This is me, a guy, with not much to say on anything. But then again, who needs anything to talk about. I've been floating down this little thing called life and what have I done it? Well, I have a daughter who turns eight on monday, I'm married to a wonderful woman, I have a job, we have a new car. Now of course the road that I took to get here is shall we say a little on the shady side. I wasn't what you would call a "Stand up guy" in my past. I know, I know, it's hard to belive, but it's true. I had come to a point in my life where I had to make a choice. Well, we see that I have made steps down the right path with that choice and that I have had a few missteps on the way as well. These are the things I fight with all the time; my past, my old life style ,and the place where I screwed up my life more than I have any where else on earth. So, what do I do? I don't think anyone here quite knows what it is like to live so far from home and from your future (except you Jess). Now, a problem that I see in myself, well, where to start, oh that is I don't tell my feelings till I'm to my limit. How is this important? How many have seen me explode? Anyone? Well? No? That's what I mean. Most of you guys haven't. I just don't lose it that often. I'm not saying that, that is a bad thing, but how do I really handles it? I'm not even sure of that one. How do I really handle stress? I'm not sure. I sure do like to pile it on though. New job, new car, new phones's, moving, find a place to live, live with my parents, live away from my wife, budget for two people living in diffrent places, less sex, more masterbateing, ex-wife, bitch at work, 45min drive to work one way, not knowing when I'll see my wife next, crap tv, adult ADHD, look for a part time job, being alone even when people are around, and quite smoking. Hell need I go on?
Now this isn't a cry for help or comfort(because I don't want it), this is me, just venting and letting go. I'm sorry that I am just blabering, but get over it. I'm in one of those moods. I'm tired, alone, and I had to be around my ex today. Now I was stupid for ever getting married to that. What in the hell was I thinking. I feel for her new or soon to be new husband(may he rest in peace). Anyways, That's a diffrent story. I thought birthday parties were fun. Or they were when I was 8. All I heard about was Michelle getting married and michelle that, and new baby this, and blah... blah... blah... puke! Oh and Abby's brthday party was on Michelle's birthday so I got to see that as well. Just a great time. Now I did enjoy being there and seeing Abby, but only seeing Abby. Anyways, this is me at my most peived.
Good day......
I SAID GOOD DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
13 comments:
Good Day!
(Geez)
Killjoy, you're gonna get input on this anyway. You know that. You're a lot like me whether you like to admit it or not. I do the same thing, hold in all in and then blow up. Only difference is my fuse is much shorter. This isn't about me though. Ms Kitty used to talk about how you never lose it. I remember when you did. Almost everytime we hung out at your house in high school, with Brad or your Dad or your Mom. I'd think, "Relax, man!", but I'd do it the next day over at my house. High School sucked. So, all that stuff from childhood, you just get to a point where you say f*ck it. We call that "acceptance" in the cult. Not always good acceptance. I'm not saying that acceptance means f*ck it, becuase it doesn't. But the major transformation I saw when you came back in our lives, was that most of the time, you were relaxed. (Unless you were losing in golf - sorry, I had to get one golf one in there!).
Something a friend of mine has been stressing lately, is to accept that were going to get lonely, angry, etc. We recognize it and go on. I know you'll becool again tomorrow or the next day. Key thing is don't shove all that stuff you said back in the vault and keep it for next time.
Ms Kitty and Killjoy,
You're time apart will go by fatser than you think. Just hold out. Don't give up on your plans for purpose of comfort or discomfort. If this is a plan yall believe in, it'll work out.
OK, That's enough Dr. Phil crap from me.
I tend to agree w/ bh, killjoy!! Just b/c you two are apart, that doesn't mean things can't go well. As much as I hate to admit it, the loneliness, among other things is a LOT worse when you're single and lonely. I envy you having mskitty. Y'all are a wonderful couple and I hope, pray and wish that I will be half as lucky as you two. Sure, you look at your past and see things/mistakes that you made. This is why hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20. Trust me, if I saw the things I see now, I wouldn't have put myself through half the crap that I have!! I know you guys don't have long distance up there, but if either one of you need someone to listen, please, vent to me. I really won't mind. Heck, I don't think ANYONE on this site that calls you a friend will EVER mind listening to you vent. Hell, I know Suzy's probably sick and tired of hearing my shit, but she STILL listens. I also do know how it sucks to move away from family and friends. Remember when I moved to Dallas? It sucked ass. Really, it did. That's why I was either in Houston or College station, for what seemed like every other weekend!! Just remember, we all are here for you two no matter what. If you choose to hold things in, that's fine, but don't forget about us. We'll always be here to help out in any way we can.
Am I just babbling now?
BH... the Good Day.... it came from ....That 70's Show..... If you watched anything other than American teenie bopper.... Or dancing with the stars... A.K.A. CRAP TV you would know.
This post has nothig to do with Jess and I. It has to do with my shitty shitty mood that I have a feeling I'll be in for a little while.
Oh Brian. I just don't know how you survived that party...to be honest I'm glad I wasn't there. I'll throw Abby her own birthday party where she won't have to share it with anyone. Yikes! And poor Andy, I mean he seems nice enough and I'm glad for Abby that she has a stepdad like him, but oh my geesh what will we do?It'll be better when I'm there by your side at these things, we can kiss alot, lots of PDA, rub it in if you wil, muhahahaha!!! Love and peanuts!
Thanks mskitty, I know it'll be alot better with you there by my side. It always is. I love you.
me 2 boogabo!
Aaaawwwwww.
Love Ya schmukems!
(That's you Matt!)
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