Stick around for another home video of Timmy's dance recital

OK, it is official.

THE ONE THING that will run guest off quicker than pulling down your pants is ... are you ready ... home videos.

Inconsiderate, selfish a-holes, who think what they shot at home on that boring Sunday afternoon, or at that family reunion, or at Timmy's dance recital - (We always wondered about Timmy) - (he speaks with a lisp) - or anything else in VHS mini tape of non pornographic content, will in fact run away guests!

Sad to say, there is only one way to find that out. Do it.

I put in the phonecall to God skit for my friends tonight. Not as funny to them as it was to us. Yes, sure, they had a few chuckles at our ingenious improv. That was followed with stretches and yawns.
"Boy look what time it is."
"Gotta go, or ... or something."
"Is that my wife calling?" - "You're not married!" - "Oh, well, maybe I should be?"
or the best one,
"Man, home videos, are you f*ckin kidding me? That's just bad etiquette man."

(Silence as your guests stampede down the stairs. Imagine, a good night, brought down so with no consideration!)

"Ok, ... I"LL CALL Y'ALL!"

"No, that's okay!"
"My cell phone is broke"
"Sure, whatever man!"

Quietly,... timidly,...regretfully,....
"well, ok, then"

So I walked back inside.

"OK, Joel, well it's just us."

"Shit man! We could have had such a great get-together! We could of been contenders! You blew it!"

"No, no, man, .... I think they liked it? They were just tired, going to ... bed ... at 5 pm ... oh, man, I blew it"
"You're sad. I'm going to bed"

Quietly,... timidly,...regretfully,....
"well, ok, then"

So I locked the door. Turned down the A.C. Walked in my room, grabbed my fleece blanket. Opened the fridge, grabbed me a Coke. Laid it all out in my living room. Turned off the lights, lit a candle, and hit play on the home videos.

As I rocked myself back in forth in comfort, I quietly chuckled at the old times.

"Those were good times old B, those were good times." A single teardrop rolls down the cheek of a chum with no friends. All to the fault of his own. Doomed for loneliness, he was slightly comforted in watching his past on tape. Rekindling the days.

"O-o-oh, my darling, I hunger for your kiss, alone, only y-o-u-u-U!
I-i-i-i-h ne -E -E -E -D your love,
I-i-i-ih, need your love, ...."

But what would he do when all his tapes ran out? When he had no present to replace the past? What would he do?

Fade out.


Now if that ain't the best check the pizza dramatic saga story, I don't know what is!!

Keep Coming BAck!