What really matters

Every once in a while I find myself asking this question and sometimes it comes in different inflections. What really matters?

OK, so I spent hours over the last few days watching clips and video on some reality show I have followed for a few years now. At the end of the show the winner is usually either sickly arrogant or sickly pathologically a liar. And I wonder to myself why I wasted my time again watching this out of boredom.

What really matters?

As I layed there watching all this bullshit stuff, I was avoiding taking steps on putting my life on a more resistant free life. If I could get my finances together - ever - in my life - maybe I could concentrate on what really matters - whatever it is.

Personal relations are one of the things I think does matter. Over the last few days I have had some really great and simple moments with my friends. Thursday night I laughed with a friend who I thought months ago would surely not be friends with me if I was honest with her about certain things. I was honest and I thought as we talked last night how fortunate I was to have such a good friendship that went both ways and wasn't just about me and wasn't just about her.

Tonight I hung out with another friend and his girlfriend. After we ate, we eventaully ended up in the parking lot talking and cutting up. No walls were up or egos bolstering, we were just hanging out on a Friday night.

I came home a cuaght up on an email which someone has been trying to persuade me to build a website which I don't want to do. My reasons for refusal are diffent in their natures. My professional reason is lack of knowledge with an underlying egotistical rationalization and relief that I can't do it. But reading these emails from this small group of men, I realize that they have no walls with each other and really support each other. So do I do it for what really matters, to help these men communicate with each other and overcome my selfish thought on what a bad idea their site is? I guess the thoughts are irroneuos due to my lack of technical knowledge of this request.

What really matters?

Hurricane Ike was a pain in the ass more after than during. The slow reconstruction and recovery from the storm from traffic lights, gas availability, cable outage, cell phone outages and lack of power (that sleepless, sticky Saturday afternoon was a killer).In the process, I spent time with my siblings and their families. I watched my sisters' block communicate and watch out for each other. I came home Sunday night with an inspiration to not give up on things.

Anywho ....