Every once in a while I find myself asking this question and sometimes it comes in different inflections. What really matters?
OK, so I spent hours over the last few days watching clips and video on some reality show I have followed for a few years now. At the end of the show the winner is usually either sickly arrogant or sickly pathologically a liar. And I wonder to myself why I wasted my time again watching this out of boredom.
What really matters?
As I layed there watching all this bullshit stuff, I was avoiding taking steps on putting my life on a more resistant free life. If I could get my finances together - ever - in my life - maybe I could concentrate on what really matters - whatever it is.
Personal relations are one of the things I think does matter. Over the last few days I have had some really great and simple moments with my friends. Thursday night I laughed with a friend who I thought months ago would surely not be friends with me if I was honest with her about certain things. I was honest and I thought as we talked last night how fortunate I was to have such a good friendship that went both ways and wasn't just about me and wasn't just about her.
Tonight I hung out with another friend and his girlfriend. After we ate, we eventaully ended up in the parking lot talking and cutting up. No walls were up or egos bolstering, we were just hanging out on a Friday night.
I came home a cuaght up on an email which someone has been trying to persuade me to build a website which I don't want to do. My reasons for refusal are diffent in their natures. My professional reason is lack of knowledge with an underlying egotistical rationalization and relief that I can't do it. But reading these emails from this small group of men, I realize that they have no walls with each other and really support each other. So do I do it for what really matters, to help these men communicate with each other and overcome my selfish thought on what a bad idea their site is? I guess the thoughts are irroneuos due to my lack of technical knowledge of this request.
What really matters?
Hurricane Ike was a pain in the ass more after than during. The slow reconstruction and recovery from the storm from traffic lights, gas availability, cable outage, cell phone outages and lack of power (that sleepless, sticky Saturday afternoon was a killer).In the process, I spent time with my siblings and their families. I watched my sisters' block communicate and watch out for each other. I came home Sunday night with an inspiration to not give up on things.
Anywho ....
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
I survived Ike - but I;m still waiting at this light
First off - I got too quiet in here - so I'm leaving this invitation open - come back and "Check the Pizza" - we can supply new passwords and whatever else is needed.
So Hurricane Ike:
Two ways of looking at this. I could just o on and not write about it and maybe 10 years later someone asks me, "What was Hurricane Ike like?" and I'd already have forgotten OR
I can remember all the times and pics and share it with whomever.
I'm choosing the later and hope to hear others stories and thoughts on it.
So here it goes:
Day 1: Thursday September 11, 2008
On the seventh anniversary of 9/11, I think most of us didn't think about it as much. Ike had narrowed in to hit Galveston. Going into work on Thursday, I was already mentally prepared on having a long weekend. In my favor, I didn't have to be too prepared for work. By noon, we were packing up boxes to go out early and it was supposed to be a shorter day. First sign of the storm was the traffic and evacuation. My boss and I witnessed a little chaos at the Fed Ex office where dozens were pouring in to send packages. My usual Thursday night routine of a meeting with my friend Tammy was altered to dinner and hanging out with a few friends. I went to Krogers before dinner to stock up and the pre-storm preparation was clear in there, but not too crazy. I returned home and went out again to fill up on gas. I came home with money, gas and groceries and only had three things to do before I slept.
First I had to catch up on laundry before any expected power outages and then I decided I'd do a quick picture inventory of the apt for insurance purposes. That lasted for a while longer than I expected and I think I got a little carried away. I actually inventoried my boots which were given to me anyway! I was tired, alright?!! I decided to board up and pack the next morning.
Day 2: Friday September 12, 2008
This is kinda foggy, more the purpose for blogging this. I did a little more laundry and then prepped for the storm. I unplugged everything, put things up off the floor and put towels in front of the doors. I went to stay with my sister during the storm. We cleared the backyard and watched a few hours of storm tracking. What we watched was the storm surge begin to overtake Galveston and witht the storm hours away, it was apparent this wasn't like Rita. Sometime about 9 pm, the power went out. By 11 pm, my sister and nephew went to bed. I called my friend Jessica and talked for an hour as I looked out the window by candlelight.
Day 3: Saturday Septemebr 13, 2008
As the winds picked up - I tried to go to bed on the living room fold out bed. The winds were picking up and all I could think about is something coming through the window. I must have sat there for close to an hour before giving up and crashing out in my sisters room at 1 am.
We were awaken at 4:30 am by a loud noise. My sister got a flash light and looked out the window.
"Oh, it's just a shingle"
"What time is it?", I asked.
"Holy shit, Brad, take a look at this."
I got up and looked, "The whole fort is down"
"And see the whole in the fence?"
We decided to move to the bathroom and sleep in there to avoid any debris coming through the window. We carried lance in there and called the dog in there. Most times you gotta lure the dog out under the bed when she is tired or scared. She came, this time, at the call of her name.
We didn't sleep at all. We listened to the radio and talked the whole time. My sister told me there was a leak in the kitchen. I thought it was a small leak, but it was streaming down. We grabbed an Igloo and placed it under the leak. An hour later we checked on it and poured it out. At 6:30 am, we saw a little light and went to check on the leak. The spout on the Igloo was open! There were alot more leaks and the kitchen floor was soaking. I went upstairs and checked out the front yard and street.
We stated cleaning at 6:30 am and worked most of the morning on cleaning the kitchen. It took a few hours to clean it and squigee it out. Looking at the backyard - the entire fence was gone.
So Hurricane Ike:
Two ways of looking at this. I could just o on and not write about it and maybe 10 years later someone asks me, "What was Hurricane Ike like?" and I'd already have forgotten OR
I can remember all the times and pics and share it with whomever.
I'm choosing the later and hope to hear others stories and thoughts on it.
So here it goes:
Day 1: Thursday September 11, 2008
On the seventh anniversary of 9/11, I think most of us didn't think about it as much. Ike had narrowed in to hit Galveston. Going into work on Thursday, I was already mentally prepared on having a long weekend. In my favor, I didn't have to be too prepared for work. By noon, we were packing up boxes to go out early and it was supposed to be a shorter day. First sign of the storm was the traffic and evacuation. My boss and I witnessed a little chaos at the Fed Ex office where dozens were pouring in to send packages. My usual Thursday night routine of a meeting with my friend Tammy was altered to dinner and hanging out with a few friends. I went to Krogers before dinner to stock up and the pre-storm preparation was clear in there, but not too crazy. I returned home and went out again to fill up on gas. I came home with money, gas and groceries and only had three things to do before I slept.
First I had to catch up on laundry before any expected power outages and then I decided I'd do a quick picture inventory of the apt for insurance purposes. That lasted for a while longer than I expected and I think I got a little carried away. I actually inventoried my boots which were given to me anyway! I was tired, alright?!! I decided to board up and pack the next morning.Day 2: Friday September 12, 2008
This is kinda foggy, more the purpose for blogging this. I did a little more laundry and then prepped for the storm. I unplugged everything, put things up off the floor and put towels in front of the doors. I went to stay with my sister during the storm. We cleared the backyard and watched a few hours of storm tracking. What we watched was the storm surge begin to overtake Galveston and witht the storm hours away, it was apparent this wasn't like Rita. Sometime about 9 pm, the power went out. By 11 pm, my sister and nephew went to bed. I called my friend Jessica and talked for an hour as I looked out the window by candlelight.
Day 3: Saturday Septemebr 13, 2008
As the winds picked up - I tried to go to bed on the living room fold out bed. The winds were picking up and all I could think about is something coming through the window. I must have sat there for close to an hour before giving up and crashing out in my sisters room at 1 am.
We were awaken at 4:30 am by a loud noise. My sister got a flash light and looked out the window.
"Oh, it's just a shingle"
"What time is it?", I asked.
"Holy shit, Brad, take a look at this."
I got up and looked, "The whole fort is down"
"And see the whole in the fence?"
We decided to move to the bathroom and sleep in there to avoid any debris coming through the window. We carried lance in there and called the dog in there. Most times you gotta lure the dog out under the bed when she is tired or scared. She came, this time, at the call of her name.
We didn't sleep at all. We listened to the radio and talked the whole time. My sister told me there was a leak in the kitchen. I thought it was a small leak, but it was streaming down. We grabbed an Igloo and placed it under the leak. An hour later we checked on it and poured it out. At 6:30 am, we saw a little light and went to check on the leak. The spout on the Igloo was open! There were alot more leaks and the kitchen floor was soaking. I went upstairs and checked out the front yard and street.We stated cleaning at 6:30 am and worked most of the morning on cleaning the kitchen. It took a few hours to clean it and squigee it out. Looking at the backyard - the entire fence was gone.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Short Story #1
Barnaby Smith was quite a guy, unfortunately he was only 3 feet high. But his pride and spirit were ten feet tall and all he wanted to do was play basketball. Of course a dwarf couldn't be a star. He practiced every day and wanted it really hard. He dribbled and took a 100 shots from the free throw line - passerby's amazed; he was playing all the time.
Then one day he fooled himself enough to believe he had the skills to make the team. No matter what the jokers and critics said, Barnaby never let any of it into his head.
The open tryout was an early Friday night and he had slept and ate what he felt was just right and the time came, and he grabbed his Reebok Pumps.
"Barnaby! You can't fly with those you naive chump!"
Never the mind, always the heart, that always set the drawf apart. He put his yellow jersey on, grabbed his keys and he was gone. On his way to the Courtyard Blue, he envisioned how his dream would come true. He pictured the girls, the fame, the new car, the mansion with acres and acres of back and front yard. He'd speak to all the unfortunate dwarfs of the land and shake thier little paws with his golden hands. He'd laugh at night with all the money he spent and prep his campaign to be president.
His mind was racing, racing, he was almost there. Hell, Barnaby even wore his lucky underwear. Anyway, he pulled in and parked and went inside. With each step full of confidence and a whole world of pride. In the locker room just to the right, he prepped himself for his final flight. He knew this was for sure his last chance. He'd end his life if he tripped up this little dance.
With a final quiet moment he meditated on that bench, A\a final self-confidence boost, "This'll be a cinch". And before he knew it, he stepped out that glossy floor, only to be welcomed be and outburst, a humiliating roar."
Look at Tom Thumb! Look at the minature basketball player!"
And it went on and on until a few minutes later. Then a booming voice killed the sound of the clan, and from it, Barnaby saw the most respected man. Coach William Wilson from Florida State. His record was flawless and his reputation so great.
"Line up for your first tryout drill, and don't waste my time, I got a champion team to build!"
"Let's start off from the three point mark,Those who make it get a little closer to start"
And every man shot it, only three had it made, next was Barnaby Smith at the plate. He pumped his Pumps and dribbled it thrice, then threw the shot up, not near the height. Came up short and out came the laughs. Maybe the next drill, he'd get it right - perhaps.
"A little closer all who had previously missed, the free throw line, more starters could come from this!"
The twelve men left shot two shots, one by one. Again, Barnaby's destined time had come. Three times he dribbled and this one more time,Then took his two shots, and missed both from the line. Six men moved on, to take it from the top. A dunk each gave them one final shot. Three stunning slams, a backboard, and a fall. Then one more time, he had the ball. He bent over and tried a few pumps more, ran as fast as he could and jumped off the floor. Not enough height, the story of his life.
The story of his life, not enough height. How could he let himself be such a dope? And he did something he never did before, he moped. A turn around and a long walk to the locker, Barnaby wasn't fit for basketball, maybe he'd try soccer.
After about three or four steps, a voice yelled out, "Mr Smith, what the heck?"
"I tried, I really did", he could only mumble out.
"You're not quite done with this tryout, come on over here and pull up your pants. Defensive drills next, you have one more chance."
With a little doubt, and even littler pride, he figured he'd give it the old college try. Get the ball away, that was the goal. For this last losing battle, he'd reach in the depths of his soul. Four chances to steal that ball, two guys got none, Barnaby got them all!
And the announcements were made, and he made the team! He couldn't believe this wasn't a dream. The biggest threat the following year, he had stole his way to the top tiers. Finally, Barnaby got all his deserved glory. A drawf felt ten feet tall in this little short story.
Then one day he fooled himself enough to believe he had the skills to make the team. No matter what the jokers and critics said, Barnaby never let any of it into his head.
The open tryout was an early Friday night and he had slept and ate what he felt was just right and the time came, and he grabbed his Reebok Pumps.
"Barnaby! You can't fly with those you naive chump!"
Never the mind, always the heart, that always set the drawf apart. He put his yellow jersey on, grabbed his keys and he was gone. On his way to the Courtyard Blue, he envisioned how his dream would come true. He pictured the girls, the fame, the new car, the mansion with acres and acres of back and front yard. He'd speak to all the unfortunate dwarfs of the land and shake thier little paws with his golden hands. He'd laugh at night with all the money he spent and prep his campaign to be president.
His mind was racing, racing, he was almost there. Hell, Barnaby even wore his lucky underwear. Anyway, he pulled in and parked and went inside. With each step full of confidence and a whole world of pride. In the locker room just to the right, he prepped himself for his final flight. He knew this was for sure his last chance. He'd end his life if he tripped up this little dance.
With a final quiet moment he meditated on that bench, A\a final self-confidence boost, "This'll be a cinch". And before he knew it, he stepped out that glossy floor, only to be welcomed be and outburst, a humiliating roar."
Look at Tom Thumb! Look at the minature basketball player!"
And it went on and on until a few minutes later. Then a booming voice killed the sound of the clan, and from it, Barnaby saw the most respected man. Coach William Wilson from Florida State. His record was flawless and his reputation so great.
"Line up for your first tryout drill, and don't waste my time, I got a champion team to build!"
"Let's start off from the three point mark,Those who make it get a little closer to start"
And every man shot it, only three had it made, next was Barnaby Smith at the plate. He pumped his Pumps and dribbled it thrice, then threw the shot up, not near the height. Came up short and out came the laughs. Maybe the next drill, he'd get it right - perhaps.
"A little closer all who had previously missed, the free throw line, more starters could come from this!"
The twelve men left shot two shots, one by one. Again, Barnaby's destined time had come. Three times he dribbled and this one more time,Then took his two shots, and missed both from the line. Six men moved on, to take it from the top. A dunk each gave them one final shot. Three stunning slams, a backboard, and a fall. Then one more time, he had the ball. He bent over and tried a few pumps more, ran as fast as he could and jumped off the floor. Not enough height, the story of his life.
The story of his life, not enough height. How could he let himself be such a dope? And he did something he never did before, he moped. A turn around and a long walk to the locker, Barnaby wasn't fit for basketball, maybe he'd try soccer.
After about three or four steps, a voice yelled out, "Mr Smith, what the heck?"
"I tried, I really did", he could only mumble out.
"You're not quite done with this tryout, come on over here and pull up your pants. Defensive drills next, you have one more chance."
With a little doubt, and even littler pride, he figured he'd give it the old college try. Get the ball away, that was the goal. For this last losing battle, he'd reach in the depths of his soul. Four chances to steal that ball, two guys got none, Barnaby got them all!
And the announcements were made, and he made the team! He couldn't believe this wasn't a dream. The biggest threat the following year, he had stole his way to the top tiers. Finally, Barnaby got all his deserved glory. A drawf felt ten feet tall in this little short story.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
The voice from above
Check the pizza you damn fool!
Your mind was last with you when you went to school.
You had it when you went to work today.
You had it with the last thing you say.
You had it when you got up for work.
It's always with you, you foolish jerk!
This is reason calling,
I'm long lost friend of your mind,
You and I used to talk and reason it out all of the time.
I'm the one who tells where to go.
I'm the one that tells you to awake.
I'm only one part of your mind,
But I am a part for God's sake.
What you lost was not your mind,
Just your security and confindence for a short time.
Your mind is with you right as we speak.
Go ahead mind - Speak, mind, speak!
Hear what your mind really has to say,
By lifting an ear before you walk away.
Hear where your mind tells you where to go.
Trust your searching for something you may already know.
Fear not, my fearful friend.
If I know you well,
You will "lose your mind again".
Just listen to reason, your long lost friend.
Your mind was last with you when you went to school.
You had it when you went to work today.
You had it with the last thing you say.
You had it when you got up for work.
It's always with you, you foolish jerk!
This is reason calling,
I'm long lost friend of your mind,
You and I used to talk and reason it out all of the time.
I'm the one who tells where to go.
I'm the one that tells you to awake.
I'm only one part of your mind,
But I am a part for God's sake.
What you lost was not your mind,
Just your security and confindence for a short time.
Your mind is with you right as we speak.
Go ahead mind - Speak, mind, speak!
Hear what your mind really has to say,
By lifting an ear before you walk away.
Hear where your mind tells you where to go.
Trust your searching for something you may already know.
Fear not, my fearful friend.
If I know you well,
You will "lose your mind again".
Just listen to reason, your long lost friend.
From Down Under
Not in Australia,
But from down under,
My mind is a goner,
And I sit here and wonder.
Where did my mind go?
Where does it hide?
Did it leave me for good,
Or just go for a ride?
It took my decisions,
It took my ambition,
It took my drive,
It even took my wishing.
My mind walked out the front door.
I missed it happen, I was staring at the floor.
It won't call back.
It didn't say good night.
It just left me, chaotic,
And I gave up the fight.
Why fight a losing mind?
Why take time to figure it out?
I say inside I lost my mind,
But do I say it out loud?
Mind, mind, where did you go?
Why did you make me so crazy?
To prove I lost you,
I'd find you but I'm too lazy.
If I had any mind at all,
I'd search you out behind every wall.
Maybe you'll return
If I make a short plea,
Mind, without you,
I'm just not the same old me.
But from down under,
My mind is a goner,
And I sit here and wonder.
Where did my mind go?
Where does it hide?
Did it leave me for good,
Or just go for a ride?
It took my decisions,
It took my ambition,
It took my drive,
It even took my wishing.
My mind walked out the front door.
I missed it happen, I was staring at the floor.
It won't call back.
It didn't say good night.
It just left me, chaotic,
And I gave up the fight.
Why fight a losing mind?
Why take time to figure it out?
I say inside I lost my mind,
But do I say it out loud?
Mind, mind, where did you go?
Why did you make me so crazy?
To prove I lost you,
I'd find you but I'm too lazy.
If I had any mind at all,
I'd search you out behind every wall.
Maybe you'll return
If I make a short plea,
Mind, without you,
I'm just not the same old me.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
dead pizza?
I guess everyone's too busy to post anything on here. guess I'll see y'all on my myspace blogs.
Hope everyone's doin well.
Hope everyone's doin well.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Trip to Europe
A young woman in the sleazy part of the old Galveston Strand was so
depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the
harbor.
She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the water when a
handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier.
He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm
off to Europe in the morning and if you like, I can stow you away on my
ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."
Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, I'll
keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."
The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a
fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning.
That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat.
From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece
of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.
Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by
the captain. "What are you doing here?" the captain asked.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get
food and a trip to Europe, and he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," the captain said. "This is the Bolivar Ferry."
depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the
harbor.
She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the water when a
handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier.
He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm
off to Europe in the morning and if you like, I can stow you away on my
ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."
Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, I'll
keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."
The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a
fresh start in Europe would give her life new meaning.
That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat.
From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece
of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.
Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by
the captain. "What are you doing here?" the captain asked.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get
food and a trip to Europe, and he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," the captain said. "This is the Bolivar Ferry."
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