. Neither are the players listed. I blame myself for being a pinch penny. I learn from this lesson, but get an irritation everytime I read more about it.
I still have my collection. Now seems the time when I would get the least for it. I could wait for the season to begin in April and try to unload what I can for what hopefully help make a payment on one of my lower credit cards - the interest at least. But what then. I suspect, if history repeats itslef and the laws of Darwin and Haines prevail - I will be bitching - I mean - blogging about this sometime in the future and possibly in greater length of less importance.
I'll let you fine people know how things turn out. I may just sell all of them except for the Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens rookie cards. Take that money to Wal-Mart and invest in a bicycle to get myself back in shape once I quit smoking, and take those two cards and put them back in the spokes of my tires.
As I ride the trails and laugh at the face of defeat,
I will listen to the sounds of the cards in the spokes,
And think, "Golly Gee, that sounds neat!!"
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Update: Suzy and Jerrel's new house!
I wanted to take some time to give you guys some great news. Jerrel and I closed on our first home last Friday! It is a 2 bedroom/1 bath house and approximately 1000 sq ft of living space located just off of 59N in Splendora, TX (the location is about the equivilent of the Woodlands on 45N). This house was a great bargain for us, unfortunately it is a fixer-upper home (all of which we can manage). Last Sunday, the house was painted a clean coat of white - and Jerrel's family kindly offered some appliances as a gift for our new home (we were stressing this one a little bit). Eventually, we will install some new laminate flooring in all of the rooms. The second bedroom is small, so Jerrel would like to turn it into a "laundry wash room". What sucks right now is: I still have 2 months left on my lease, so Jerrel and I are not able to combine money which will otherwise go to my rent and expenses. So, why move out there? Well for one, the commute on 45N sucks, and it seems no one's hip to 59N, the traffic's significantly lighter. Second, my job will be relocating to the Woodlands this coming January - the move puts me that much closer to work. Third, Jerrel had lived in the area before, and he feels we can be very comfortable. Last, the cost of living is much cheaper (in regard to houses) and is far less than most apartments for rent in Houston. The funny thing about all of this, there is some new apartments being built in front, and to the side of my apartment complex. This means it will not be the secure, and secluded place it once was... and I couldn't move out at a better time. We are very excited! We are hoping to have most of our furniture moved this weekend, and just in time to celebrate the new year.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Another Joke
Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a Texan are all working together one day.
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
'I will give each on you one wish, which is three wishes in total', says the Genie.
The Canadian says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada .'
POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.
Osama was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan , Palestine , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come in our our precious land.'
POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.
The Texan says, 'I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.'
The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 5oo feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable.'
The Texan sits down, cracks a beer, smiles, and says, 'Fill it with water.'
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Jokes, Jokes and some more Jokes!!
A guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, you've got to help me. My penis is orange." Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his pants so he can check. Damned if the guy's penis isn't orange. Doc tells the guy, "This is very strange. Sometimes things like this are caused by a lot of stress in a person's life."
Probing as to the causes of possible stress, the doc asks the guy, "How are things going at work?" The guy responds that he was fired about six weeks ago. The doctor tells him that this must be the cause of the stress. Guy responds, "No. The boss was a real asshole, I had to work 20-30 hours of overtime every week and I had no say in anything that was happening. I found a new job a couple of weeks ago where I can set my own hours, I'm getting paid double what I got on the old job and the boss is a really great guy." So the doc figures this isn't the reason.
He asks the guy, "How's your home life?" The guy says, "Well, I got divorced about eight months ago." The doc figures that this has got to be the reason for all of the guys stress. Guy says, "No. For years, all I listened to was nag, nag, nag. God, am I glad to be rid of that old bitch." So the doc takes a few minutes to think a little longer.
He inquires, "Do you have any hobbies or a social life?" The guy replies, "No, not really. Most nights I sit home, watch some porno flicks and munch on Cheetos."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This man is walking down the road and hears someone crying. He stops and looks over the fence and sees a woman without any arms or legs crying beside a pool. He asks "What's the problem?" she says "Well I've never been hugged before." Well this is a nice guy so he hops the fence and gives her a hug. Half an hour later he is going back to his car and hears her crying. He asks "Now what's wrong?" she says "I've been thinking and..I've never been kissed before". Well the guy thinks what's the harm in giving her a kiss to make her feel better? He hops the fence and gives her a kiss. At his car he finds that his keys are lost so he goes back to the girl and finds his keys there but he sees her crying again. "Now what's wrong" he asked She responds "I've never been fucked before" The guy picks her up and throws her into the pool and says "Now you're fucked real good."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man walks up to the bar, and speaks to the bartender. "I bet you $500 that I can piss in this cup from across the room." The bartender looks at the man like he was nuts and says with a laugh, "Ooook buddy. You got a deal." So the man walks over to the other side of the room, pulls down his zipper and just lets it fly. Piss goes everywhere; on the bar, on customers, all over the bartender, but not a drop lands in the cup. The man walks back over to the bartender. The bartender says, "Ha ha ha. Well pay up." So the man pays him, turns around and begins to laugh hysterically. The bartender asks, "You just lost $500, why are you laughing?" The man turns around and says to the bartender, "Well you see that man over there." The bartender says, "Yeah." He replies, "Well, I bet him $10,000 that I could piss all over your bar and you, and that you would be happy and laugh about it!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A farmer hires a college student one summer to help around the farm. At the end of the summer the farmer says, "Son, since you have done such a fine job here this summer, I am going to throw a party for you." The college guy says, "Right on, thanks a lot man." So the farmer says, "Well you better be able to handle a few beers because there will be lotsa drinkn' going on." College guy "Hey, I can drink just as much as anyone else so I should do just fine." Farmer "There is also going to be a lot of fightn' so I hope you are ready." College guy "I have been working hard all summer and I think I am in pretty good shape." Farmer says, "Well, did I mention that there will be lotsa sex?" College guy "Good. I have been out here all summer and I have been dying for some action. What should I wear to this party?" Farmer says, "I don't care it's just going to be me and you."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This guy walks into the bar and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting on a bar stool all alone. So the guy sits down next to her and pulls a small box from his pocket. He opens it and there's a frog inside. The blonde says, "He's cute, but does he do tricks?" The guy says, "Yea, he licks pussy." So after talking with her for several minutes, he convinces her to come with him to his apartment. They get there and she takes all of her clothes off, gets into the bed and spreads her legs. The guy sets the frog right between her legs and it just sits there not moving at all. the blond says, "Well? what's up?" The frog still does not move. So the guy leans over to the frog and says, "All right, I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car . . . and you know how you just get so stressed out and life stuff seems to get funny when it normally wouldn't be? Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it . . . the driver was a DWARF, a little person! He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!" So, I look down at him and say, "Well, then which one are you?". . . and that's when the fight started.
Probing as to the causes of possible stress, the doc asks the guy, "How are things going at work?" The guy responds that he was fired about six weeks ago. The doctor tells him that this must be the cause of the stress. Guy responds, "No. The boss was a real asshole, I had to work 20-30 hours of overtime every week and I had no say in anything that was happening. I found a new job a couple of weeks ago where I can set my own hours, I'm getting paid double what I got on the old job and the boss is a really great guy." So the doc figures this isn't the reason.
He asks the guy, "How's your home life?" The guy says, "Well, I got divorced about eight months ago." The doc figures that this has got to be the reason for all of the guys stress. Guy says, "No. For years, all I listened to was nag, nag, nag. God, am I glad to be rid of that old bitch." So the doc takes a few minutes to think a little longer.
He inquires, "Do you have any hobbies or a social life?" The guy replies, "No, not really. Most nights I sit home, watch some porno flicks and munch on Cheetos."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This man is walking down the road and hears someone crying. He stops and looks over the fence and sees a woman without any arms or legs crying beside a pool. He asks "What's the problem?" she says "Well I've never been hugged before." Well this is a nice guy so he hops the fence and gives her a hug. Half an hour later he is going back to his car and hears her crying. He asks "Now what's wrong?" she says "I've been thinking and..I've never been kissed before". Well the guy thinks what's the harm in giving her a kiss to make her feel better? He hops the fence and gives her a kiss. At his car he finds that his keys are lost so he goes back to the girl and finds his keys there but he sees her crying again. "Now what's wrong" he asked She responds "I've never been fucked before" The guy picks her up and throws her into the pool and says "Now you're fucked real good."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man walks up to the bar, and speaks to the bartender. "I bet you $500 that I can piss in this cup from across the room." The bartender looks at the man like he was nuts and says with a laugh, "Ooook buddy. You got a deal." So the man walks over to the other side of the room, pulls down his zipper and just lets it fly. Piss goes everywhere; on the bar, on customers, all over the bartender, but not a drop lands in the cup. The man walks back over to the bartender. The bartender says, "Ha ha ha. Well pay up." So the man pays him, turns around and begins to laugh hysterically. The bartender asks, "You just lost $500, why are you laughing?" The man turns around and says to the bartender, "Well you see that man over there." The bartender says, "Yeah." He replies, "Well, I bet him $10,000 that I could piss all over your bar and you, and that you would be happy and laugh about it!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A farmer hires a college student one summer to help around the farm. At the end of the summer the farmer says, "Son, since you have done such a fine job here this summer, I am going to throw a party for you." The college guy says, "Right on, thanks a lot man." So the farmer says, "Well you better be able to handle a few beers because there will be lotsa drinkn' going on." College guy "Hey, I can drink just as much as anyone else so I should do just fine." Farmer "There is also going to be a lot of fightn' so I hope you are ready." College guy "I have been working hard all summer and I think I am in pretty good shape." Farmer says, "Well, did I mention that there will be lotsa sex?" College guy "Good. I have been out here all summer and I have been dying for some action. What should I wear to this party?" Farmer says, "I don't care it's just going to be me and you."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This guy walks into the bar and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting on a bar stool all alone. So the guy sits down next to her and pulls a small box from his pocket. He opens it and there's a frog inside. The blonde says, "He's cute, but does he do tricks?" The guy says, "Yea, he licks pussy." So after talking with her for several minutes, he convinces her to come with him to his apartment. They get there and she takes all of her clothes off, gets into the bed and spreads her legs. The guy sets the frog right between her legs and it just sits there not moving at all. the blond says, "Well? what's up?" The frog still does not move. So the guy leans over to the frog and says, "All right, I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we are alongside the road and slowly the driver gets out of the car . . . and you know how you just get so stressed out and life stuff seems to get funny when it normally wouldn't be? Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it . . . the driver was a DWARF, a little person! He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!" So, I look down at him and say, "Well, then which one are you?". . . and that's when the fight started.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Pepsi Can Designs
Check It Out - some of these are pretty cool. There is a link to design your own can under the sites of the week.
http://www.pepsigallery.com/
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Check The Pizza - No really, check it
So after work, I went and got a haircut. I was hungry after my haircut, so I forewent watching Survivor to go get some food at the grocery store. (PS, if you read the news around, you know where I'm going with this) I was on the hunt for something quick and some ingredients for Chicken Parmesan (for Saturday night). I went for the Totinos Pizza - $1.00 each. I grabbed the Mexican style pizzas - two of them - and noticed they were missing all the Pepperoni pizzas.
"These bastards need to re-stock", I thought.
Onward to get the rest of my groceries, proving again, that shopping while hungry always burns the pockets. I got home and threw in my Mexican pizza and turned on the last half of Survivor. I booted up my laptop. I watched Survivor while the pizza cooked and then ate. My laptop was on the AOL homepage while I ate right next to it, but I didn't look at the Internet until a few minutes after I ate. Survivor ended and I watched a few minutes of CSI. Then I hopped on the Internet and noticed "Pizza Recall on Totinos ... ". As I read headline, I saw that Totinos pizzas and a similar brand had been recalled due to cases of e-coli. I immediately searched e-coli to see what the symptoms were - stomach cramps, diarrhea, vomiting. I called my sister to tell her what happened.
I forgot how it came about, but she told me she ate a Totinos pizza for dinner also.
"Yeah well get this, I just hopped on the Internet, and read about -"
"-the people getting sick?" She said.
"What?"
As I was talking to her, she heard something about it, too but - BEFORE - she ate the pizza. I gave her a lot of shit on that one. I talked on the phone with her as I read more online. The recall was on Pepperoni and other style pizzas, but none of the pizzas I brought were on the list. I asked my sister and she ate the pepperoni one and it's been in her freezer about a month.
Hopefully she won't get sick. I've eaten the two pepperoni pizzas in the last month. I thought I got a touch of something from one of them, but nothing too serious besides cramps.
What the hell, you can't eat anything anymore.
At the store I also got one of those bags of salad. I was looking at the baby spinach ones thinking how good that would be, then I started thinking about the spinach recalls.
I'd like to eat fresh food everyday. Who wouldn't. But who has the time or the money. That thinking is why I don't eat healthy, but it's a bad attitude to have. I go for the cheaper, easier way. And now - this. I'm eating bacon bits from here on!
"These bastards need to re-stock", I thought.
Onward to get the rest of my groceries, proving again, that shopping while hungry always burns the pockets. I got home and threw in my Mexican pizza and turned on the last half of Survivor. I booted up my laptop. I watched Survivor while the pizza cooked and then ate. My laptop was on the AOL homepage while I ate right next to it, but I didn't look at the Internet until a few minutes after I ate. Survivor ended and I watched a few minutes of CSI. Then I hopped on the Internet and noticed "Pizza Recall on Totinos ... ". As I read headline, I saw that Totinos pizzas and a similar brand had been recalled due to cases of e-coli. I immediately searched e-coli to see what the symptoms were - stomach cramps, diarrhea, vomiting. I called my sister to tell her what happened.
I forgot how it came about, but she told me she ate a Totinos pizza for dinner also.
"Yeah well get this, I just hopped on the Internet, and read about -"
"-the people getting sick?" She said.
"What?"
As I was talking to her, she heard something about it, too but - BEFORE - she ate the pizza. I gave her a lot of shit on that one. I talked on the phone with her as I read more online. The recall was on Pepperoni and other style pizzas, but none of the pizzas I brought were on the list. I asked my sister and she ate the pepperoni one and it's been in her freezer about a month.
Hopefully she won't get sick. I've eaten the two pepperoni pizzas in the last month. I thought I got a touch of something from one of them, but nothing too serious besides cramps.
What the hell, you can't eat anything anymore.
At the store I also got one of those bags of salad. I was looking at the baby spinach ones thinking how good that would be, then I started thinking about the spinach recalls.
I'd like to eat fresh food everyday. Who wouldn't. But who has the time or the money. That thinking is why I don't eat healthy, but it's a bad attitude to have. I go for the cheaper, easier way. And now - this. I'm eating bacon bits from here on!
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Brian's grandmother
I just received this email from Jess...
Brian's grandmother died last night in a car accident, we will miss her very much--we are traveling to Texas tommorrow for her funeral. Keep us in your prayers. Love Jess
Just thought everyone would want to know and keep them in your prayers!
Brian's grandmother died last night in a car accident, we will miss her very much--we are traveling to Texas tommorrow for her funeral. Keep us in your prayers. Love Jess
Just thought everyone would want to know and keep them in your prayers!
Friday, October 26, 2007
Dear Tech Support
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the
flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend
5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable
programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the
system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no
avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
------------ --------- --------- -------
Dear Desperate:
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command:
"I Thought You Loved Me.exe" and try to download Tears 6.2 and
don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works
as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications
Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above
application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5,
Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 it is a very bad program that
will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT
install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will
eventually seize control of all your system resources).
Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are
unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
Here I go again...
Well, this is it. Tomorrow is officially my last day at ION... The who? What's that? Haha... I can't say I will miss being quizzed either. Just one year and four months after Brad left the company - I'm also moving on to better things. It's not that the company is all that bad: the problem is, after learning all aspects of the business you realize you have nowhere to go within the station. It literally becomes a waiting game to advance in the field. I want to move up while I'm still somewhat young and motivated. Even my own engineer admitted it would be best to work in several markets under different job categories, before reaping the benefit of working in broadcast media. So all day today, I'm called a "traitor"! But damn, I'm scared too - I mean, I'm leaving a "family" to become someone else's "step-child". I can only hope I'm as valued at the new company, as Brad and I were working at ION. Having seniority had its perks, but when boredom sets in - it's time for a new beginning. I got off the phone with Brad about an hour or so ago, and I asked if he would have interest working in television. If so, maybe he and I could commute to FSN together! Come on Brad, it could save us on gas!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
DECOY
Only a person in Texas could think of this.
From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Austin, Texas after last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other
patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--,flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.
The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud Redneck. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
ALL OF MY PROUD FUCKIN' TEXANS
From the county where drunk driving is considered a sport, comes this true story. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Austin, Texas after last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other
patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night--,flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left. At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.
The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test. To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said, I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud Redneck. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
ALL OF MY PROUD FUCKIN' TEXANS
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Money at the root no more
I have come to the conclusion, not suddenly, but upon years and years of gradually accumulating and piecing together the information from life, that money is absolutely the root of all evils, but not for much longer in my little arena of life. Many of you may fervently disagree, and that is o.k. So, upon this conclusion that I have made, I have decided that I will strive everyday to no longer allow money to control my life. Money will no longer have its power over me, and the black hole that I face with tremendous fear and trepidation every time I have to pay the weekly bills, will no more suck me into its spirit crushing vortex of darkness. My goal is to be free from the gripping claws of the almighty green and begin to live my life for crying out loud already. I am in debt up to my eyeballs, I can barely afford food, I certainly cannot afford to buy clothes or shoes or anything that I dare want. This is o.k. This is great. This is not what defines me. I am not what I eat or buy or spend or consume...Money does not make me who I am or what I can be. It is a prison. A spirit killer. A drug. A demon passing through the hands of everyone alive. Does your money define you? Determine the way you live? Necessary for survival? Uh huh. It is time for us to let go and be free to live again.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Single Dads Now?
I will not apologize for the intrusion of my academics onto you people, but look at it this way, you are lending a helping hand to a struggling student in need of your most valued opinion. So, without further adieu, I will ask you this:
Do you know any single fathers?...Describe them. How and why do you think society views single dads differently from single moms? What do you think when you imagine a single dad?
Your answers are highly and greatly appreciated, and if I had money, I would pay you to answer, but I do not have money, only the love in my heart for you who took the time to respond.
Thank you and good day.
Do you know any single fathers?...Describe them. How and why do you think society views single dads differently from single moms? What do you think when you imagine a single dad?
Your answers are highly and greatly appreciated, and if I had money, I would pay you to answer, but I do not have money, only the love in my heart for you who took the time to respond.
Thank you and good day.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
But is less really more? ... The evolution of :)
Thomas Jefferson sat quietly at his desk and prepared his ink and quill. With great thought, he poured out his passion and experience onto a roll of paper. Crossing his 't' and dotting his 'i', Jefferson, with patience, wrote out line and lines of the Declaration of Independence.
Today, our passion, our individuality, our ideas can be expressed by :).
Just an observation. Is less really more? Has more become less? Or we actually have less of more - less - more. Anywho.
To prove my point. Informal writing skills have made their way into formal writings. Newspaper editors may slip in a LOL, OK, :). These symbols, abbreviations have most likely been printed in major metropolitan newspapers.
Also, in line with informal writing skills, writing notes to friends, there's no spell check. Those spelling errors have integrated into homework and essays where they somewhere along the way are accepted. In my school days, a teacher would 'red mark' the word "ain't".
Anyway, maybe all this is crazy talk. :p
Thanks Matt for the inspiration.
Today, our passion, our individuality, our ideas can be expressed by :).
Just an observation. Is less really more? Has more become less? Or we actually have less of more - less - more. Anywho.
To prove my point. Informal writing skills have made their way into formal writings. Newspaper editors may slip in a LOL, OK, :). These symbols, abbreviations have most likely been printed in major metropolitan newspapers.
Also, in line with informal writing skills, writing notes to friends, there's no spell check. Those spelling errors have integrated into homework and essays where they somewhere along the way are accepted. In my school days, a teacher would 'red mark' the word "ain't".
Anyway, maybe all this is crazy talk. :p
Thanks Matt for the inspiration.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Less is more
Matt, for the love of God, try to cut down large fonts and multiple line breaks between sentences!
: )
: )
Question for anyone to respond to...
Did my most recent post, "History 101" offend anyone? Did I step on some toes? If so, would this posting be enough for you to not call me a friend anymore? Any/all responses are welcome. I will explain after receiving some responses.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Gun Control
So, I have to write a five page in class essay on gun control to graduate university....sigh...what has our education system come to?....My question to you all is, will stiffer federal gun control laws reduce the problem of violent/fatal gun crimes in the US, like the Cho masacre of the VA Tech students? Why or why not?
Side note: Maybe we should just burn the Constitution and write a new one, or eat more Tofu and forget about it...
Side note: Maybe we should just burn the Constitution and write a new one, or eat more Tofu and forget about it...
Friday, September 21, 2007
HISTORY 101
History 101
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer more quickly. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals, and
2. Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is now known as the Conservative movement.
Other men -- who were weaker and less skilled at hunting -- learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQs and doing the sewing, fetching, hair dressing, and dancing around the fire. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. (Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.)
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant.
Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with a slice of lime), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish, but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.
Another interesting evolutionary side note: most liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood, and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule in baseball because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies try to hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to piss them off.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
CAN ** YOU ** HELP?
Hello everyone, I am reposting this bulletin on the behalf of my best friend of 6 years, Christina L. J.
Christina has recently been diagnosed with Wegener's Granulotamosis, and is currently undergoing treatment including chemotherapy and over 20 medical prescriptions.
The cost of treatment (after insurance), combined with living expenses have placed a strain on Christina's finances - and unfortunately, she is having to pick and choose doctor's appointments.
Christina and her family are selling bracelets ($5 each) to help with the Awareness, Research, and Support for the Vasculitis Foundation. The disease Wegener's Granulotamosis falls under the Vasculitis umbrella.
If you are interested in purchasing any bracelets, please let me know. They are red and say "Vasculitis Foundation". Also Vasculitis Awareness Week is Sept 23-29.
Proceeds will go to the Vasculitis Foundation for the research and treatment of this disease, and to Christina for her continuous treatment while on long term disability.
For more information, please send all inquires to: suzyherrera0716@yahoo.com
Thank you for your time and God bless,
Suzy
Friday, August 31, 2007
Involuntary Muscular Contractions
A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students.
Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor
decided to lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know
what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"
She replied, "Probably deer hunting with his buddies."
The professor laughed so hard he could not continue with the class
Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor
decided to lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, "Do you know
what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"
She replied, "Probably deer hunting with his buddies."
The professor laughed so hard he could not continue with the class
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
The Parrot
A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot . . . there was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
'Why so little, ' she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said,
'Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.'
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any way. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up. In her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her and said,
'New house, new madam.'
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought that's really not so bad. When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw and said,
'New house, new madam, new girls.'
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work. the bird looked at him and said,
'Hi, Keith!'
'Why so little, ' she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said,
'Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.'
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any way. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up. In her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her and said,
'New house, new madam.'
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought that's really not so bad. When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw and said,
'New house, new madam, new girls.'
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work. the bird looked at him and said,
'Hi, Keith!'
Monday, August 27, 2007
Saturday at Schlitterbahn
This last Saturday I went to Schlitterbahn with my sister, nephew, her friend and daughter - who also calls me Uncle Brad, and a friend of theirs. Although I have been enjoying my camera on my new phone (see Da' Pizza Box), I had to leave it in the lockers. I wanted ot take pictures of some of the cool stuff there. The only pictures I had were after. But I did find this promotional video on the Schlitterbahn site. Part of the park that we went to just opened this summer. It had a ride that twisted around. What really amazed me was how realistic the video was. Keep in mind, the video was done in 3D. Although the presentation was dull, the actual modeling and realization was amazing. If wanted to look through my eyes late Saturday afternoon around 2 to 3 pm, this would be it. Check it out. (PS - The image will take you to a larger map)
Don't mess with old women
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Don't Mess With Old Ladies
If you want to brighten someone's day, pass this on to someone you know.
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Don't Mess With Old Ladies
If you want to brighten someone's day, pass this on to someone you know.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Update
I know I haven't been keeping up with everyone like I should, so I hope everyone is doing well. Just an update on myself, I'm FINALLY headed back to school. ugh. Luckily, I'll be taking college algebra, which I SHOULD do decently. *crosses fingers* Work is going well for the most part and life is just moving along. So, if anyone has any ?'s, drop me a line. Otherwise, I'll keep posting lil jokes and just stuff on here when time allows.
Matt
Matt
Definition
Why is ORGASM a 6 letter word??
Because it's easier to spell than OhmyGodyesohshitdeeperyesGodpleasefuckyesyesyesfuckmebaby!!
Have a good day :)
Because it's easier to spell than OhmyGodyesohshitdeeperyesGodpleasefuckyesyesyesfuckmebaby!!
Have a good day :)
Thursday, August 16, 2007
It's still happening!!
Brad, your post didn't make the count go up on my board. It still reads 246, which was the number when I put my last post up. Am I going retarded?? LOL
Guess what I saw at Wild West ....
Coming out of Wild West after a set of exhausting but fun polkas and a little anxiety abut being chased down a few weeks ago, I saw this parked pretty close to behind my truck.
Roobby Dooo!!!
Roobby Dooo!!!
Friday, August 10, 2007
is it just me?
I log into the blog this morning and see that there are 245 posts. I"m thinking great, more reading material due to 3 new blogs, or so I think. I get into the blogs, and I only see 1 new blog. WTF? Are the blogs being hidden? Is this happening to anyone else?
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Pictures break it all up.
I was thinking, it seems to me like I get things better in chunks of information rather than one line stream of information, beginning to end.I often find I read magazines and newspapers faster and more often becuase pictures and graphics and illustrations break up the pages. So for the sole purpose of breaking up information, I am posting a picture and reminding you all that if you click on the link to the left called "Da Pizza Box" - it will be filled up periodically with pictures from my cell phone and other pictures.
Monday, July 30, 2007
When you lose, you really win.
It's no mystery that life has its ups & downs. We walk, we trip or slip, we fall, we get right back up & continue walking with caution in our step. But why must we fail to give attention to the process of *growing*? At the end of our journey, that's the part *of* the journey that's most important in getting us *through* said journey...so it's striking when noticing how often those little details had gotten overlooked or not even noticed.
I'm thinking it's because we're so distracted by answers to questions & what control we have over them, generally & specifically. It's just like how we obviously can't drive, talk on the cell, do make-up, read the paper, & shoot the bird to passers by without getting ourselves into a major wreck or a fender-bender.
Everything seems to be a part of some vicious cycle, these days. You can't talk about gas prices without commenting "Yeah, it's all a vicious cycle"; you can't talk about cultural community without resulting to some war, later saying "Yeah, that's just our government...just a vicious cycle". Everywhere you look, something is distracting us yet we continue putting our hands in the fire.
What do we gain from all of this? What do we get out of being burnt by some cycle we really want no part of, yet need in order to get by?
I'm not an intelligent man- I've only attyended minor amounts of structured study & schooling, but still have very little to accredit myself to. I'm 26 years old, will be 27 coming this September, & still have yet to even dance a full song. Without being certain that I'm even asking the right questions, I look back upon everything around me that's gone on in my life & sit in wonder that in all the times I'd felt at a loss, I was actually gaining the time, & emotional tools, to heal & grow.
Because of this type of reflection, & because of my extent on reflecting, I look at what's around me now & what has been, the past few years, & am surprised at how my environment itself has its own vicious cycle. I'm seeing how so many people are still being pulled down by their misguidedness or by the lack of true in- or foresight. I see how people are becoming more & more distracted as the days go by...so, I've decided to post this in their acknowledgement & helpful advisory.
Don't let yourself get distracted. Don't let yourself get detoured. If you find yourself at any kind of loss, look back to what you have & hold on to it for dear life. Make something of your future & don't worry about the mishaps of the present- they'll work themselves out, believe me. Just because you can't jump a 10-foot distance *does not* mean you can't jump at all.
You have to be in a bind to get out of a bind. You have to fall in a hole to pull yourself out. You have to go broke to feel rich...& a frown only reminds us of our smile. So don't worry about losing. When we lose, we really do win.
Mr. Hand
I'm thinking it's because we're so distracted by answers to questions & what control we have over them, generally & specifically. It's just like how we obviously can't drive, talk on the cell, do make-up, read the paper, & shoot the bird to passers by without getting ourselves into a major wreck or a fender-bender.
Everything seems to be a part of some vicious cycle, these days. You can't talk about gas prices without commenting "Yeah, it's all a vicious cycle"; you can't talk about cultural community without resulting to some war, later saying "Yeah, that's just our government...just a vicious cycle". Everywhere you look, something is distracting us yet we continue putting our hands in the fire.
What do we gain from all of this? What do we get out of being burnt by some cycle we really want no part of, yet need in order to get by?
I'm not an intelligent man- I've only attyended minor amounts of structured study & schooling, but still have very little to accredit myself to. I'm 26 years old, will be 27 coming this September, & still have yet to even dance a full song. Without being certain that I'm even asking the right questions, I look back upon everything around me that's gone on in my life & sit in wonder that in all the times I'd felt at a loss, I was actually gaining the time, & emotional tools, to heal & grow.
Because of this type of reflection, & because of my extent on reflecting, I look at what's around me now & what has been, the past few years, & am surprised at how my environment itself has its own vicious cycle. I'm seeing how so many people are still being pulled down by their misguidedness or by the lack of true in- or foresight. I see how people are becoming more & more distracted as the days go by...so, I've decided to post this in their acknowledgement & helpful advisory.
Don't let yourself get distracted. Don't let yourself get detoured. If you find yourself at any kind of loss, look back to what you have & hold on to it for dear life. Make something of your future & don't worry about the mishaps of the present- they'll work themselves out, believe me. Just because you can't jump a 10-foot distance *does not* mean you can't jump at all.
You have to be in a bind to get out of a bind. You have to fall in a hole to pull yourself out. You have to go broke to feel rich...& a frown only reminds us of our smile. So don't worry about losing. When we lose, we really do win.
Mr. Hand
Back from Thailand
I'm back from my dive trip to Thailand. What an amazing place, but I recommend if going, to stay longer than a week as I did. The trip over and back is enough to kick even a travel seasoned veteran's ass. +/- 30 hours each way depending where exactly you go in Southeast Asia. We stayed at Kata Noi Beach, Phuket, Thailand, a place that has recovered very well from the tsunami. It is a little pricey to get there, but once there it is dirt cheap. We survived on less than $50 a day meals, hotel and taxis. The scuba was a $80 per day, which included a 2hour boat ride out and back and all meals for the day plus equipment, but is considerably less than most other diving destinations around the world. Here are some pics.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
I'm a World of Warcrft-oholic
As some may know I'm into playing that said game in my spare time. I admit it has affected my life I mean wife. Here are some funny things I found on You tube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=066_q4DIeqk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWEjvCRPrCo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeUhSjuhQYE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWEjvCRPrCo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeUhSjuhQYE
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Helpful advice in case of a bear attack
If you and a friend are walking in the woods and come upon a bear do not worry about out running the bear. All you really have to worry about is out running your friend. This has been a public service!!
The - "What-the-fuck?-ation" of America
Some things lack taste, or intellegence, and other things just make you think, "What the fuck ...?"
Here are a couple my recent "What the fuck ...?" moments.
Today I was watching a trailer on TV that said,
My thought was - "All? You mean the other two?. What the fuck? That's almost as dumb as saying, "Two friends take a dangerous journey. And one of them will betray them all."
My second "What the fuck ...?" moment came often as I had it once in reaction to a country song, and have had it a few times since. The "What the fuck ...?" moment has degraded, but it still makes good for a "What the fuck ...?" moment. In this song by a country artist, Brad Paisley, he sings,
... "What the fuck ...?" I for sure as hell don't want to kiss any chick I have to check for ticks. Either there's something really wrong about her or my dating circle is just all sorts of fucked up!
Y'all got any "What the fuck ...?" moments?
Here are a couple my recent "What the fuck ...?" moments.
Today I was watching a trailer on TV that said,
"Three friends will make a pact .... and one of them will betray them all."
My thought was - "All? You mean the other two?. What the fuck? That's almost as dumb as saying, "Two friends take a dangerous journey. And one of them will betray them all."
My second "What the fuck ...?" moment came often as I had it once in reaction to a country song, and have had it a few times since. The "What the fuck ...?" moment has degraded, but it still makes good for a "What the fuck ...?" moment. In this song by a country artist, Brad Paisley, he sings,
"I want to kiss you, under the moonlight. I want to check you for ticks."
... "What the fuck ...?" I for sure as hell don't want to kiss any chick I have to check for ticks. Either there's something really wrong about her or my dating circle is just all sorts of fucked up!
Y'all got any "What the fuck ...?" moments?
Bored in Tokyo
I just thought I would post some random ramblings from the airport here in Tokyo. I am on a layover from Houston to Bangkok. My flight from Houston was quite long 13+ hours, and we arrived here in Tokyo 10 hours ahead in the next day. Very strange. I didn't sleep a wink on the plane, so my bodyclock is all jacked up. I am trying to use the internet cafe here in the airport, and all the writing is in Japanese on the website. Same blogger site but everything is in Japanese. I do remember which tabs to click on. This has been a productive use of time, and a chance to blog, which I never do anymore. Well Check the Pizza gang (Brian, Jess, Matt, suz and BH), Yall have a great weekend, and I'll report back on the scuba diving in Phuket when I get back.
Craig
Craig
Friday, July 20, 2007
Bronzed Salt
Killjoy wants to bronze miniature salt shakers and give them to me as a gift. The plaque will read..."Bonified winner of the salt shaker bitters!"
I'm not bitter, I have a very specific style of humor...or ....ehemmm...
Oh, what do you people know!?
I'm not bitter, I have a very specific style of humor...or ....ehemmm...
Oh, what do you people know!?
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Why parents drink!!
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad." With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son John
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.
Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad." With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son John
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Friday, July 13, 2007
Monday, July 09, 2007
Sunday, July 08, 2007
For some reason, I couldn't type anything in the title box. So, here it is:
Johnny Bench
They called him "Johnny 'Blue Balls' on the Bench"
They assured him dating and courting was such a cinch,
Just stroke her hair and hold her hand,
And let her know you're a lucky man.
Dance all night and rub her back,
There was only one thing Johnny lacked,
Courage, gusto, go for the goal,
Hit a homerun, knock it in the hole.
Playing the game and playing it hard,
Knowing your hand and reading her cards.
Johnny got up in the batters box every day,
But instead of batting, he'd walk away.
Resolving himself to the bench once again,
Drooping his shoulders, crossing his hands,
He was a real victiim that Johnny 'Blue Balls' on the Bench,
He couldn't do something that was such a cinch,
He could make you laugh, he could make you cry,
He just couldn't bat, and didn't know why.
His practice swing was improving day to day,
But his follow through was the walk away.
Johnny talked his way on the team for years and years,
Convincing them all he had triumphed his fears.
At practice he'd field like a gold-glover, and even bat like a pro,
In pre-season, he was hot. Johnny was on a roll,
So the crowds would gather on opening day,
And Johnny, at bat, would walk away.
Keep your eyes on the ball, such a cinch,
But Johnny 'Blue Balls' sat on the bench.
By Brad A. Haines
Now if that there doesn't call to check the pizza, I don't know what does.
Johnny Bench
They called him "Johnny 'Blue Balls' on the Bench"
They assured him dating and courting was such a cinch,
Just stroke her hair and hold her hand,
And let her know you're a lucky man.
Dance all night and rub her back,
There was only one thing Johnny lacked,
Courage, gusto, go for the goal,
Hit a homerun, knock it in the hole.
Playing the game and playing it hard,
Knowing your hand and reading her cards.
Johnny got up in the batters box every day,
But instead of batting, he'd walk away.
Resolving himself to the bench once again,
Drooping his shoulders, crossing his hands,
He was a real victiim that Johnny 'Blue Balls' on the Bench,
He couldn't do something that was such a cinch,
He could make you laugh, he could make you cry,
He just couldn't bat, and didn't know why.
His practice swing was improving day to day,
But his follow through was the walk away.
Johnny talked his way on the team for years and years,
Convincing them all he had triumphed his fears.
At practice he'd field like a gold-glover, and even bat like a pro,
In pre-season, he was hot. Johnny was on a roll,
So the crowds would gather on opening day,
And Johnny, at bat, would walk away.
Keep your eyes on the ball, such a cinch,
But Johnny 'Blue Balls' sat on the bench.
By Brad A. Haines
Now if that there doesn't call to check the pizza, I don't know what does.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)