One evening I was talking to my roommate about an honesty situation and he stated that to be honest is important, but to be so brutally honest as to sabotage yourself is another. That word stuck out - "sabotage".
Ladies and Gentlemen, Brad the Matyr.
I flash back thinking about how many times I have sabotaged myself in my "honesty", and also how my silence to avoid honesty has sabotaged myself too. But I think of a few generic realms of sabotage.
1. Women. All honesty or nothing. Know me fully or don't know me at all. That was my "game". My reasoning was how - no why continue a relationship based on lies. So let me drop this one on the ladies. "I'm a 30 year old alcoholic making X amount an hour, (where X=Less than Tolerable), I smoke, don't exercise, don't eat right. I'll date you when I feel like I have the time, but at this time in my life, I am working on my career, you know, something that works. If we start dating tomorrow, we may have to go Dutch, that is unless you want to pay for me? I'm here talking to you because my friends think I need to get laid, and frankly so do I. But you're cute though. In a humble way. I'm sure you smoke too. Those yellow teeth say so. It's not so much ow you look, but more or less, how much I want to get something going. I'll tell you the truth, I think you could be really hot tonight, but I am still a loser, so, uh, nevermind the whole thing. Alrighty now, take care!" - Too honest. Sabotaged. (And no, I don't think that, nor have I ever said anything like that - But you get the point.)
2. Jobs - "Am I qualified? Of course not. Merely. But given somepaid training, I could be in a matter of time. X amount will be good for me as far as paywise. I know you didn't ask, but I thought I should let you know. By the way, I won't be working any overtime, will I?"
Etc, Etc.
I ponder the word Sabotage. I ponder Honest. I ponder Humble. I ponder Success. And I come up with ...
I guess I come up with do the best I can, be as honest as I can, and be a part of something, rather than worry about everything while doing nothing.
Did that make sense? Yeah, I didn't think so either. It's 2 am. I am sabotaging my sleep.
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10 comments:
It's best to leave some things as a mystery...
The word "sabotage" comes from the French word "sabot"(i.e., "shoe").
Specifically, a metal shoe or clamp. Just prior to 1910, French railroad strikers would cut the "sabot" that held the railroad tracks in their place. Thus,they were engaging in "sabotage."
What ever happened to taking time to get to know someone else ? There is no need to immediately self-disclose every bit of information about us to another person. What is communicated to the other person is not the personal history, past and present, as you might believe you are communicating.
What is actually communicated to the listener is that the speaker has poor boundaries. Too much information way too soon. Haven't you ever met someone for the first time and came away feeling like the new person was just too much for an introduction ?
So, you are 30 and you do not get paid enough. Take a number and wait in line.
I challenge you to use your self-expression skills to enthrawl us with all that you have going for you. That is, all that is uniquely you. The real Brad. The one on the inside. Lets hear about the real Brad, and not the one who does not have this or that.
Go ahead, Brad. Make my day.
JOW
I was given input to quit blogging at 2 am, I am taking it!
My challenge still stands. We are waiting.
JOW
Hell, I didn't know Bh had friends!! When did this happen? :-) LOL
just kidding....
bh, i'd tell ya something insightful, but I don't have it.....I'm in the same boat. Hey, let's go to Treasures....LOL
OK, Matt, I feel you know. Sometimes I'm just posting for the hell of it, not for advice. To give input, advice, is assuming I wnat it. I do appreciate the hand reaching out, but sometimes having answers is not what one asks for. Sometimes we just say,
"Right On!"
"Fuck Yeah"
or
"Check The Pizza"
So all those blogs earleir from Matt and Brian, I realize m own part, trying to shed new light. And I know, like Juanonwon, advice only comes with care and the best of intentions. So thank you everyone, for being friends. But basically, I' just jumpin in the bitchfest.
OK, Matt, I feel you know. Sometimes I'm just posting for the hell of it, not for advice. To give input, advice, is assuming I wnat it. I do appreciate the hand reaching out, but sometimes having answers is not what one asks for. Sometimes we just say,
"Right On!"
"Fuck Yeah"
or
"Check The Pizza"
So all those blogs earleir from Matt and Brian, I realize m own part, trying to shed new light. And I know, like Juanonwon, advice only comes with care and the best of intentions. So thank you everyone, for being friends. But basically, I' just jumpin in the bitchfest.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna drink!!!
Dear Brad,
I miss you. You always make me laugh even when my life is upside down. You have all of these endearing qualities and you don't even know it. Ha, we all love you for who you are and I wouldn't have it different anyway...even though you deserve a fatter wallet and some tang...your'e in the kool skool. And if I can see that, so will she...your future bang, I mean.
Love, Jess
Jess just puts ting in the right frame of light, doesn't she?
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